Smallblkskirt

Freedom from self loathing, depression, and this blanket of fat I call my bestfriend/worst enemy.
I have journeyed down this road so many times, suceeded sometimes failed other times. I lie to myself over and over again. Bottom line is I'm never going to be happy until I care about myself, but, how can I when I hate to look at the truth. Self sabotage, wishing and hoping I will do well. I'm in control not anyone else so, why is it so hard.
I looked in the mirror and saw my flabby skin the big hips fat stomach and wanted to just scream "How did I get HERE again!" My face I always thought was pretty but, now a 2nd chin "Are you f'ing kidding me"
No, this is what hating yourself has created, if I continue this path, I will always
feel like crap, no self esteem. So, today I journey again to make the inside and outside beautiful. Not just heal the damage "Mcdonalds mocha frappes" has done to my body, but, learn to love me because I have a good heart, I'm a loyal friend, faithful partner and I love others like they're my kin. Now, it's time to love me.

almeeker

Often the hardest promises to keep are those you make to yourself...

So how much do you weigh, how tall are you, how old are you, what's your daily calorie intake and how much do you exercise? We're um blunt and totally honest on this site and believe me it's very refreshing. So come clean, tell us your story and we'll support you on your bad days and cheer for you on the good ones.

cjohnson728

...and embarking on this journey with the right motivation. Thanks for sharing, and you will find that FitDay has excellent tools and great support. Good luck to you!

Shell250

I can relate to all that is said. It is not easy, I think pretty much everyone on this site will agree. It is a deeply personal struggle and something we have to do for ourselves; nobody can do this for us. Look at all the success stories here, people have lost some serious amounts of weight! And if they can do it, so can we!

The bottom line for me is that I have realized that I care enough about myself to want to become healthy. Eating right and moving more is the start, weight loss is the side effect.

All the best, hang in there.

gallusgal

Hi smllblkskirt, nice to meet you. As others have said, I think that here, we have all experienced most of the things you have expressed here. You said you have lied to yourself, and I can certainly relate to that. I lied to myself too, about the foods I was eating, the reasons why, the damage that was being done and just how fat and miserable I had actually become.

The fact that you are being honest with yourself and posted your true feelings here is a huge step. This is working for me and for many others on here. I can't diet, I won't say I am on a diet because that would give me the overwhelming urge to 'cheat'.The reality is, the only person I would be cheating is myself, of the chance to be happier and healthier.

Being accountable to myself first and foremost, is working for me. Also the support of the lovely people here on Fitday who are all in the same boat makes a huge difference.

Good luck with your journey, I hope it is a happy one. I for one can say I am thoroughly enjoying mine!

Lizzycritter

That is exactly the right attitude to have

nrh322

Wow....not quite deja vu, but something awfully close. Reading what you wrote here was almost as though someone had managed to grab thoughts straight out of my head! Welcome to the club, smallblkskirt...I'm new here too....others aren't....but you're most certainly NOT alone!

Best wishes, Naomi

ceekaytaylor

This is the start of my journey as well...hoping it will work. Turning 33 in a couple of weeks and want my kids to think I'm beautiful...instead of being embarassed by me! Hoping that being honest with myself will keep me on the right path! 5 foot 3 and 152 lbs...hoping to drop 27 pounds by the end of September.