Sad about lack of family support

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Old 03-24-2017, 12:12 AM
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Unhappy Sad about lack of family support

Hi all, I'm new here. I just needed to reach out to someone today because I have been "skinny fat" for at least 15 years ever since my last children were born and have never had much success in losing weight. I have recently started a very low carb diet, eating less than 50 g of carbohydrates a day, and am finally having some success! I am hypothyroid with Hashimoto's disease also and had been sort of blaming my low metabolism and weight gain/inability to lose weight on that. I've been 5'1" and 128 pounds for several years, I gradually crept up to that. My family has been criticizing me lately because of this new diet, they are calling me anorexic because I am on this special diet when I look like a normal sized person to them. They are neglecting to realize that my frame is very very small. I was 107 pounds as a full-sized adult before marriage and my wrist circumference is the smallest of anyone I know and tiny feet at size 5.5. However, they've forgotten that and am judging me on my 128 pound self that I've been for the last however many years and I'm good at hiding my shape with my clothes. i exercise a lot, I am fit but have had this huge belly and thick thighs for years. I'm finally doing something that is working and they're laughing at me and saying that I have a body image problem and saying that me talking about my new diet is detrimental to my teenage girls. I'm really sad and feeling disheartened. I've been trying not to talk about it now in case they're right. The worst are the two main culprits are family members who are doctors and they think they know best. They say if my thyroid numbers are right, then it's not the thyroid. They say I can't sustain my diet and that it's ludicrous and though one of them says they think I'm anorexic, and that my doctor (who has actually recommended this diet after working at an obese clinic) doesn't know what she's talking about in having advised me to take on this low carbohydrate diet and they've been laughing behind my back about it. Just needed to vent. Don't have anyone else to vent to, cause my sister is married to one of the critics and I don't want to talk about my family with my friends.
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Old 03-24-2017, 12:27 AM
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Both of your weights (107 and 128 lbs) put you in a normal BMI range for your height - you are not overweight. But you know what makes you feel the most comfortable with your clothes and how you move.

If you don't talk about your diet, you can probably lose weight just as well as if you do talk about it? I hope no one is pushing food that you don't want. That is the best example you can give to your teenage girls - that you won't try to control what they eat, and that no one should do that to you!

When you are satisfied with your weight, you won't have to talk about your diet even then. Stay with what makes you feel your best. Never complain, never explain!
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Old 03-24-2017, 01:25 AM
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Hi Kathy, thanks for your quick response! and thank you for the support. I agree that if I don't talk about it with them, I can lose the weight just as easily as if I do talk about it. I've already decided that. But my brother does push food at me and I have to keep refusing. I felt forced to try these two bubble tea drinks today as he kept pushing me to give them a try after I declined and everyone else was watching, so felt I had to, to keep the peace.

I understand that you think that the 128 pounds puts me at a normal BMI for my height but you are not using the BMI calculator that takes into account small frames. With that calculator, 128 pounds is overweight. I know that you are using the conventional calculations, but I don't feel that is correct where you are considering either large frames or small frames, only average frames. Just my opinion and as you said, it's whether I feel comfortable in my clothes and I don't. I'm one of those super tiny framed persons of Asian descent (with a bit of excess fat). Here's a BMI calculator that takes the frames into account.

BMI Calculator

Thanks for your reply though. It does help.
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Old 03-24-2017, 02:11 AM
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Thanks for the link to that BMI calculator that takes frame size into account!

Stay strong. No one should be forcing you to eat.

Around Christmas, I made something in a hurry and my daughter politely put it down because it was too salty. It was then that I realized that I have just come to eat more heavily salted food, which is not good. Her turning it down put it in perspective for me. No one should have to eat an entire portion of something they don't enjoy.
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Old 04-12-2017, 12:04 AM
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Hi, N...I belong to weight lost support group in my local area called T.O.P.S (taking off pounds senisble) One thing I learn...some don't know how to give support.
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Old 04-14-2017, 04:29 AM
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It's sad to know that your family is seeing your diet in a bad light. I hope that does not get to you and if you think that your diet is for a better you and for a better health, don't stop. Let them say whatever they want.

Don't let them affect you.
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