You are in a good place for support. Even if your husband doesn't "get it," people here do, because we're living it.
It is fantastic that you are taking steps to do what you need to for your own health. That's a big step, especially for a young person, so congratulations.
I don't know about any reasearch on the "fat gene" but I think that people can and do make arguments for or against its existence. However, you always have a choice to control your actions
. Using the tools here will help you learn how to do it in a way that works for you.
There is lots of advice here; take what you want and leave what you don't, ask questions about what you want to know and ask for what you need...like you did tonight.
Finally, take one day at a time. Take one step at a time. Put those steps into a plan and you will get there.
I know there is more I should say but it is very late where I am and my brain is fuzzy.
Keep comin' back!