Feeling Very Stuck...Insight?

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Old 07-17-2018, 06:52 AM
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Default Feeling Very Stuck...Insight?

Hi Everyone,

I'm new on here. I just needed to post to get some unbiased feedback/motivation before I just bawl my eyes out from frustration. If it helps anyone to know my stats before I give background, here they are: I'm 35 years old, 5'5", 160 lbs. I'm an hourglass shape, and I'm also about 30% body fat.

Background: It seems like as soon as I hit puberty, I started gaining weight. I don't think anyone could (then or now) really look at me and call me "fat", but I have always been about a size 8/10 and not super comfortable with it.

I was born with a cardio/respiratory defect that required major surgery as an infant, and I have never formed a great relationship with exercise because of my difficulty breathing. I'm embarrassed to go to classes because I can't keep up, and I'm even very weak with weights. I have controlled my weight mostly with diets, and I've gone on super restrictive ones for vacations, etc. and slimmed down to about 125 pounds, but I was only eating 800 calories a day. I LOVED how I looked, but know I can't sustain that long term. Which brings me to...

Now. I'm just tired of not looking the way I want to. I feel like every day I am disappointed in myself because I can't seem to figure this out. I generally stick to a pretty healthy diet, I track my food in MFP, I have a Fitbit (mostly to track my heart rate and sleep quality, as I don't really trust the estimated calorie burn). I do drink alcohol most days, but it's mostly White Claw (spiked seltzer, less cals than wine), which is weak stuff and pretty innocent. I track my macros and I try to keep my calories to about 1,200 but I will have a day or two a week where I just try to relax and not stress about tracking. I try to jump on the bike about every other day at the gym and cycle for about 20-30 mins. I want to go longer, but as I said, the cardio/respiratory limitation is a little tough on me. Additionally, I find working out to be quite boring (even if I watch YouTube videos on the bike), but I also have Adult ADHD.

Is there anyone out there who identifies with any of this and found a way out? I just want to be happy and healthy and be proud of the way I look.
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Old 07-21-2018, 10:59 PM
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Hi, was trying to reply yesterday, I guess it didn't go so briefly: I'm 31, 50 lbs over normal weight and had simmilar problems.

Before doing anything I had to expand my lungs. I did the exercizes the band teacher gave to the trumpet players in high school. It took months while struggling through daily exercises.

Then I had to incorporate extra stretching because as my lungs became more capable my legs couldn't keep up.

And I'm not saying I have any known 'disorder' I'm just saying this is what I had to do because of my mild "compulsion" to be able to maintain interest: I'm the kind of person that has to count or spell when I'm extremely stressed.

I took my stress tic and keyed into my stressed mindset that blocked everything else out. It was like a meditation, get in, let my mind wander and grasp threads that I came across. My body moved on auto pilot and I went for endurance rather that short bursts. ******Do NOT do this while lifting free weights I hit myself with dumbells and freaked out my spotter - I had gotten lost in my brain and just laid there, arms locked in place and shaking with the bar hovering over my chest for a couple minutes stairing and muttering- (was trying to figure out how many grooves there were on the grippy part of the bar)

The tread mill was better for me because of the thump and all the little lit up numbers that distracted me and the dead sprint when the tic gave me a headace.
I was also the weirdo that brought a rubik's cube with me to the bike just to let my legs move as I snapped my cube around.

If you have a tic you might try to tap into yours so your body can run on auto pilot while your mind goes wild.

Ah and idk about you but I can't skip a day. Not one. Even if it's a lazy work out day, I have to do something one day off always translates to a month or even 3 before I will myself back into the game- excuses are strong in me.

Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm stressed over 50 lbs that stuck to me after baby and am having a lot of trouble dealing with how much progress I've lost.
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:06 AM
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Originally Posted by JuiceJenn View Post
.

Is there anyone out there who identifies with any of this and found a way out? I just want to be happy and healthy and be proud of the way I look.
hello JuiceJenn - seems like you're struggling with many of the same issues as many of us. Healthy choices that work for me (when I choose them) are, fruit n veggies, some exercise every day, water, lotsa water, and coming on here at least once a week and reporting the good, the bad and the awful. Actually I'm here now because I've made a tiny wee bit of progress, and am predictably craving things that wont help me and I dont even need. Very best to you - let us know it goes for you
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Old 08-17-2018, 06:11 AM
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I just keep on looking for motivational videos and forums such as this. It doesn't make me feel alone at all in this battle, it even gained me some friends of my own weight. You are not alone, you just have to find companion to continously motivate you, no matter what.
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