THINGS I HATE ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS:
1. How everybody feels the need to share their dieting advice, and the quicker they are to share, the more unhealthy it's likely to be.
2. As my weight has gone down both my pant legs and my boobs got longer
3. When I was at this weight before, my figure was more hour glass like, this time my waist line is thicker (can't get rid of the baby bump) and I have the rear end of a 12 year old boy. WTF? Totally not what I was expecting.
4. Feeling hungry an hour after a breakfast that was 100 calories more than it should have been.
5. Having fantasies that involve a tablespoon and a brand new jar of peanut butter.
6. Having my mother tell me to stop dieting because I'm skinny enough. What she doesn't realize is that this is for the rest of my life and no amount of discussion is going to bring her around.
7. How everybody says they want to workout with me, but they never show up. I could really use a workout partner, so if you don't have any intention of showing up, don't tease me.
8. How all my favorite comfort foods are off the charts for calories and carbs.
9. Getting up starving in the middle of the night and having no calories left for a snack and then for a brief period of time throwing in the towel, and eating enough calories to undo 3-4 days of good behavior.
10. Having to face a crowd of skinny moms at school parties that firmly believe that kids should be fed nothing but junk food.
WHAT I HATE ABOUT BEING FAT:
1. Getting that red ridge across my stomach from the waistband on my jeans.
2. Owning underwear that are cute, but haven't been worn in years because they bite, and not in a good way.
3. Owning exactly one outfit that fits and can be considered dressy enough for a wedding, or a funeral. And of course either way it has to be black right?
4. Having little old ladies pat my belly and ask me when the baby is due.
5. Having to sit my butt on the edge of the van seat and make 2-3 bounce maneuvers to actually get situated in the drivers seat. I broke the seat of my last vehicle doing just that.
6. Having to gently sit down on the toilet seat, and continue to support a portion of my weight, because flopping down hard and putting my whole weight on the seat has been known to break them.
7. Having the energy to go full out for the whole day, only to wake up so sore from all the activity that I feel it for the next 3-4 days.
8. Having sore feet just from standing or walking.
9. Wanting to sit down all the time when everybody else is up playing with their kids.
10. Feeling like a heart attack is eminent rather than just a slight possibility.