7 Day Motivational Thread 12/26-1/1
12-30-2011, 02:59 PM
#173
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,083
I just went back and looked, too, cause I remembered seeing it and was going to comment and then got distracted. I'm really glad you're at a healthy place on it now, Tori...I know it sucks to be triggered by what you know is your weak spot, but you've got perspective now, for sure! Yes, you are worth better, but the brain falls so easily into old patterns, doesn't it? At those times, the best thing is to give yourself a wakeup call, which you did by posting, and once you say it or write it, it's out there and you see it for what it is. I think you've very wise, but as they say, the right road isn't always easy.
Mern, don't look a 22 1/2 pound gift horse in the mouth! Congrats on those pounds, but more importantly (and I know you know it), congrats on managing your health issues without unnecessary medication and on all the positive changes you've made. In the long run, that's so much more important than the stupid number on the stupid scale.
And I totally hear you on getting too hungry and then stuffing in food like a madwoman. That is definitely one of my issues to work on as well.
Finally, I had a good day! Calories were good, pie chart is balanced, over 30g fiber, and I got plenty of water. Back on track with exercising tomorrow; I think we have low 60s before a cold front comes through next week. Sometimes baby steps are enough
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Mern, don't look a 22 1/2 pound gift horse in the mouth! Congrats on those pounds, but more importantly (and I know you know it), congrats on managing your health issues without unnecessary medication and on all the positive changes you've made. In the long run, that's so much more important than the stupid number on the stupid scale.
And I totally hear you on getting too hungry and then stuffing in food like a madwoman. That is definitely one of my issues to work on as well.
Finally, I had a good day! Calories were good, pie chart is balanced, over 30g fiber, and I got plenty of water. Back on track with exercising tomorrow; I think we have low 60s before a cold front comes through next week. Sometimes baby steps are enough
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12-30-2011, 03:00 PM
#174
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Slidell, Louisiana
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I don't mind putting it all out there, I just try not to drag anyone else down with me.
Like I said, it's my own fault for answering the phone. I didn't know the exact number that was calling but I know only one person with that particular area code. He's got a bad habit of calling while he's at work, and they have rolling phone lines, so you never really know which one it will be. I haven't even thought about him the past couple of months. It's been nice to actually focus on me for once, and then out of the blue he calls today. And it's always the same thing...."I miss you" or "Why can't we just make this work?" And it kills me, because it's all the same things I think, when I do allow myself to think about him.
Furthermore, Mike--directing this at you big guy--do men have this sixth sense that tells them when their ex is being flirted with by someone else? Because I SWEAR, that's usually when he calls or texts me. It's uncanny.
It's just frustrating, cause I know better. And I know it's not worth me fretting over, yet here I sit, fretting away. At least I haven't cried this time......there may be hope for me yet. Thanks for allowing me to "dump".
Like I said, it's my own fault for answering the phone. I didn't know the exact number that was calling but I know only one person with that particular area code. He's got a bad habit of calling while he's at work, and they have rolling phone lines, so you never really know which one it will be. I haven't even thought about him the past couple of months. It's been nice to actually focus on me for once, and then out of the blue he calls today. And it's always the same thing...."I miss you" or "Why can't we just make this work?" And it kills me, because it's all the same things I think, when I do allow myself to think about him.
Furthermore, Mike--directing this at you big guy--do men have this sixth sense that tells them when their ex is being flirted with by someone else? Because I SWEAR, that's usually when he calls or texts me. It's uncanny.
It's just frustrating, cause I know better. And I know it's not worth me fretting over, yet here I sit, fretting away. At least I haven't cried this time......there may be hope for me yet. Thanks for allowing me to "dump".
Am I up to speed?
So... you want to know if guys have a 6th sense? I'd say that some probably do. I think I know how people generally act and can predict what someones going to do... in life in general. My GF is shocked how I predict what her friends or coworkers will do just by bits and pieces that she tells me. I wouldn't call it a 6th sense, more like reading people. Maybe he truly does have a 6th sense, or maybe he just knows how people are. Maybe he has someone telling him what's going on.
Forgive me b/c I'm out of Adderall!
The dumper and dumpee:
When it comes to relationships we all know how they play out. This is probably true for women and men. A couple splits, at first they are miserable. Usually one will want it to work out (the one that got dumped). It's hard a stressful for both involved (most of the time).
The friend:
Around this time one or both become "fresh meat", that's when the guy or girl that was always the friend will try to be the one to "comfort" the wounded bird. This person has one motive... to hook up. They are the ones that feel so sorry for you, for how the other person treated you and will put you up on a pedestal (not to say that someone doesn't belong to be there but this person will go out of their way to put you there). They feel like they've waited long enough and their friend is now "fair game".
The final goodbye:
Once the 1st one has totally given up and is ready to move on, the other one will want back in that much more. Once that same 1st one finds out that they are happier without the 2nd one (even though it is hard at first) they start to glow. They become happy, thus attracting other people, b/c happy/fun people are more attractive than miserable people.
12-30-2011, 03:25 PM
#175
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,713
Tori, yeah, some healthy food may help your stomach feel better. You'll get to a good relationship with someone new on your own time. We can offer advice, but we're not inside your skin. You've got a good head on your shoulders. I hope Mr. Flirty Guy turns out to be your Prince Charming. Big hug to ya!
Friday Report
Closing down the kitchen. I was slightly under in carbs and thought I had an all green day, but then I saw I didn't get in all my veggies. Decided the veggies were more important today than the slight carb overage, so ate 8 oz. cucumber to put me slightly OVER in carbs.
Calorie limit 1600 1528, 1645, 1320, 1066, 1321
Carbs less fiber limit 25g per day 26.2g, calling it green at 25.2g, 21.3g, 24.9g. 27.4g
Fiber 25g per day 39g, 17g, 40g, 25g, 25g
Dietary cholesterol average 300mg per day 206mg, 352mg, 91mg (AVERAGE 216mg), 80mg, 204mg
Saturated fat average 12% of total calories per day 14%, 8%, 10%, 9%, Just 3 %--not intentional--just worked out that way from what food appealed to my taste buds today
Veggies 5 servings per day YES YES YES YES YES
Water 48 ounces per day YES YES YES NO YES
Vitamin D, fish oil, and green tea YES YES forgot evening fish oil, YES YES
Exercise 5 days YES, YES, YES, Scheduled Day Off, YES
Sugar free chocolate miniatures limit 2 per day 0, 1, 0, 2, 0
Artificial sweetener 2 packets per day 0, went crazy at 8 or 9, 0, 3, 0
Something wonderful: two people surprised me by taking over my committments to drive grandkids to three different places today.
Friday Report
Closing down the kitchen. I was slightly under in carbs and thought I had an all green day, but then I saw I didn't get in all my veggies. Decided the veggies were more important today than the slight carb overage, so ate 8 oz. cucumber to put me slightly OVER in carbs.
Calorie limit 1600 1528, 1645, 1320, 1066, 1321
Carbs less fiber limit 25g per day 26.2g, calling it green at 25.2g, 21.3g, 24.9g. 27.4g
Fiber 25g per day 39g, 17g, 40g, 25g, 25g
Dietary cholesterol average 300mg per day 206mg, 352mg, 91mg (AVERAGE 216mg), 80mg, 204mg
Saturated fat average 12% of total calories per day 14%, 8%, 10%, 9%, Just 3 %--not intentional--just worked out that way from what food appealed to my taste buds today
Veggies 5 servings per day YES YES YES YES YES
Water 48 ounces per day YES YES YES NO YES
Vitamin D, fish oil, and green tea YES YES forgot evening fish oil, YES YES
Exercise 5 days YES, YES, YES, Scheduled Day Off, YES
Sugar free chocolate miniatures limit 2 per day 0, 1, 0, 2, 0
Artificial sweetener 2 packets per day 0, went crazy at 8 or 9, 0, 3, 0
Something wonderful: two people surprised me by taking over my committments to drive grandkids to three different places today.
Last edited by Mern; 12-30-2011 at 03:28 PM.
12-30-2011, 03:52 PM
#176
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Chesnee, SC
Posts: 1,303
Okay, I think I'm getting caught up to speed now. You and your BF split? You've gone a while without worrying about him, then some other guy flirts with you and now he's calling/texting? You accidentally answered his call b/c you didn't recognize the number?
Am I up to speed?
So... you want to know if guys have a 6th sense? I'd say that some probably do. I think I know how people generally act and can predict what someones going to do... in life in general. My GF is shocked how I predict what her friends or coworkers will do just by bits and pieces that she tells me. I wouldn't call it a 6th sense, more like reading people. Maybe he truly does have a 6th sense, or maybe he just knows how people are. Maybe he has someone telling him what's going on.
Forgive me b/c I'm out of Adderall!
The dumper and dumpee:
When it comes to relationships we all know how they play out. This is probably true for women and men. A couple splits, at first they are miserable. Usually one will want it to work out (the one that got dumped). It's hard a stressful for both involved (most of the time).
The friend:
Around this time one or both become "fresh meat", that's when the guy or girl that was always the friend will try to be the one to "comfort" the wounded bird. This person has one motive... to hook up. They are the ones that feel so sorry for you, for how the other person treated you and will put you up on a pedestal (not to say that someone doesn't belong to be there but this person will go out of their way to put you there). They feel like they've waited long enough and their friend is now "fair game".
The final goodbye:
Once the 1st one has totally given up and is ready to move on, the other one will want back in that much more. Once that same 1st one finds out that they are happier without the 2nd one (even though it is hard at first) they start to glow. They become happy, thus attracting other people, b/c happy/fun people are more attractive than miserable people.
Am I up to speed?
So... you want to know if guys have a 6th sense? I'd say that some probably do. I think I know how people generally act and can predict what someones going to do... in life in general. My GF is shocked how I predict what her friends or coworkers will do just by bits and pieces that she tells me. I wouldn't call it a 6th sense, more like reading people. Maybe he truly does have a 6th sense, or maybe he just knows how people are. Maybe he has someone telling him what's going on.
Forgive me b/c I'm out of Adderall!
The dumper and dumpee:
When it comes to relationships we all know how they play out. This is probably true for women and men. A couple splits, at first they are miserable. Usually one will want it to work out (the one that got dumped). It's hard a stressful for both involved (most of the time).
The friend:
Around this time one or both become "fresh meat", that's when the guy or girl that was always the friend will try to be the one to "comfort" the wounded bird. This person has one motive... to hook up. They are the ones that feel so sorry for you, for how the other person treated you and will put you up on a pedestal (not to say that someone doesn't belong to be there but this person will go out of their way to put you there). They feel like they've waited long enough and their friend is now "fair game".
The final goodbye:
Once the 1st one has totally given up and is ready to move on, the other one will want back in that much more. Once that same 1st one finds out that they are happier without the 2nd one (even though it is hard at first) they start to glow. They become happy, thus attracting other people, b/c happy/fun people are more attractive than miserable people.
You're all caught up now. We technically split 5 years ago, and have been on again off again for the past 2. We go from not speaking at all, to trying to work it out, to not speaking again. We even tried being (gonna say this nicely) friends with benefits for a time. Imagine that not working out.
It just seems like he KNOWS when I've moved on. I know it's not that someone is telling him, he lives over an hour away and doesn't know anyone here but me and my family. It just sucks. At one time I thought he was "the one". I found out the hard way that he wasn't. I haven't seen him in over 4 months, and haven't spoken to him since my birthday in October.
This time he pulled out all the stops. Offered me everything that I ever asked of him. NOW he's open to marriage (his first marriage was horrible and he's always swore he'd never remarry). NOW he's open to having children, when this was something that was never an option. NOW he's offering these things. These were the only things we ever fought over. And it's not that I even wanted the ring, the marriage, or the kids. All I ever asked of him was the possibility of these. Heck, I still don't know if I want them, but I at least want the option.
I've got perspective, and I'm going to be okay. I've had my pity party, I'm moving on. Tomorrow night, I'm flirting....A LOT. Not real sure who I'm gonna be flirting with, but dammit, I'm gonna do it. Maybe friend of friend with whom I've previously flirted......hmmmmm
12-30-2011, 04:06 PM
#177
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Slidell, Louisiana
Posts: 8,232
You're all caught up now. We technically split 5 years ago, and have been on again off again for the past 2. We go from not speaking at all, to trying to work it out, to not speaking again. We even tried being (gonna say this nicely) friends with benefits for a time. Imagine that not working out.
It just seems like he KNOWS when I've moved on. I know it's not that someone is telling him, he lives over an hour away and doesn't know anyone here but me and my family. It just sucks. At one time I thought he was "the one". I found out the hard way that he wasn't. I haven't seen him in over 4 months, and haven't spoken to him since my birthday in October.
This time he pulled out all the stops. Offered me everything that I ever asked of him. NOW he's open to marriage (his first marriage was horrible and he's always swore he'd never remarry). NOW he's open to having children, when this was something that was never an option. NOW he's offering these things. These were the only things we ever fought over. And it's not that I even wanted the ring, the marriage, or the kids. All I ever asked of him was the possibility of these. Heck, I still don't know if I want them, but I at least want the option.
I've got perspective, and I'm going to be okay. I've had my pity party, I'm moving on. Tomorrow night, I'm flirting....A LOT. Not real sure who I'm gonna be flirting with, but dammit, I'm gonna do it. Maybe friend of friend with whom I've previously flirted......hmmmmm
It just seems like he KNOWS when I've moved on. I know it's not that someone is telling him, he lives over an hour away and doesn't know anyone here but me and my family. It just sucks. At one time I thought he was "the one". I found out the hard way that he wasn't. I haven't seen him in over 4 months, and haven't spoken to him since my birthday in October.
This time he pulled out all the stops. Offered me everything that I ever asked of him. NOW he's open to marriage (his first marriage was horrible and he's always swore he'd never remarry). NOW he's open to having children, when this was something that was never an option. NOW he's offering these things. These were the only things we ever fought over. And it's not that I even wanted the ring, the marriage, or the kids. All I ever asked of him was the possibility of these. Heck, I still don't know if I want them, but I at least want the option.
I've got perspective, and I'm going to be okay. I've had my pity party, I'm moving on. Tomorrow night, I'm flirting....A LOT. Not real sure who I'm gonna be flirting with, but dammit, I'm gonna do it. Maybe friend of friend with whom I've previously flirted......hmmmmm
1) How did you find out "the hard way"?
2) Were you truly happy with him and was that the ONLY things y'all fought over?
If the answer is yes, and he's now willing to put that on the table, why not give it a shot? Even if you're not looking for that but just want the option, why not start seeing him again... assuming the answers to #2 are yes.
12-30-2011, 04:42 PM
#178
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,713
Cassie, I'm so glad you had a good day--actually it sounds like a FABULOUS day. Exercise and a mild day tomorrow sound great to turn those baby steps into a full-fledged committment soon. Thanks SO much for your kind words. I'm thinking that I may not even SET a weight loss goal for 2012, because I lost 22 1/2 lbs. in 2011 simply by following the diet and exercise plan my doc and I worked out together for lowering my blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides to the point where meds are not necessary. You are so right--I'm healthier now because of working on those health issues. The weight loss was simply an added bonus of a healthier lifestyle
Because we ate an earlier dinner today I deliberately saved filling, low carb stuff for an evening snack--my comfort food of faux hot oatmeal made of only flaxmeal, low carb protein powder and water. OMG it's yummy and satisfying. I've also found that a huge hunk (like 8 oz. by weight) of crunchy cucumber is good for soothing my need to graze in the evening. I'm going to make a point to note other snacks that are low cal or low carb that are really satisfying--like the last of six small meals that are supposed to be better for us than three large ones.
Thanks SO much for your kind words. I'm thinking that I may not even SET a weight loss goal for 2012, because I lost 22 1/2 lbs. in 2011 simply by following the diet and exercise plan my doc and I worked out together for lowering my blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides to the point where meds are not necessary. You are so right--I'm healthier now because of working on those health issues. The weight loss was simply an added bonus of a healthier lifestyle Because we ate an earlier dinner today I deliberately saved filling, low carb stuff for an evening snack--my comfort food of faux hot oatmeal made of only flaxmeal, low carb protein powder and water. OMG it's yummy and satisfying. I've also found that a huge hunk (like 8 oz. by weight) of crunchy cucumber is good for soothing my need to graze in the evening. I'm going to make a point to note other snacks that are low cal or low carb that are really satisfying--like the last of six small meals that are supposed to be better for us than three large ones.
12-30-2011, 05:04 PM
#179
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Chesnee, SC
Posts: 1,303
Hmmm now that's a horse of a different color. I'm all for moving on.... buuuuut I have a couple questions.
1) How did you find out "the hard way"?
2) Were you truly happy with him and was that the ONLY things y'all fought over?
If the answer is yes, and he's now willing to put that on the table, why not give it a shot? Even if you're not looking for that but just want the option, why not start seeing him again... assuming the answers to #2 are yes.
1) How did you find out "the hard way"?
2) Were you truly happy with him and was that the ONLY things y'all fought over?
If the answer is yes, and he's now willing to put that on the table, why not give it a shot? Even if you're not looking for that but just want the option, why not start seeing him again... assuming the answers to #2 are yes.
#2 is a little more complicated. I was truly happy with him. I loved him whole heartedly and he was my best friend. I think that's what I missed most, initially, when we split....his friendship. We would sit and talk for hours on end about nothing at all, and I never bored of it. I told him up front that I wanted a committed relationship with the possibility of a future, and he said that so did he. A year later he changed his mind. So now he's offering all this just like he's offered it before. So, I think, what the hell, why not give it a try. And just when I get comfortable again, he's also changed his mind again. Why set myself up to get hurt again? Possibly worse than before. And yes, these were the only things we ever fought over. To me there is a huge difference between fighting and having disagreements. Everyone has disagreements from time to time, you work through those. Fights are a whole different ball game, there is no working it out. The problems just fester until it boils over.
I'm not the same woman I was when I met him at 26. I'm more confident now, I'm more independant and I don't "need" him in my life to make it complete. Whether I want, or should I say wanted, him there isn't the point. He wants the me from then, not the me that I am now. I don't need him now, and that bothers him.
It boils down to this....we both want different things from each other and there is soooo much baggage between the two of us, that even if we did wind up together it wouldn't last. (yeah, there's more baggage than what I've just laid out there. things that we've both said we could get past that we probably just said to appease the other) I honestly believe that sometimes we don't get to be with our "true love". That they and their love were only meant to make us who we become. I also believe that our experiences, both good and bad, define us....they make us stronger individuals. So, in a way he's been both the best and worst relationship I've ever had. Now I'm ready to start the next chapter in the book of Tori....whoever winds up there with me is a lucky man. Cause I'm quite the catch
