Lizards13

Cassie. Thanks for the ideas, I haven't tried melatonin but if you think it might help I will try most things. I do jot down things that come into my head but mostly to do lists not so much things that are worrying me. Maybe I should put it all down even the darkest thoughts. Funnily enough I did buy a friend some audio books when she was having problems sleeping, I even bought her a pillow that has a tiny speaker in it so you can listen even if it's on low, maybe I should ask to borrow them.
I'm not by nature a great worrier but I seem to be getting worse as I get older, mostly at night but also when driving although turning the radio up helps then. My BF loves to cycle and walk and likes us to go out together when we get a chance but he is someone who strides out or cycles in front and I tried to explain that this just gives me too much time to think about things and it depresses me, I need to be able to talk to someone, is that weird?

Made a delicious egg salad for lunch today with a glorious fat free dressing that my sister
uses as its gluten free, it's Thai chilli and has a lovely kick to it. Think I'll have another tomorrow.

Tonight I am going to soak in a bubbly bath and try to settle down early and not play any DS games before bed.

Lizards13

It's like good cop bad cop only it's good eating day, bad eating day and guess what today was. I started off ok but by lunchtime I'd succumbed to a creme egg that my assistant had given me for Easter ( it sat under a cute knitted bunny). Then one of my guys brought in choc cupcakes so I had one of those. I was due to go out to dinner with a friend but she cried off as she was ill so I came home and just grazed all evening on rubbish. I couldn't be bothered to cook a meal so it was snacks all the way.
Holiday weekend coming up and the weather here is very cold but I am determined to get out and get some fresh air, my sis is having all the family for Easter Sunday dinner and I was going to buy dessert but I think I'll actually bake something. I used to bake lots of cakes and pies but haven't put my pinny on in ages, time to get out the cake tins and rock the kitchen again I think.

Lizards13

Good start to the day and came home early from work. I am freezing so it made me start in on some housework to warm me up, activity is good. I'm planning to have pizza this evening but only a couple of slices with a large green salad. Sitting in my kitchen is a luxury Easter egg given to me as a present and I intend to ration it out as a treat if I have been good for the rest of the day.
Somehow I have injured my knee, I don't remember doing it but just above the patella is very painful, I can't kneel on it and if I knock it against anything it hurts like hell. I'm going to do some Wii sports later so I hope it hold up.

Lizards13

I'm up and about and stood on the scales which gave me a nasty shock. 153 showed up on the dial, now I know that I haven't been brilliant these past few days but I haven't been really bad either so what's going on? I'm going to try not to think about it too much as that could go either way, binge or starve and the mood I'm in at the moment and the fact that I hav so much chocolate in the house I know which way it would be.
My cat has just seen chicks on the TV and he is right up at the screen trying to catch them...hilarious. I'm off to give the bathroom the once over. This evening I will let you all know what I ate today so hopefully that will keep me focused.
I just counted up the past few days- I know, it's a bit late now . Thurs was 1216 and yesterday was 1726, that's a lot and 300 or so was wine and 250 was chocolate, what can I say.

Lizards13

Total for today is 1506. Still more than I'd like but again it's the treats that are pushing it up. Why am I having treats? OK, it's Easter, it's the weekend, I'm lonely, not great excuses I know.
I loved the Gilmore Girls and I really wanted to be Lorelei, to wear the clothes she wore and have that type of relationship with my children then I saw Parenthood and realised that I am actually Sarah, my style was the same, the overcompensating to try to connect with my kids as a single parent. So if only I looked like Lauren Graham I would be happy.
Sorry to all of you who don't know these characters, you dont know what you're missing lol.

Lizards13

Been out and cleaned the car and I'm starting on my bedroom next.

Off to my sisters today for Easter Sunday lunch with the family, there will be around 10 of us and I am bringing the starters and a dessert. Mains will be Leg of Lamb and chicken.
I love going to my sisters house, she has the most beautiful sun room that looks out onto her wonderful garden, I could spend my life in that room I think.

Went shopping with mum yesterday and I bought a dress. I'm a trousers person but I do have a few dresses for special occasions however they are all winters ones and I need a summer one for a cocktail party at work in june, nothing fancy but still it has to be a dress.
This one is red with a sort of black lace effect panel down each side, cotton and sleeveless so I'll need a shrug. Next problem will be shoes, I'm a boots kinda gal and I'm not much into heels but I should be able to get away with sandals.
I was thinking this morning of how my eating habits have changed, I know I haven't been mega good recently but in the past on Easter I know I could easily have started eating some chocolate egg with my breakfast or at least with my mid morning cuppa on the excuse that it was the holidays. Now that sounds mad to me and even though I will have some later this evening, I am breaking it up and only having a small piece each evening, before I would have eaten half the egg or more in one sitting and then went out and bought another because Easter wasn't over........... Progress.

Have a wonderful Sunday whatever you have planned to do.

Lizards13

Had a lovely day yesterday and enjoyed my meal without overeating, no wine as I was driving and one small piece of limocello gateaux with no extra cream. Today I have been spring cleaning and it looks like the sun is coming out so hopefully I will get out into the garden for an hour or so. I finished my Teaching English as a Foreign Language course and am waiting to download my certificate. I don't think I will ever use it for work but it was something I have always wanted to do so now I can tick it off my bucket list.
Last year I ticked off a few, visit Las Vegas and San Francisco, go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, drink wine in the Napa Valley. A lot of the things on my list are places I want to see, others are achievements, like being fluent in another language or losing weight and some are just fun like appearing in a movie. My number one at the moment is to get to a weight where I feel happiest and healthiest and I guess that's why I'm on here.

Lizards13

Beautiful morning and I'm still on days off. Have a few places to go this morning and then it's garden time. Looking in the fridge this morning I see a lot of nibbles that need to be used up, thankfully I chose fairly healthy ones so tonight's main meal will be appetisers and then tomorrow I have GOT to get it together as those scales are registering almost 6 lbs more that the lowest I reached last year. It would be so easy for it to creep right back up again so I must knuckle down and focus. It's good to relax occasionally and have a treat but recently the treats are becoming more frequent and instead of a choc or a glass of wine it's 2 or 3. DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

Lizards13

Back at work and the whole computer system is down, a very frustrating day. Fridge is almost empty of no no foods, bought some more fruit today for lunch and am starting to feel better already. My mum has just phoned and asked me to call in, she cannot hear well enough to carry out a conversation over the phone so I don't know what is wrong. Need to go and see if she is ok, catch you later.

Lizards13

Panic over, Mum had gotten it into her head that there is something wrong with my sister. she has been having problems with an abcess on a crowned tooth and had been told today that they cannot save the root and she will have to have a plate fitted. She had called to se Mum afterwards and was visibly upset so mother thought she was hiding something worse. I know it doesnt seem like such a big deal but my sister has always lacked confidence and looking after her appearance has helped with that so this will annoy her greatly. I hate it when any of my family are hurting or upset.