Goal of posting daily FOILED by weird Fitday glitch of not letting me into FORUMS for two days?? Anyone else have this problem.

Oh well.

Well ladies, I have HUGE news . . .I just lost around 185 pounds. I'm filing for divorce. I have reached a point where, even though my husband SAYS he loves me, he doesn't do the things that a mature, loving relationship requires and EVERY time he let's me down, I die a little bit inside self-esteem wise. I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm through excusing him, I'm through supporting him completely with no verifiable support in return. We have tried six months of counseling and when, finally, I think we have a breakthrough last Tuesday, he turns around and does 10 things that are 10 times worse than the 10 disappointments I've had from him in the past. It's as if "uh oh -- I've committed to making this work, so now I have to have a binge of bad behavior to show her I'm in charge." It is HIS addictive personality at work. And I have addictions of my own that I can't solve if I am constantly trying to solve his.

Amazingly, I am not tearful or unhappy. I feel a little "melancholy" and A LOT afraid of what COULD be my future, but am committed to not letting the fear of my future become the reality of it.

So this morning, I'm revisiting a really powerful group of podcasts called "Inside out weight loss" by Renee Stephens (check her out -- she has a lot of insight), and am about to GIVE MYSELF THE GIFT of exercise I'm going to start framing my healthy choices in a different way, exercise is a gift, healthy cooking and sitting down to eat and enjoy is TRUE pleasure, water is curative of so many ills -- I want to stop beating myself up for doing wrong and start seeing healthy behaviors as joy and reward!

I faced the scale and was only up 2 lbs in the past four weeks of not being here -- so that's good! 219.6 right now. Goal is under 200 by Jan. 15th -- which is a big day for me, so I have to get there!

Take care pretties and Happy Thanksgiving weekend.

Ang

Just gave myself the GIFT of 30 mins on the elliptical plus 45 mins of a FIRM video - upper and lower body.

Now I am going to give myself the gift of a 15 minute head to toe body scrub -- exfoliation of every dry and dead cell I can reach (for now -- pretty soon I will be able to reach all my dead cells!!! :-) ). I will love and appreciate the body I have right now as I shower and not self-loathe. I have been taking quick showers for about 2 years because I HATE being naked -- I'm going to stop doing that. Showers are time outs from the world, a time to pamper, a time to connect with your body and tell it you love it no matter what!!!

Then I'm off to sling coffee as part of my gift of health to myself -- my health insurance job. Going to make appt for full physical on Monday!!! Gonna' face the Dr. and get REALLY motivated to be fit.

Later gators,
Ang

Stayed at a 5lb loss this week and couldn't be happier with that. :)

Had a very big binge today, probably consumed over 3000 calories. But it's the first time I've done that since starting this new lifestyle and I can honestly say that it didn't feel all that good! Infact, I'm now feeling a tad sick and my body is already rejecting what I ate. And I'm actually glad!

Got a lovely pair of UK size 16 gym pants today. (I think that is a US size 12?) They fit lovely and I don't look like a whale in spandex while wearing them. Yay!

OH, and I'm 2lbs away from being exactly half way to my goal!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!

Getting back in the gym tomorrow. I'm suffering from a cold and sore throat, so I've been taking it easy, getting loads of fluids and vitamins and trying to let it pass naturally. I'm sure my body wouldn't appreciate 3 hours in the gym just now.

Brandismom - You're really courageous, and I wish you all the best following the big decision you have made. :) Sorry I don't have anything else to say about that, I can't imagine being in your situation. xxx

Way to Go Boo!!! I am so proud of your accomplishment!!

Brandismom ~ wow! None of us can really know what the exact situation you were in but all of us can understand how scarey and couragous and 'uprooting' all these things can be. I wish you all the best! It sounds from what you posted that you have made some awesome choices and plans for the new you. I think you will be just fine. :)

Brandismom - thank you for the insight:
*Exercise is a gift I give myself.
*Healthy cooking and sitting down to eat is a true pleasure to be savored (slowly?)
*Water is curative.

I am going to work on incorporating this positive thought pattern into my consciousness.

You sound strong and confident, and hope everthing works out well for you. Good luck!

Hello ladies!

I have decided to jump ship from my board if I am still welcome. I guess the reason I procrastinated is because I didn't want to disturb you seasoned "vets" with my newbie problems...

I do need to catch up though and read from the beginning of this board.

You all seem like a fun bunch and I am looking forward to joining your group!

Welcome, Bobbie! It seems like we have a fairly constant stream of new people joining, so I hope you'll be comfortable with the mix of "old" and new joiners. :) We're all on the same journey, anyway, just at different points along the way. The support we all need is universal!

My Thanksgiving is today, so I've actually had a good week food-wise up until today. We are making lots of healthy dishes, so although I'm sure I will eat too much, at least it will be all good stuff. What I really need to do it get back in the habit of exercising. I haven't gotten back to swimming since we got back from vacation. It's just so cold (yes, I'm whining about Southern California weather!), that it's hard to thinking about jumping into a well-heated pool. :D

Just gotta get back to it. Tomorrow is as good a day as any!

Thanks for the warm welcome Zoot...or maybe it is the cold one, due to the cold weather reference ? ;) I had to chuckle since I actually find today warm and it is 1°C (33.8°F) with a wind chill of -2°C (28.4°F).

I think I will be more than comfortable with this group thanks!

Enjoy your Thanksgiving celebration!

I have a cold and it's at that awful stage where I can't taste anything, and all I want to do is stuff my face! I'm avoiding temptation nicely, but so tired that I can't be bothered with anything at the moment so it's probably going to be a bland 'something' on toast dinner for me tonight.
Hopefully I've recovered enough to hit the gym again tomorrow!

Try some nice chicken soup and add some garlic Boo! Even with the worst cold I can taste that.

Welcome to the thread bobbi.

OMG Zoot ( whining about cali cold LOL!) Come here ( chicago) and think about aquasize when the wind chill is -50. That's what my winter looks like.. and I hate cold! At this point I can not imagine it.. but I just paid to do it twice a week, and I dont have money to just fritter away... so if I can turn blue, so can you! lol