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Emotions and Excercise ... lets discuss .... (candid)

Emotions and Excercise ... lets discuss .... (candid)

Old 08-09-2010, 03:46 PM
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You're not alone.

Often when I am jogging I imagine that the other people at the track - or the people who pass me on the trails - are thinking to themself mean things about how slow I go, i.e. "Why is she even trying? She should just walk at that pace."

I don't even go that slowly - I have no idea why I'm always so self-conscious when I go out. But it always happens o.O

Of course, to be totally honest, I do this about everything, so that's probably my problem! Like the other day at the pool I was sure everyone was looking at my stuble, because I hadn't shaved that day. And last week, when I was walking home from work, I swore a woman I passed called me a "s***". I turned around and realized she was pointing out a "slide" to her child!

I think what you need to do (and definitely what I need to do) is stop caring what other people think! Who cares if they really do think you're a cow and I'm a slow-poke? We're not going out for our jogs for *their* benefit - we're doing it for ourselves! And our opinion of ourselves is the only opinion that should matter.

(Now if I can only convince myself to follow that advice )
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by JulieTM View Post
You're not alone.
Often when I am jogging I imagine that the other people at the track - or the people who pass me on the trails - are thinking to themself mean things about how slow I go, i.e. "Why is she even trying? She should just walk at that pace."
Most of my life I've been the classic ectomorph/hard gainer... I was the skinny kid spending too many hours in all sorts of gyms trying to bulk up, but I had a great deal of respect for the overweight folks working to make a change. Far from making fun of them, I can honestly say most (if not all, but there's always a few jerks, right?) were pulling for them.

Years later and now some 30 lbs overweight myself--even though it's nowhere near the struggle some others have to face--it's enough to understand first hand that exercising is considerably more difficult at a heavier weight. Bodyweight exercises are tougher... cardio tires you out quicker... there's an extra toll on the joints... You're working harder at a heavier weight to get to the same place, and that warrants kudos and encouragement. I've nothing but respect and support for anyone whose aiming to lose weight and improve their fitness. And I honestly think that most of your fellow exercisers would think likewise.

I'd also consider that we've no way of knowing what those other folks looked like when they first joined the gym or hit the trails... a handful may have been in shape when they started, but that's the minority. Some of them started from the same place you did.
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Old 08-12-2010, 02:05 PM
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I like your post, Miss Devine. I am one who is always uncomfortable in my own skin. I have NEVER exercised in a gym until a year and a half ago. I was even uncomfortable walking and jogging on the street because i might be seen and someone might just THINK something insulting. I am uncomfortable in crowds in mingling settings.

I have been facing my fears, lately, and while I still get that panicky feeling, especially when I notice that someone is watching. The setting that I am in everyone watches each other. I've learned that it isn't out of judgment, it is out of learning. It is Kung fu training and the first REAL awakening was my first sparr with my Sifu. There was a line of other students on the opposing wall. I was mortified. Later, I realized, everyone lines up to see Sifu, not the poor soul facing him. Anyway, I face people watching me all the time now and I receive criticism and tips, all out of caring. Most everyone at a gym is probably thinking the same thing, like Cool, another soul trying to improve themselves, I wonder what she is trying or I wonder if they would like a tip that I have learned.

I still have to remind myself that few people are actually malicious. And even though I THINK people are thinking malicious things, I've always thought envious things of the people I see running, exercising hard, etc. BECAUSE they are out there DOING it.
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:53 AM
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What we need is sparkly pink bracelets that just say "I choose me"

I choose me over all the excuses, inertia, and bad habits that keep me where I am. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. (and my husband likes my new butt )
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:07 PM
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Thumbs up

Thank you for each and every post! They have made me realize a lot about my own fears. Most of all... thank you missdevine for bringing this up! =D <3
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:05 AM
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Originally Posted by missdevine View Post

however - in that very moment - i said "click - change that negative thought - how do i know they arent talking about how pretty i am? how do i know they arent commenting on the lovely skirt i am wearing - how do i know they arent commenting on the fact taht maybe they have never seen a fat person???

I have the same problems with negative thoughts. My father was very negative about my weight. He told me I would always be fat and it is genetics, and that I will have to work especially hard to keep from being "Like that guy over there" while he points at the most obese person he can spot. I was always told I was an endomorph and people don't like fat people and I will have a hard time getting a job because I am overweight, etc. etc. He has the best of intentions, just the wrong delivery. Instead of motivating me, he convinced me that I was going to be fat forever, so why try?

Well, when my horse died and I stopped eating meat, my weight plummeted. It dropped again when I cut out dairy and eggs, and again when I went mostly raw. I realized then that I had the control. My activity level shot way up as I discovered so many things to do with this new body of mine.

In January, I went to Puerto Vallarta for work and I had a form fitting tank top for the first time ever. When I put it on and look in the mirror, I think I look great. The second I look away from the mirror, I feel like I am HUGE again! I was very self conscious being in public in a tank top. If a woman was looking at me and smiled, I don't assume she is flirting, I assume she is smirking.

I may be thin now, but I still have the mindset of a fat guy and it is so hard to change the psychological aspects. People who were never overweight very likely have no idea what it feels like.

I am working on changing careers to become a personal trainer because I want to help others with their weight. I understand the psychology much better than the PT who has never had over 10% BF in his entire life. The difficulty in motivating oneself, the weirdness of a gym, the propaganda from society, etc. All those things are much bigger obstacles than most people consider.

Women do have it harder in Western society though. If you watch prime time, you can have an overweight man as a star without any problem, but rarely an overweight woman. It is more acceptable to be overweight as a man. I am not sure why. Maybe because guys have an obsession with size and they think if they are bigger, they are somehow more of a man? Or maybe it is because women are more accepting of an overweight man, but men are less accepting of an overweight woman?

I think the biggest problem preventing a healthy society is that the companies who are providing the education on health are the ones trying to sell everyone drugs to counter their health problems.
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Old 08-18-2010, 11:24 PM
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Okay....this is the first time for me on this thread and I love it. All the comments have been amazing and I have thoroughly experienced some medicine from the laughter at the wardrobe idea. I think it is a great idea too....having a bunch of us doing it would tell the world and ourselves that we are not ashamed to do what is good for me.....look at me all you want cuz I am gorgeous inside and I'm working on the outside too

Actually, for real, I see a change in the tide....after the biggest loser started I have seen so many people in my neighborhood and city walking, jogging, in the gym, that are very heavy and my husband told me about a couple of larger women he sees every night walking and running and he prays over them and is soooooo proud of them. If only they knew how many people thought like that too.

The mind is a very powerful tool. It can help you or hurt you and change does begin there first. We all seem to have our sense of challenges with that in one way, shape, or form so I am happy to see this site and people honestly confronting the fact that it is there and hopefully we can challenge and encourage one another with the positive stuff that is soooo much more the truth.

Here is to the moo crew! Positive people making positive changes hoping negative people will see that we are doing what is good for us and we proud of ourselves no matter what they might say, think, or feel.
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