ToriD1012

The only thing I can think that has me distracted is WHN not being here. Shuffling time between his house and Momma&Daddy's hasn't helped anything and work has been crazy stupid hectic lately. I was ready to just walk out this past Friday. Had gone as far as taking my work keys of my key ring and was going to hand them to my manager on the way out the door. Cooler heads prevailed and I stayed put. Pretty sad when WHN is calling from Germany to calm me down, but it worked! If I can just make it through the next 95 days until he's home I know that I'll be a much calmer, less distracted Tori. I'll throw this in white so I don't gag Mike. I've been in love before, but never to this degree. It's never been SO right, so quickly. He's the one I've waited 35 years to find, and he had to leave so soon after we met. He knows my flaws, bad habits, and insecurities and he's okay with them. I've never had someone not try to change me. He tells me every day that I'm perfect as is. So yeah, I'm thinking that's why I'm distracted. I'm busy counting days and weeks until he's home. And when I'm not counting days and weeks, I'm talking to him. Or wishing that I could talk to him. Luckily the 6 hour time difference works out in our favor. When he's at lunch I'm getting up for the day, so there's usually a quick message. When I'm at lunch, he's just getting in from work so we talk then. When I'm getting ready for bed, he's getting up to start the next day. Sundays are Skype days and Wednesdays are phone calls, unless he has 24 hour duty. I pretty much plan my week around those days. I'm much calmer when I get to talk to him. The sound of his voice puts me in a zen type of place. I have had days when all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry. Which isn't like me at all....I'm not a crier. My SIL said that in the 20 years she's known me she's never seen me cry as much. She also said she was going to thank him when he gets back home for finally breaking down the wall I had put up to stop anyone from hurting me. I don't like being vulnerable or feeling alone. I've never had a problem being alone, but now I do. It's an adjustment. It's just taking me a while to be okay with it.

Well, didn't realize I had all that to say

nobe

Wednesday weigh-in: 169.5 (-2)

April - we went through a whole custody battle a couple of years ago. I didn't want the kids because I had a new baby that I wanted to concentrate on, and I hadn't even met them at that point. When I met them I really didn't want them. In the end, their mom told a bunch of lies, the kids told a bunch of lies, and nothing happened (except a $15,000 debt). To be honest, I would probably leave if they were here permanently. It's too stressful when they're here, I feel unwelcome in my house, and they're a bad influence on my son. Also, hubby just doesn't have the parenting skills to deal with them. It isn't helping them to let them lie around watching tv all day, and do their chores for them when they don't do them. There's no consequences for anything they do, and they're walking all over him. I personally think they need to be in some kind of care home (that probably doesn't exist) where they can be raised by professionals who know how to "fix" them.

wildbeanerz

Wow Tori... That's "all" Huh? Sounds like quite a bit to me. I wish I was there to give ya a big hug. It is hard when you find that one that makes you feel like that when for so long you hadn't let anyone in. You just waited 20 yrs longer than I did to find him.

Nobe ... Sadly that place probably doesn't exist for the kids. I wonder what it will take for their mother to realize what she is creating?

nobe

I don't think their mom cares. She has an older son that she did the same thing to (but he had the added bonus of being constantly told he ruined her life because she was a teen mom). He ended up homeless and on drugs and in and out of jail. He's 23 now and it sounds like he's finally straightening up...he has a job, at least. He confronted her about how she treated him, and she just told him to get the f out of her life.

All she cares about herself and what she can get out of people, and she's raising these kids to be just like her, except they don't even care about themselves. They don't care about anything.

Mern

Nobe, kudos on the pre-logging. I kept my promise to resume logging today. Just curious--did you ever ask DH if he's lax with the kids' discipline because of wanting the cool fun buddy dad? When I came out and suggested that to my DH, he gave my idea some thought and things started to change for the better. I always use my shampoo (but mine's the cheap stuff) for shaving cream. Congrats on your goal achievements.

Cate, good job on being mindful of your blood sugar. I can't eat rice at all, but I am able to eat Dreamfields pasta available in the USA which is processed in a way tht it comes out with only 5 "digestible carbs" (that's what they call it) per serving and I found it doesn't impact my blood sugar. However, I also limit myself to just 1/2 serving since I can eat only 25g carbs in an entire day to keep my blood sugar normal without using meds. I tried to do 20g or less, but am not disciplined enough. I have a fasting blood glucose test and A1C done every 3 months. For my other grains I eat textured vegetable protein and flaxmeal and the bit that's in my half of a high fiber, low carb tortilla per day. You were really close on your calories Tuesday, so I'm gonna say "Well done!" even though you put your 1437 in red.

Judi, welcome. People can jump in any day here. You probably already know we start a new thread every Monday. I, too, had used FitDay for many years before noticing the forum button. LOL Kudos on being back in the 100's. I wanna be like YOU when I "grow up." Yard work burns a lot of calories--kudos on that and your other exercise. On the mind-reading--I tend to do that, but I'm usually right about the numbskulls on whom I use that tactic. LOL

Tori, congrats on your exercise.

Ama, I cracked up laughing really loudly over your suggestion to Nobe about switching the shampoos. Nice job on your goals yesterday.

Hope, so glad to see you checking in today with a more positive outlook. Best wishes on the party with DD's better friends.

April, fabulous job on your goals yesterday. So fun to read that you're getting the compliments you deserve. I'm fine, thanks for asking. I guess it was just the arthritis in my shoulder waking me up for a couple nights--not excruciating--just enough to wake me if I rolled over on it and I was too lazy to get up to take some over-the-counter pain meds. I slept pretty well last night, though.

Perfectparanoia, nice job on your goals! One time I joked that I was astounded to find I had a kitchen table underneath all the mess in the kitchen. I couldn't tell from the puzzled look on my friend's face if she didn't understand my joke or if she was repulsed that my house was so messy. LOL

amalthea1892

Nobe – Those poor kids (I know they are rotten, but I still have sympathy for them because of that horrible Momster they are stuck with)! Maybe the resentment toward your family is because their Dad is happily married now and has a new son, and they are stuck living with a crazy person who cares so little about their welfare. I don’t blame you at all for not wanting them to live with you. I hope later in life, after they grow up and live on their own, that they try to create some positive bonds with their Dad and you. For now it seems like ya’ll are trying so hard just to get through each day… I’m so sorry that you have to suffer through that…. Big hug to you! BTW – doesn’t child support end at age 18? Not that ya’ll wouldn’t help them out but at least it wouldn’t be channeled through their Mom first…

traceymc1985

Hi everyone- welcome to new members and hope we are all doing good this week. Im planning the weekend already- hoping i get out and get some exercise.
Guess what....i decided to go to the gym this morning after bringing kids to school- first time ever on my own and i enjoyed it. Going to try and keep it up- no excuses when its only a 15minute walk away from my house and just 5 mins away from school.
I didnt do loads and was far from an athlete but ive got to start somewhere. Felt a bit dishaertened that i struggled to do the weights. I feel like ive lost muscle strength lately. Things feel heavier and ache much faster than they used to.

quinnesec

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! I'm so lost! Ok... so I know CN is out of the picture, but where did this new one come from?? lol Must have been while I was away! Fill me in... I want details, I tell you! Details! LOL

Mern

Tracey, congratulations on going to the gym! Must have been wonderful to be able to do that with the little ones at school--plus you had the added benefit of the walk to get there. It's perfectly OK to take baby steps to reach your exercise goal.

Hi, Quinn. How are things going with your Mom?

I'm well on track today and earned a day off exercise tomorrow.

quinnesec

Things are ok... thanks for asking. I'm 3 hours away so I'm doing some commuting. But, the truth is that she's not getting the attention there that we gave her here and she's feeling lonely. So, I get some sad calls, but there's really no other solution at this point. There's no available assisted living available around me at the moment, so it's the best we can do.