7-Day Motivational Thread Starting 5/23/11 and ending 5/29/11
 

Good morning, everyone. Wishing everyone a successful and productive week.

Main80, I either read on the Internet or saw on TV last week that if we can't find time to exercise 30 minutes, it's OK to do three 10 minute intervals. I'd rather get it over with in one stretch, but 10 minute intervals are better than no exercise at all.

This week's goals:

Calories 1600
Calorie deficit 800 per day
Carbs less fiber 25g
Track grams of protein


Artificial sweetener limit 1 packet per day
Sugar free candy limit 2 pieces per day

Water 64 oz.
Exercise 30 minutes, 5 days--no lame excuses

Thanks, Mern, for getting us going this week. I did poorly over the weekend; I was very busy and productive, but my eating suffered and I rebounded into a really bad state of affairs. I'm going back into recovery mode and putting out some strict and specific goals for this week.

1. Calorie limit of 1300/day, one day exception.
2. Drink 64 oz. water daily.
3. Exercise 7 times.
4. Sleep 7 hours a night.
5. Journal situation and mood and related thoughts while eating.

6. Get teacher cards and gifts sent out.
7. Choose end of year gift for the boy.
8. Second coat doors in office.
9. Family room trim done by end of weekend.
10. Smile more, bitch less ;).

Hope you all are doing well and off to a good start this week :).

Good Morning!

As I've previously posted, I'm ashamed to say that I have a 5 lb. weight gain from a month ago. So, maintenance is out and weight loss mode is back. Did very well on my exercise goals this weekend; a 4 mile hike Saturday and two 2 mile hikes Sunday. (Had to get them in between thunderstorms.) It's going to be tough to be disciplined as my husband has the week off and we've been a bad influence on each other, food wise, lately.

Back To Discipline:
Food and Fitness

1200 calories/day
Walk each day hubby is home this week (minimum 3 miles/day)
LOG EVERYTHING!
Take multivitamin, flax and vitamin E daily

Personal Baggage:

Don't let daughter push my buttons as she stresses during finals week
Don't let hubby talk me into multiple restaurant visits while he's home

Hi everyone,

Coming in with a lot of shame this morning. I think I might need a little confessional and to get some things off of my chest.

This weekend I was nothing less than a slug. I kept up my healthy eating (by now it's a habit to have low-calorie and pretty well-proportioned days) but I was either on the couch or the computer the whole time. No gym, and I didn't even come here to report. And I felt terrible. I also had this weird anxiety that I couldn't place, so I thought long and hard about it last night. I realized this same thing happened when I was approaching 200 lbs., my first big milestone to get below, and now I'm approaching 180 (weighed in at 180.8 this morning), which is my obese-to-overweight milestone. And the weird thing is, I'm SCARED of that milestone (just like the 200 milestone, though this one is more intense).

At first I was happy to be approaching it, but now for some reason it looms as much as it tempts. I think the thing boils down to the fact that... I have not been a non-obese person in quite a long time - since high school or freshman year of college - and I think I'm scared of getting there. It's a really strange feeling, and I'm running into self-sabotage. I think I'm scared of losing the weight and still not feeling good about myself. And I know that the self-confidence I'm searching for has to do with MORE than losing weight - it has to do with job performance, relationships, etc. - but it's like losing the weight gives me one less thing to hide behind when I get that urge to disappear!

It's a strange realization to come to. My mind tells me that being healthy will make everything easier, but my stomach is twisted in knots. I think all I can do is accept it eventually, talk about it, and not let it beat me. I'm not sick this week now, and I can either be afraid or DO something about it. So I'm trying to write this down in the hopes that it will help some of it purge (it's not easy, this post has taken me like half an hour lol) and to continue accountability, because I think sometimes it's the only thing keeping me going.

So I do have goals this week. I think the most important ones will be the exercise goals, because they are ACTIVE goals (eating feels more passive to me, though I know it takes effort) and it will mean more to me to be active in keeping myself going even through all this unexpected trepidation.

Food, Exercise, Lifestyle Goals
1) Achieve a 7,000 calorie deficit through a combination of eating and exercise
2) Do not skip exercise two days in a row
3) At least 120 oz. of water daily
4) Weekly carb average of 50% or less
5) Weekly protein average of 30% or more
6) Do not eat out more than twice for lunch and twice for dinner

Other Life Stuff
1) Research Memorial Day deals - buying our first washer/dryer this Memorial Day weekend!!
2) Make an effort on my appearance every day
3) Journal or talk about my anxiety. Don't self-sabotage.
4) Read articles every day. Come up with summer research plan.

Health & Fitness
1) eat clean for 6 days
2) average 20% or less in carbs for the week (Will report at the end of the week. Cheat day can't be too bad to do this!)
3) drink a gallon of water a day
4) take daily:
vitamin
fish oil
glucosamine
5) 2000 cals deficient for the week
6) floss 7x
7) Lifting workouts 3x
8) cardio 3x
9) log food every day

Terri,
Good luck pushing through it. I can't say that I understand the mindset that you are in, but hope that you get through it without issues. Many times personal issues such as relationships and job performance ARE related to our weight, health and well being, so don't think of it as one less thing to hide behind!

Quinn, you and I are singing the same song this week. Good luck getting through finals. I know things get touchy! Mine has his last two today, which should provide a dramatic decrease in the stress level in the house! I have one restaurant on the docket; we're going out to celebrate the successful end of middle school and I think the choice is one of those Brazilian steakhouse places. However, it's not till the weekend, so I have several days to get back into recovery mode. Eating well can be very hard or very easy when my husband works out of town, so hopefully it will be the latter this week.

Terri, I think you earned a weekend of being a slug! Maybe your body was telling you it needed to recover, still, and maybe also that it needed to devote some energy to the mental gymnastics you're going through. I think you're doing exactly the right thing by writing it down. I find I do better when I type things into the journal on this site; you would think I would do it more often. You'll figure it out, get past it, then crank on down to the 170 decade :).

Mike, happy Low Carb Monday to you! Hope you had a good weekend and are doing well.

Cassie,
I did have a great weekend, thanks. I invited over some friends and had a big crawfish boil/ cook out. I was shocked that my scale came down a tad after eating all the crawfish. I'm sure I took in enough sodium to last me a month. Oh, almeeker posted a thread in the success area about posting up prgress pics. Tag, your next!:D

Cassie,

It kind of occurred to me that other years that I had lost weight prior to summer, I got sloppy with my eating habits around June. Now, it seems easy to see why. I just have to keep focused and not let a bad day turn into a bad month... or 2 or 3... ;)

Terri,

Although Cassie can provide a much more professional view, from a mom's standpoint, it sounds like you're afraid of what might change if you become thinner. I see that your ultimate goal is 140. How do you picture your life would change or be different at 140? Is there something that scares you or makes you uncomfortable? If you can figure that out, you may find what's holding you back.

Just a thought. :)

I saw that; I don't really have any "before" pics that I can upload. I've got some in photo albums, but nothing digital.

Your crawfish experience just goes to show that no matter how much you put into figuring it out, your body has a mind of its own; we can just make our best guess and learn to accept that sometimes things won't make sense :p. Glad it went in the downward direction, though!

Hello everyone!

Mern, I actually like the idea of breaking it up in smaller intervals, but I really cannot use the excuse of I don't have 30 minutes to workout. I just haven't gotten my mind around it. But today was a better day! Hope you also manage a workout.

Cassie, good luck with achieving your goals this week!

Quinn, wish you success for the week! And that you enjoy the walks with your husband.

Terry, looks like you are working well through your "self sabotage", just keep writing it down until you figure it out. Looks like you kept last week loss and then some! Hope your body is recovered now.

Mike, good luck in your low carb week.


Goals

1- Maintain a 1250 weekly average.
2- Drink 3 L of water a day.
3- Exercise 5 times during the week.
4- Organize photos
5- Start and finish the report
6- Keep a clean Inbox

MAIN80, some of your goals haunt me :o.

I need to organize photos and clean my inbox, too (emails, that is).

And reports are always an issue! Good luck with your goals; I may use you to motivate me to get some of them onto my list!

thanks Main80!


Well I was doing good today but I'm been craving carbs!!! I've been good but the cravings are still there. I know in a few days the craving will go away, but I have a planned cheat on Wednesday (my New Orleans office is doing cake and ice cream for the May birthdays, seeing that that would be me and they are planning it around my schedule I kinda have to celebrate with them) so that'll probably screw things up. Other issue, just like last time is breakfast, I'm starting to hate eggs so I'm limited. I may have to start eating chicken or steak or something for breakfast. I was also reading up on that plan that I'm following and he said that green veggies are free and unlimited and you don't have to count them, so I may back them out of my log.

Happy Monday everyone!

This week I only have two major goals because I have a lot of little personal goals that are day specific. (Ex: Tuesday: Beg for internship at MUSC)

And I'm off to an amazing start already because my week can only go up from here! I gave in to emotional eating and pushed my calories up over 2000! Granted, I know what I did wrong (I let myself get too hungry AND answered the phone when my exgf called) so I'm going take this as an opportunity to learn from my mistakes... and hope to high heaven that my body will respond as if I'm "Zig-Zag" dieting. If I cross my fingers and do 200 crunches a day will I get lucky?

On a different note: I bought stickers to motivate myself! Sparkly, rainbow colored, animal printed hearts for when I reach my weightloss goal for that week, and sparkly, rainbow colored stars for when I get my milage in! I figure that if I have a physical calender that I can put the stickers on, that it will be like high-fiving myself! Plus I need to be able to jog a 5k by the time that I get back to college in late August for crew. Win-Win!

Yeah Baby Yeah!

don't stress over the emotional/binge eating. Just move forward. 1 pound in 1 week is good!!

Thanks for noticing! I'm a big fan of the 1 pound per week kind of weight loss! One pound was my goal and I totally beasted it! In your face, Shark Week! :D

Cassie, sorry my goals are haunting you! ;)

To me it seems I always have photos to organize and I fall in the trap of not replying to non-urgent emails quickly and then my inbox becomes work.

Let's see how it goes!

*Monday*

Back To Discipline:
Food and Fitness

1200 calories/day 1282
Walk each day hubby is home this week (minimum 3 miles/day) 2 miles (raining)
LOG EVERYTHING! Yep. Not pretty, but it's logged.
Take multivitamin, flax and vitamin E daily Yes

Personal Baggage:

Don't let daughter push my buttons as she stresses during finals week Yes
Don't let hubby talk me into multiple restaurant visits while he's home Ate out tonight, but I saved my calories from throughout the day.

Mike,

Hang in there and resist those cravings, until cake and ice cream Wednesday of course!

Its a good thing the green veggies are free. Oh, I would have such a hard time in low carb... :)

I love stickers!

You can call today a small break and move on, you have the right attitude since you realize it will only get better and you have identified your triggers.

It does look like you have your goals well defined so just keep at it. :)

Monday Report early--closing down the kitchen to quit while I'm ahead.

Calories 1600 1477,
Calorie deficit 800 per day 1062,
Carbs less fiber 25g 19.1,
Track grams & % of calories from protein: 111.9 or 31%,
Track % of calories from saturated fat 13%,

Artificial sweetener limit 1 packet per day 0,
Sugar free candy limit 2 pieces per day 2,

Water 64 oz. YES
Exercise 30 minutes, 5 days--no lame excuses YES

Be sure the day's custom foods in FitDay have sat fat listed. YES

lol I'm in the same boat. At my all time highest, I was somewhere around 168. 140 is the weight that I was when I started fitday. I have a couple of "before" pictures, but also not digital. Even if they were digital, I'd be kind of shy to publish them on the internet. :eek: And my "afters" have other people in them that I wouldn't want to publish for their sake.

But I really admire people who do put their pictures up because I think it's very motivational. I'm just a little "internet shy", I guess. lol :D

Cassie, good for you for getting right back in recovery mode. Not easy, and I applaud you for that. "...no matter how much you put into figuring it out, your body has a mind of its own; we can just make our best guess and learn to accept that sometimes things won't make sense..." Boy, ain't THAT the truth! LOL

Main80, I don't think that guideline of three 10 minute intervals being OK was only for those who don't have a 30 minute block of time, but also for those of us who sometimes have to force ourselves to exercise because we'd rather be doing something else--it's better than nothing. I got my 30 minutes in one session today--to a DVD in the computer while watching TV.

Quinn, congrats on your weekend exercise. Best wishes this week with DH home. Hey, looks like you're off to a good start with your Monday accomplishments. Way to go! I have a really good "before" picture, but I refuse to post a "during" picture until there's a really quite noticeable difference. I'm a long way from "after" but I'm getting there. :)

Terri, you are amazing. So honest with yourself (also courageous) to have figured out the source of your anxiety. I think that's half the battle. I'm with Cassie--we know you can do it, and we'll be rooting you into those 170s in no time. Best wishes on that exercise, too--I always have a more positive outlook when reaching my exercise goals. Maybe that's just me because it's such a feat for me to do any.

Mike is that a 2000 calorie deficit goal for the week or is that a typo? Glad you enjoyed your crawfish boil. Maybe sucking out the crawfish brains gets your scale to be nice to you. LOL Good luck with low carbing this week. Carb cravings are tough--I've low carbed for a long time and have never found a solution except abstaining from too many until the cravings pass. I eat all kinds of stuff for breakfast--meat, veggies, sometimes even homemade soup.

Mhibdon, oh, I hope you get the internship. LOL on the zig-zag dieting. Yeah, let us know if you find the magic bullet for diet and exercise discipline. LOL How fun about the motivation/reward stickers. Whatever works! Enjoy! And I agree on the pound loss--and remember, a pound a week really adds up quickly. :)

Thanks Mern! The 2000 deficient is for the week, not a typo. That's a great idea for breakfast. What kind of soup do you recommend??

Health & Fitness
1) eat clean for 6 days yes
2) average 20% or less in carbs for the week (Will report at the end of the week. Cheat day can't be too bad to do this!)
3) drink a gallon of water a day yes
4) take daily:
vitamin yes
fish oil yesx2
glucosamine yes
5) 2000 cals deficient for the week -589
6) floss 7x yes
7) Lifting workouts 3x yes
8) cardio 3x no
9) log food every day yes

Checking in:

1. Calorie limit of 1300/day, one day exception. 1307-close enough
2. Drink 64 oz. water daily. Yes
3. Exercise 7 times. Tennis match
4. Sleep 7 hours a night. 6.5
5. Journal situation and mood and related thoughts while eating. Yes

6. Get teacher cards and gifts sent out. Yes
7. Choose end of year gift for the boy. No clue
8. Second coat doors in office. Yes
9. Family room trim done by end of weekend. Not yet
10. Smile more, bitch less . Woohoo, no bitching at all today!

Well, I was a real slug this evening after my match; I sat on the couch and read and watched replays of the French Open. Hubby's out of town again on business and my son has only one final tomorrow, which he exempted out of, so he doesn't have to go to school at all. So we felt justified in goofing off and not doing anything responsible. I'm tired, which is good; maybe I'll get my 7 hours in tonight *fingers crossed*!

Everyone's done well today; congratulations :D!

Mike, whew, that's quite a calorie deficit! Oh, but I forgot about all the calories you burn working out, too. I make homemade low carb veggie soup out of whatever I have on hand. I eat only homemade so I can control the sodium and carbs. No recipe--just dump and taste. :)

Cassie, great job today! So nice that you had the evening off so you could just relax and do whatever made you happy. Congrats to the boy for exempting out of his final tomorrow. :)

Quinn, Nice job with the goals today!

Mern, Yey on the 30 minutes today! I also managed my workout today. I will definitely try to break it up when I just don't feel like it, but generally when I start going then I can keep at it.

Cassie, your afternoon sounds great! You both had done your work so its more than justified.

Monday

1- Maintain a 1250 weekly average. 1019
2- Drink 3 L of water a day. Yes
3- Exercise 5 times during the week. Yes
4- Organize photos. No
5- Start and finish the report. Started
6- Keep a clean Inbox. Sort of

Main80, congrats on your food, water, and exercise. I don't really hate exercise all that much--it's just that I'd rather be doing something else and sometimes slack off due to lack of self-discipline. Like you, once I get started I usually enjoy it and finish in one session. I also do better if I can exercise in the morning. The longer I put it off, the less likely I am to exercise at all.

Mike: Thanks for the little push! I think I've worked out the major issue after a long conversation with my best friend last evening. It's a matter of, for me, "naming my horse" or getting to the root of the anxiety (usually one issue) and then fighting it off :)

Cassie: Haha, maybe so. One benefit of being a slug is that I got a lot of my neglected sewing done - 8 hours on Sunday, yeesh! I'm going to keep writing it down, either here or my personal journal, and talking it out when I need to. Thanks :) Your goals look good!

Quinn: You're very insightful! There is something that scares me about 140 - without going into too much detail, as some of the struggles I'm going through are lifelong and quite personal, it boils down to being scared of "being myself" -- the real me, without fat to hide behind (just one layer of my hiding) and I am also scared of coming into my own professionally. It's all twined together. I think I've gotten to the heart of it. I feel better today.

Main80: Thanks! I'm shocked it kept off entirely, I was expecting a bounce-back. Hopefully it's not going to catch up with me suddenly in a week or two, haha! I will keep writing until it's out of me, thanks for the cheers!

mhibidon: Dude, I love stickers! What a great attitude you have!

Mern: Aw, shucks. Thanks. The 170s will feel good, I just need to get OVER the number already, haha! I agree that I feel better when I reach my exercise goals, too. I think because overall, getting in the exercise is harder. Food becomes a habit - exercise hasn't yet for me, because I haven't scheduled it often enough. Work in progress. Your goals are lookin' good, I see all green!

Monday Report Card

Food, Exercise, Lifestyle Goals:
1) Achieve a 7,000 calorie deficit through a combination of eating and exercise M: -1,501 (Week Total: -1,501)
2) Do not skip exercise two days in a row M: 45 minutes HIIT
3) At least 120 oz. of water daily M: yes
4) Weekly carb average of 50% or less M: 41% (Week Average: 41%)
5) Weekly protein average of 30% or more M: 32% (Week Average: 32%)
6) Do not eat out more than twice for lunch and twice for dinner M: Lunch out (Total 1 Lunch, 0 Dinners)

Other Life Stuff
1) Research Memorial Day deals - buying our first washer/dryer this Memorial Day weekend!! M: N/A until the deals are out!!
2) Make an effort on my appearance every day M: No
3) Journal or talk about my anxiety. Don't self-sabotage. M: Long convo with best friend, BF
4) Read articles every day. Come up with summer research plan. M: No, but I did finish all edits to Book #2, so I kept my head in the science game all day.

I called my best friend (who is a guy! :D) over my lucnch break to talk to him about my weight/work/anxiety that had somehow focused itself on my sabotaging the diet plan, or at least losing motivation to do things actively. While I'm not going to lay out all my crazy here, haha, he did help me focus my thought train and I felt much, much better after spilling my guts. Continued to talk with BF this evening, and he went to the gym with me to give me smiles and thumbs-ups throughout getting back on the horse. I only did 45 minutes as opposed to my usual hour HIIT cardio, but I felt GREAT both during and after and even hit "the zone" during my workout. Nothing could have been more motivating.

We celebrated with "brinner" (aka breakfast for dinner, one of my favorites!) so after my workout I had a nice protein-rich treat with eggs and bacon. I even had a link of BF's breakfast sausage and didn't feel guilty at all!

I'm still feeling anxious, but it's not that overpowering feeling I had over the weekend. Will get through.

~Terri

Terri, that's great that you got to talk it out with your best friend and that bf was so supportive as well. My daughter is in a relationship, but her best friend is also a guy--took her bf a while to feel secure about that. Aw, come on! I wouldn't mind if you laid out your crazy stuff here--Lord knows it would make me feel slightly more sane. LOL All joking aside, you're doing great, kiddo. Keep up the good work! Oh, I love both brunch and brinner.

*Tuesday*

Back To Discipline:
Food and Fitness

1200 calories/day 1282, 1641 :(
Walk each day hubby is home this week (minimum 3 miles/day) 2 miles (raining), 2 miles (elder care issues today)
LOG EVERYTHING! Yep. Not pretty, but it's logged. Ditto.
Take multivitamin, flax and vitamin E daily Yes, Yes

Personal Baggage:

Don't let daughter push my buttons as she stresses during finals week Yes, Yes
Don't let hubby talk me into multiple restaurant visits while he's home Ate out tonight, but I saved my calories from throughout the day. Ate at home all day. (except for a frozen yogurt)

Keeping my calories down while the husband is home this week is quite challenging. It was a beautiful day, so he wanted to grill out for lunch which put me over my calorie limit today. I was really active, though, so maybe it will all even out. Still waiting for my last radiology report... I'm sure it'll be fine. I just hate having something hanging over my head.

Terri,

So happy that things are working out. My best friend, ever, was a guy. If we had an awful date, we would call each other, late at night, and complain about how dreadful it was. If we had a bad day, same thing. If we needed to go somewhere and didn't have a date, we'd go together. After four years of being best friends, we made the hard decision to try to date one another, which was terrifying! After a couple weeks of dating, we became engaged and have been married ever since. :)

The only down side is that I know about all of the girls that he dated, in detail, because he told me about them back when we were just friends! lol

Terri, you're making great progress on a lot of levels.

Mike, your report looks good also; hopefully today was excellent as well.

Mern & MAIN80, hope you are well and happy today, and enjoying some payoffs of your hard work.

mhibdon, I love your enthusiasm. Hope you enjoy your stickers!

Quinn, that's a wonderful story of how you met your husband. I dated a close friend in college and it ended poorly. However, said friend bemoaned it so persistently that one of his suitemates came to introduce himself to me...and HIM I married, three years later. It all works out in the end :)

I've been fighting the urge to eat the house down tonight. Maybe two days of tennis has me hungry, I don't know. Yet another day of wishing I was about 5'9" and burned 1800 a day. Metabolism envy, I suppose :p.

1. Calorie limit of 1300/day, one day exception. 1307-close enough, 1296
2. Drink 64 oz. water daily. Yes, Yes
3. Exercise 7 times. Tennis match, Cardio tennis
4. Sleep 7 hours a night. 6.5, 7
5. Journal situation and mood and related thoughts while eating. Yes, Yes

6. Get teacher cards and gifts sent out. Yes
7. Choose end of year gift for the boy. Narrowing it down
8. Second coat doors in office. Yes
9. Family room trim done by end of weekend. Not yet
10. Smile more, bitch less . Woohoo, no bitching at all today! Little bitchy w/Mr. Impatience at the oral surgeon's office

Just checking in.

Health & Fitness
1) eat clean for 6 days yes, yes
2) average 20% or less in carbs for the week (Will report at the end of the week. Cheat day can't be too bad to do this!)
3) drink a gallon of water a day yes, yes
4) take daily:
vitamin yes, yes
fish oil yesx2, yesx2
glucosamine yes, yes
5) 2000 cals deficient for the week -589, -755
6) floss 7x yes, yes
7) Lifting workouts 3x yes, no
8) cardio 3x no, yes
9) log food every day yes, yes

Wednesday report:

Calorie limit 1600 1477, 1553
Calorie deficit 800 per day 1062, 986
Carbs less fiber 25g 19.1, 25,
Track grams & % of calories from protein: 111.9 or 31%, 142.3 or 37%
Track % of calories from saturated fat 13%, 11%

Artificial sweetener limit 1 packet per day 0, 3
Sugar free candy limit 2 pieces per day 2, 0

Water 64 oz. YES YES
Exercise 30 minutes, 5 days--no lame excuses YES YES
Be sure the day's custom foods in FitDay have sat fat listed. YES YES


Quinn, wishing you a really good today with less stress. I hope those radiology reports come back soon so you can have peace of mind and put that behind you.

Mike, great job Monday and Tuesday! :)

Cassie, thanks for your encouragement. You had great days Monday and Tuesday, also. :) I have metabolism envy, too. Sure does suck that short women burn so few lifestyle calories compared to others. I had to struggle to close the kitchen last night. Forgot to log my almonds earlier in the day and when I double-checked my nutrition tracker before my evening snack I found I had room for only half a protein shake and half an ounce (half a skinny little rib) of plain celery. I had a hard time falling asleep last night due to hunger pangs but I made it through.

Cassie and Quinn, I loved reading the stories about how you and your DHs met. :) I was "dating" a guy who was just a friend and we both knew it would never become more that that. DH and I lived in the same small 9 unit apartment building and I had just said hello to him once when I saw him sitting outside in a lawn chair and noticed he had the most gorgeous eyes. One day I was carrying two heavy bags of groceries and he saw me and offered to help me carry the groceries up to my apartment. He said, "I know it's short notice, but are you doing anything tonight?" I accepted without hesitating. I never dated anyone else after my first date with DH. We married two years later.

Oh, this is fun. I want to hear how the rest of you met your spouses or mates. :)

Thanks, Mern.

You're having a wonderful week achieving your goals!

Why is it that women always notice a man's eyes and yet I've never heard a man say, "WOW! Did you see that girl's eyes???" LOL :p

Mern: Haha! Actually, I have TWO best friends (childhood best friend and college best friend) and both are male - I've always had more guy friends than girlfriends :) I think BF handles it pretty well - it helps that both of my best friends are in relationships (one long-term, 8 years, and the other is engaged) so I'm sure he feels less threatened. At first I know he had a hard time knowing that I had other men in my life who were closer to me than him, when we first started dating, but hopefully I've made it clear to him that he is the SPECIAL guy in my life. Work in progress, always!

As for laying out my crazy - oh man, I'd need a couch to start to relate my issues about being myself, expressing my opinion, and how I feel about my own point of view!!! I don't take my own side most of the time, and I've spent much of my life not being myself but rather being who others want me to be, and I am just now coming to grips with who I actually am (trust me, for a long time there I didn't even know, and I'm still learning it in a really fundamental sense) It was due to childhood, relationships, you name it. Also work in progress!!

quinn: I love that story about your DH!! I think most everyone thought that my childhood best friend - who I've known since I was 3 - and I would eventually get together. He's my soulmate in a lot of ways. I sort of believe in heartmates vs. soulmates (maybe one person can be both!). Childhood best friend understands me in a way that no one, not even BF, probably will, but we've never been attracted to each other romantically. It's way more like siblings, or having a twin that can read my mind (we were also born only 9 days apart. I'm older! lol). We just happen to be a guy and a girl.

BF, on the other hand, is a heartmate whom I love like I never expected to love another person. That's an emotional completion with a different sort of understanding.

Mike: Your reports look awesome!!

As for how I met BF -- that is a long and winding road, but we met by chance at a mall in North Carolina. BF is about as bold as brass tacks, but I was living in NY at the time (I think this was...December of 2003). I flirted, but thought nothing of it (actually, I remember thinking at the time that he was REALLY funny, which he is, but I wasn't amazingly attracted to him off the bat). I did give him my e-mail address for grins. Well, he e-mailed, I e-mailed back, then he called. And then it was about 2 years of a long-distance something that was more than friendship and less than a relationship. We talked on the phone just about every night. I dated casually during that time, at least at first, but by the end of it I felt something and didn't know what to do with it, and I wasn't in an emotional place to date other people because I wanted someone 1,000 miles away -- and that felt okay. I met up with him again in 2005 when he came to NY to visit a friend of his who was working in NYC on a movie. Sparks flew. He went back to NC for awhile, we talked more seriously on the phone about, basically, "What do we do with each other?"

Eventually he moved to NYC to live with said movie-working-friend and I, living about an hour and a half away at the time, drove out most weekends to see him (he didn't have a car, and it was cheaper for me to drive than for him to take the train). We got serious quickly, and he moved in with me abouuuut a month later, I think. Maybe a month and a half. He told me later that he mostly moved to NYC for the chance to be closer to me and hoped to have a real shot at being with me. In a way it's very romantic, even if it's a little off-beat and took us a long while to actually be together :) We've had some serious ups and downs, but we've been living together since January of '06 and I wouldn't trade a moment of it!


Tuesday Report Card

Food, Exercise, Lifestyle Goals:
1) Achieve a 7,000 calorie deficit through a combination of eating and exercise M: -1,501 T: -359 (Week Total: -1,860)
2) Do not skip exercise two days in a row M: 45 minutes HIIT T: Day off
3) At least 120 oz. of water daily M: yes N: no
4) Weekly carb average of 50% or less M: 41% T: 46% (Week Average: 43.5%)
5) Weekly protein average of 30% or more M: 32% T: 21% (Week Average: 26.5%)
6) Do not eat out more than twice for lunch and twice for dinner M: Lunch out T: Lunch AND dinner out :o (Total 2 Lunches, 1 Dinner)

Other Life Stuff
1) Research Memorial Day deals - buying our first washer/dryer this Memorial Day weekend!! M: N/A until the deals are out!! T: Narrowed down to likely candidates
2) Make an effort on my appearance every day M: No T: yes, and got compliments all day
3) Journal or talk about my anxiety. Don't self-sabotage. M: Long convo with best friend, BF T: More talking with BF
4) Read articles every day. Come up with summer research plan. M: No, but I did finish all edits to Book #2, so I kept my head in the science game all day. T: No

Unexpected day of eating out yesterday!!! I was expecting lunch out (lab birthday, we had mexican) but NOT dinner, and I was definitely high on saturated fats yesterday. Ugh. I tried, but when you're taken out to Steak and Shake by a grad student wanting to express gratitude for helping her on a project, your options are limited :o. I'm proud of myself for avoiding fries AND a shake (got a side salad), though I did have a grilled chicken sandwich and I ate the bun. Two out of three ain't bad, right? I'm sure I got a sodium triple-load, so not weighing myself until Friday is definitely the plan for the rest of the week. I think I'll just count it as a cheat day and moooooove on!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

~Terri

Mern, Thanks for the encouragement, you are doing so well! I also lack the self discipline, I really need exercising to become a habit.

Terri, I don't think they will come back in weeks to come. Glad you are working around the anxiety.

Quinn, you are a great story teller! I did not see the marrying the best friend coming! :)

Cassie, thanks for your words!

All your stories are so nice! Gave a huge smile on my face. I have no story to tell you (yet) so I owe you that.

Yesterday was a travelling day and my goals took a hit for it.

Tuesday

1- Maintain a 1250 weekly average. 1044
2- Drink 3 L of water a day. Yes, No
3- Exercise 5 times during the week. Yes, No
4- Organize photos. No, No
5- Start and finish the report. Started, still at started,
6- Keep a clean Inbox. Sort of, decent