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Old 01-15-2012, 06:48 PM   #241 (permalink)
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A bit late to the party: Mike, my 2cents worth: DH (of 25 years) and I have always kept separate accounts and it has worked very well for us. Like you, we divvy up the household expenses. And then discuss who and how we will cover the big expenses (like Humphrey kitty's hospitalization). It has worked well for us as Cassie pointed out finances are one of the top 3 sources of friction in relationships. Not that there are occassional things that come up, but as long has he holds up his end of the household costs, whatever else he does with his money is fine by me.

A second thought is a 2nd Anne Landerism: No one can take advantage of you without your permission. While you seem quite able to make your thoughts and concerns know to GF, over the last year or so reading your comments, I am not sure that GF is as skilled. Certainly the "nothing" responses you get when you ask her what's wrong is indicative of that. Perhaps you can help her learn (and learn to trust) to express herself better.

DH has had to learn to bring up things that are bothering him sooner rather than later. When he trys to ignore them, or is worried about hurting my feelings if he expresses them, he stews and the worries fester into something out of proportion of their true value.

I really can't speak to the children issue, but I have to agree with the wise women here... your kids have to come first.

Good luck in getting things settledd with your GF. And as all have said before, rants and raves are what we are here for .
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:53 PM   #242 (permalink)
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In other news, I couldn't keep up with the logging while at my meeting, but a rough estimate indicates things were pretty good. Didn't hit the pastrys at the coffee breaks and ate healthy meals for lunch and dinner. I did have a glass or 2 more wine than I should have at the receptions, mostly out habit and a bit of nervousness (they don't call it liquid courage for nothin'), but nothing too bad.
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:59 PM   #243 (permalink)
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Pam, glad you navigated the conference successfully! I hope it was enjoyable both professionally and socially.

So far I'm having a great day. My son bagged his first tournament win in 16s and we're home in time to watch the second half of the Ravens game. Got my food all planned out, feeling strong and healthy, and ready to keep chugging along and being productive. Hope y'all are having a wonderful weekend!
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:04 PM   #244 (permalink)
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Pam, glad you navigated the conference successfully! I hope it was enjoyable both professionally and socially.

So far I'm having a great day. My son bagged his first tournament win in 16s and we're home in time to watch the second half of the Ravens game. Got my food all planned out, feeling strong and healthy, and ready to keep chugging along and being productive. Hope y'all are having a wonderful weekend!
Hey, big congrats to your son... and his proud parents!

We got our new year's gift with the Patriots last night. I felt just the teensyist bit sorry for Denver
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:11 PM   #245 (permalink)
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Check in time for this week's goals.....a very mixed bag. Don't think the scales will be kind tomorrow.

1. Log everything and stay below 1200 cals N Y Y N N Y N
2. 30 mins ex at least 5 days Y N Y N N Y Y
3. Eat more vegetables and less carbs Y Y N N N N N
4. Only 1 chocolate (my kiss) per day Y Y Y Y N N N
5. Wine only on weekend Y Y Y Y

General

1 Phone my insurance company to get my engagement ring added. Y
2 Log on to start my online course in TEFL N
3. Start researching a holiday in France for the extended family Y
4. Clear out the bedside drawers of all the rubbish that I've collected Y
5. Throw out my large collection of old bras in various sizes that really don't fit anymore N



.
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Old 01-15-2012, 08:21 PM   #246 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RunbikeSki View Post
No one can take advantage of you without your permission.
I really appreciate your feedback. This is why I say I felt like she was taking advantage of me... (I hate putting this out there but it is what it is) Three years ago I got a DWI. (I am one of the very few that took that hard lesson to heart. Because I didn't like staying the night in jail or risking an innocent persons life I decided it was best to just quit drinking.) I have had a few drinks when I went to my brothers house in Virginia but I knew there would be no reason to be driving. At home anything can happen, one of the chirrens gets hurt and I have to rush them to the hospital, whatever, so I will not risk putting myself or anyone else in that situation. I'm now the designated driver for anyone that needs one.

I plead guilty under article 893 (Louisiana Expungement) but found out that it's almost another $1k just for them to do the paperwork, so I didn't. What that means is unless my insurance company randomly runs my DMV record (which they won't unless I buy a new policy, either my current one lapses and I end up getting a new one... or I buy a motorcycle)

My GF was WELL AWARE of this, especially since she was with me the night I got carted off. Before they came on my policy, we had the discussion that she HAD to pay for her part of it. When she stopped paying, it forced me to pay it b/c I could not risk the policy lapsing. To put her and her DD on my policy we had to have both vehicle re-registered, adding my name to the registration.

My conversation yesterday with my GF was that she needs to go look elsewhere for car insurance, once she does, we'll have to re-register them again, this time without me on them.

I wouldn't quite say she had my permission or I let her take advantage of me. I was caught between a rock and a hard place and to save my ass I had to eat the bill... and she knew it.

Last edited by 01gt4.6; 01-15-2012 at 08:23 PM.
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Old 01-15-2012, 08:33 PM   #247 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Sounds scenic and maybe like trails and a park? Are you in either Columbus or Augusta? Have fun, wherever you are . We just came in; it's nice in the sun but by no means what I consider warm!
We're in Augusta. And having a lovely time. It is a little chilly out, but nothing a sweatshirt can't fix. I had a few minutes to kill while he's been on the phone with his CO (for the past 30 minutes...there's been a lot of "yes sir"s and "no sirs"s), so I thought I'd better go ahead and log my food before I forget.

Congrats on the tourney!!
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Old 01-15-2012, 09:29 PM   #248 (permalink)
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Fit4luv I hope you get well soon, I have been fighting my cold for over a week it just wonít let go.

Mike Thanks for the wonderful words of encouragement. I am here and I just wrote off the last 2 days I have been logging my food today and so far I have made good choices. I did some research until all hours of the morning after I posted and talked to a friend at church today and I am feeling (not just saying) a little more positive.

Vito My moms favorite was I didnít spend all afternoon cooking so you could just waste food stop playing with it and eat or my favorite you donít know how lucky you are to have food sitting in front of you.

Mary I hope you get some skiing in, its snowing here for the first time this year I would gladly will it back your way.

Lizzie Thanks! I am glad I posted even though I didnít want to it has helped how I feel today.

Tori Enjoy your afternoon.

Pam Good to hear you ate well at your conference and hey wine is high in antioxidants.

Cassie Glad you are enjoying your day.

I am going to try to take Cassieís advice and pamper myself without food today. I hope you all have a great day.
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"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves."
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Jan 2008=195 lbs
Nov 2009=135 lbs
July 2011=169 lbs
Jan 27 2012=143
Jan 25 2013=168
Mar 15 2013=158
Goal=140, June 17,2013
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Old 01-15-2012, 09:59 PM   #249 (permalink)
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Darlene, that's great to hear. Just have faith it will all work out and if you have a long road ahead of you, you won't be going it alone!
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:55 PM   #250 (permalink)
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Mike I have been searching info and faq sites and I found a great post by a lady and its going to be motto this week.

I have a lump in my breast, 40% of women will find lumps in their breasts, 85% of them will be benign. I have never been in the top 15% of anything here's hoping my streak continues. Author unknown.

It may seem a little dark but I liked it and it made me grin for the first time in a couple days.
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Blessings,
Darlene

"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves."
Thomas Edison

Jan 2008=195 lbs
Nov 2009=135 lbs
July 2011=169 lbs
Jan 27 2012=143
Jan 25 2013=168
Mar 15 2013=158
Goal=140, June 17,2013
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