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Old 02-15-2010, 03:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
FitDay Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Glassboro, NJ
Posts: 30

Hi Devin, Stacey and StrongWlld,

It's so frustrating! But I have been thinking about the reasons I quit a lot this time, hoping to get answers and suggestions from others, too. I cut back my calories to no more than 1,500 (some days was 1,200 and others 1,500-depending on appetite) and lost about 1.5-2 pounds a week. That wasn't fast, but it was fairly steady, with a few plateau's along the way.

Even when I lost 22 pounds, I felt like a new person was emerging. I wonder if the fear of losing me as I knew me was really an issue. I kept thinking, I was a good person fat, why do I have to be thinner? This is ME. Yeah, too fat and unhealthy! I think as I would have gotten to use to the changes, that would have worked itself out....I know I would have gotten use to a new "me" with a little time. But I never got that far!

So what does happen to our drive and motivation? Maybe I never saw it as a lifestyle change, although that was the goal. Maybe I still saw it as a diet.....a means to an end, not the end itself. When does it really become a life-style change, not just another diet?? Not just a "I have to do this because I'm fat?" but instead "I want to do this every day because I deserve it?" Even though I said the latter to myself, it didn't matter, I still quit. Or does that never really happen for some people and we have to just keep faking it until we make it? It might always be a mental struggle, but we have to just DO IT anyway?

As for the addictive nature of sugar, I think it's true. I've gone to Overeater's Anonymous meetings and read the literature. I gave up sugar and white flour once for a few months and, again, lost about 25 pounds and quit when someone baked me a birthday cake! I had a harder time with the no-sugar diet than when I used FitDay and just used moderation/natural sugar, etc. I think junk food follows the same addictive route- the more of it I eat, the more of it I want. I'm never satisfied! I find that if I stick to fruits and other naturally sweetened foods, I'm fine, no cravings kick in. It's only processed foods and pastry-type sweets that send me over the cliff!

Whatever it is, it's really making me mad. I am once again taking the road to a permanent life-style change of eating better and losing weight knowing I really want it for a lot of reasons. This time, I am going to be very aware of the internal dialog that goes on every day, along with the stress I'm under, to help me avoid that wall or at least be able to get around or climb over it to keep going forward!

And strongwlld, you're absolute right! It was ME that screwed up! Probably for a lot of reasons that need to be dealt with once and for all! I need a plan, if someone offers me food, this is what I will do (and not be swayed)! Or if I start thinking I'm fine like I am, I need to cut that crap out, or at least say something that makes sense to me so I can move forward! But when the motivation goes, then what??? I need a plan for that this time, too!

And, I am very open to ideas and tips that would get me through the most difficult part of this process for me - the quitting stage!!!!

I don't want to be the "Fat Girl" anymore!

February 14, 2010

February 25, 2010 (12 days..heh love honeymoon stage)

- 3.6 lbs

April 4, 2010
199.9 lbs
SherryDarling is offline   Reply With Quote