Who is your biggest saboteur

Old 04-19-2010, 03:22 PM
  #11  
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Does SO mean "significant other"? I'm learning some of the "forum/text talk"

I would say my biggest saboteur other than me is my husband. He doesn't mean to. but a lot of days he will "surprise me" with food. He would bring home things that I love to pig out on that we love to eat together. I didn't want to make him feel bad by not eating it, because I knew he was just doing it as a nice gesture but I felt bad after eating it because I knew I was just hurting myself. So one evening while we were chowing down on wings and baked potato salad I told him how much I appreciated him thinking about me but it would be better if these surprises happened less frequently and if they weren't really surprises. The "bad" food is ok every once in a while, but I need to plan and prepare for them.

He's only brought home food once since I told him this and the time he did he called early in the afternoon to ask if I would be able to "budget" it in in and if I wanted it.

Now, if I could just get him to stop bringing home the wine and simply caramel candy bars...
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Old 04-20-2010, 03:27 PM
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This is the saddest post I have ever read. Do NOT blame your daughter for your lack of willpower. She is six years old. I know its not on purpose, but your negative thoughts on food will likely influence her views on body image, etc as she grows up. My mother was always dieting/restricting food (probably talking about it around me...although i dont really remember). She made it such a focus in her life and I shouldnt be surprised that I'm now doing the same thing. The fact that you said your daughter has the identity of being "the skinniest in the family" tells me that you've already taught her that "skinny" is best. Her weight/figure should be the last thing on her mind at six years old. Sometimes I think people should have to take a test before procreating.
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Old 04-20-2010, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by toolarge View Post
This is the saddest post I have ever read. Do NOT blame your daughter for your lack of willpower. She is six years old. I know its not on purpose, but your negative thoughts on food will likely influence her views on body image, etc as she grows up. My mother was always dieting/restricting food (probably talking about it around me...although i dont really remember). She made it such a focus in her life and I shouldnt be surprised that I'm now doing the same thing. The fact that you said your daughter has the identity of being "the skinniest in the family" tells me that you've already taught her that "skinny" is best. Her weight/figure should be the last thing on her mind at six years old. Sometimes I think people should have to take a test before procreating.
Toolarge-I've known Almeeker for a while now and she never blames anyone else for her choices. I think you projected onto what she wrote, misunderstanding her completely, which is easy to do on forums until we get to know the people here.
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:21 AM
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While it's true that a parent's behaviour creates the template for their child's behaviour, whether it be towards food, other people or themselves, I don't think that's really the point of this thread. I agree with the projection comment, and this is coming from someone who can totally empathise with what it was implying. However, I reckon the use of 'saboteur' is a bit of a harmless idiom in this sense. And sometimes when you're trying really hard to stay motivated, sabotage is kind of what it feels like, no matter how innocent.

My man will probably be the toughest external hurdle to overcome in my efforts to eat healthier. As a couple who live together, we've naturally developed a few (bad) eating habits together. Tim is a pretty lazy eater - an only child who's been fed and pampered and has never needed to think about what to eat or portion control. While I, on the other hand, am very conscious of what I'm eating, but also very susceptible to cravings and eating too much of something that I like. Together we tend to eat too much processed foods in a very unbalanced fashion.

I do most of the supermarket shopping and I don't want to force my new healthy (read: restrictive) shopping list upon Tim. I'm almost tempted to have seperate shopping lists, because I know that while he'll generally turn his nose up at kibbled rye bread and almond milk, he'll just eat them because he won't have bothered to shop for himself. He already eats weird stuff like big bowls of my muesli after dinner for a snack if there aren't snackfoods left in the pantry & he'll drink all the milk if he runs out of softdrink, leaving none for the morning. It's pretty frustrating.

On the same token, I don't want to be the crazy girlfriend who's like, "this is my shelf of the fridge & this is your shelf." Or who labels everything with "hands off fatty!" like my mum used to.

Reading this, I think maybe I'll simply have to suck it up and take the hard line with him or it just won't work, even if it does mean feeling like the soup nazi out of Seinfeld!

What do you guys think I ought to do about it???
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Old 11-12-2010, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by desertmountain View Post
Toolarge-I've known Almeeker for a while now and she never blames anyone else for her choices. I think you projected onto what she wrote, misunderstanding her completely, which is easy to do on forums until we get to know the people here.
Exceptionally well said desertmountain. The book you mentioned in your earlier post is going on my Christmas list. My biggest saboteur has to be my husband. He figures I should be able to resist whenever he bring home junk food or fast food if I'm on this new healthy eating life change thing. The most sabotaging though is the "No I don't see a change in you," even though I'm 30 lbs smaller. Some days the man is dense. LOL Thanks for letting me vent, I feel better for just having typed that.

We do pass on more information to our children than we ever thought. When my DD was eight she complained her jeans were too tight and said that she thought she should eat less. Yes the alarm bells went off in my head as if a nuclear strike were about to occur, full DEFCON 3 status. I calmly explained to her that the reason I was overweight is because I thought just that and nearly starved myself resulting in thyroid medication for the rest of my life, after finally being diagnosed properly. I told her that if she feels like her jeans are too snug, she needs to look at the size since she is so young her bone structure is still growing and that if she really truly feels she is eating too much that she should run around more at recess instead of eating too little and being hungry. So far it seems to be working. She is healthy and strong and about to turn 12. She still likes how she looks which can be a huge challenge at this age and in the next few years.

Sorry for rambling on, but I wanted to share what worked for in case it might help someone else.

Have a wonderful and healthy weekend everyone!
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Old 11-15-2010, 03:33 PM
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My biggest obstacle (other than myself of course) would also be my husband. He doesn't eat well at all but he can get bored while eating and just stop, plus he never gains weight.

So of course when I go grocery shopping it's almost always junk food, like last night for instance. We are at home watching football and he says he had a sweet tooth. I purposely didn't buy any sweets, so I made him a pan of brownies..

Then I ate one.. ugh...
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Old 11-15-2010, 03:50 PM
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My biggest saboteur is myself. Did you ever hear of the fear of being thin? I swear that it is as real and as tangible as the fear of being fat. I'm a little shy. I don't mind attention but I like it to be on my own terms. I never have needed external support to do much of anything. I'm very self-motivated.

A huge problem for me is when I get to the point where people start to notice. I honestly have trouble dealing with people at work who come up to me and ask me if I'm losing or to compliment me. I don't like the attention. Being overweight sort of provides a sense of invisibility and to some extent less accountability.

Being a healthier weight requires accountability which I have no trouble with but with change comes all the hoopla of peanut gallery of life. I have people at work saying you look great and my family asking me if I'm ill. LOL It's annoying.

I'm still going to lose. Somewhere along the line, I suppose(hope) the comments will stop and I will be left in peace again. LOL
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Old 11-16-2010, 06:43 PM
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This is not a slight against anyone in any shape or form: I only have myself to blame. Nobody forces anything down my throat. As far as I am concerned, if I say no to drugs, I should be able to say no to food...granted we have to eat but I have to be accountable for my own actions.

A friend of mine, was blamed by a deceased friend's mother, for his death. She accused my friend of daring to invite him over when there was alcohol in her house. First of all, he died of heart failure...secondly, no one asked him to raid her cabinets and drink...thirdly, what pressure and guilt my friend felt, actually questionning herself.

The only saboteur is me...and Halloween I have found that if I want something badly enough I will eat it...even if we empty the cupboards of goodies, it is amazing what you will eat when you have a craving.

Have a good saboteur-free night!
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:30 PM
  #19  
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I blame my son for 90 percent of my "oops, I screwed up again". He just moved back home (again) and he doesn't have a very good diet. I do very well shopping, but then he goes shopping and the crap he buys stares me down and I give in. Why is it that when we can't have something, we want it more?
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Old 11-17-2010, 09:08 PM
  #20  
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Originally Posted by toolarge View Post
This is the saddest post I have ever read. Do NOT blame your daughter for your lack of willpower. She is six years old. I know its not on purpose, but your negative thoughts on food will likely influence her views on body image, etc as she grows up. My mother was always dieting/restricting food (probably talking about it around me...although i dont really remember). She made it such a focus in her life and I shouldnt be surprised that I'm now doing the same thing. The fact that you said your daughter has the identity of being "the skinniest in the family" tells me that you've already taught her that "skinny" is best. Her weight/figure should be the last thing on her mind at six years old. Sometimes I think people should have to take a test before procreating.
I agree with desertmountain... toolarge totally misinterpreted what Almeeker said. Almeeker likely doesn't have a clue who I am, but I have read tons of her posts since June and I know she wasn't blaming her daughter.
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