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SherryDarling 02-14-2010 05:46 PM

Question about focus and mental setbacks
Hi, I am kinda new here. Have used FitDay for years tracking and losing/quitting and gaining. My last successful run was Aug. 2009-Nov. 2009 when I lost about 22 pounds, going from 217 to 195. It took almost 3 months to accomplish, but my mental state was strong and focused. I wasn't hungry and exercising felt good and productive. Then I don't know what happened! It doesn't really make any sense. I hit some mental roadblock that eventually made me give up completely. I have regained about 16 of those pounds and I am back on FitDay. After that much time, I would think the habit had been established and the fact I was seeing results (smaller jeans, compliments, etc.) that I would be even stronger. Something happens that makes me lose the initiative, the focus, the obsession. No amount of motivational talk has helped. Now I fear trying again...only to possibly fail months into it. Unless I can figure out a way to get through that time that somehow sneaks up on me and sabotages my motivation.

For those of you who have faced this and have overcome that obstacle, please, please tell me what you have done to get over that bump in the road and continue to lose weight. I would really appreciate hearing how you handle this successfully. Thanks! And Good Luck to everyone here trying and Congrats to those who have figured it out and been successful!!

cjohnson728 02-14-2010 06:40 PM

Hi Sherry :)

Well, you know how to lose weight; keeping it off was always my biggest problem as well.

What about staying on FitDay and continuing to log your food and exercise, as well as staying accountable on the message boards even once you reach my goal weight? I'm thinking that will help prevent a relapse.

Thinking about it as more of a lifestyle change for your health rather than a "diet" that is over once you meet your goal is also helpful for me. Your eating and exercising have to be something you can sustain for a lifetime, not just till you lose the amount you want to.

A lot of the threads have goals set, or weekly weigh-ins, so joining up with those keeps you accountable and may give you the motivation you need.

Don't sabotage yourself mentally before you even start. You know you can do this successfully. And if you do slip up, like we all do, just pick up and keep going. Whenever I used to eat something I shouldn't have, I would immediately think I had blown it and took it as an excuse to eat everything else I wanted that day. That wasn't good. Then I found the quote in my signature and that gets me through that kind of thinking.

Good luck!

SherryDarling 02-14-2010 07:13 PM

Hello, and thanks Cassie. I really love your signature and will hang onto it myself... I think I can overcome it if I have a plan for hitting that roadblock that defeats me every time...argh. There is a whole mental argument that happens in my head and usually wins! Typical stuff like: It's okay to just throw caution to the wind once in awhile (followed usually by a week or more of "throwing caution"). Or ridiculous stuff like: You are who you are, why try to change! (those are classics for me). All mental garbage, I know, that eventually throws me off track when I'm successfully losing weight.

This is my first time trying to reach out to others. I usually go it alone and you can see how far that has gotten me :rolleyes: I think I will try a little harder to ask for help when needed instead of believing the mental stuff that goes on down the road when I don't really want to quit. And maybe I can contribute a little about things I found helpful and successful when losing weight myself.

Thanks, and good luck to you, too. :)

Shell250 02-14-2010 07:37 PM

Hi Sherry,

I just started FitDay in January; but have tried various other weight loss programs over the years - with some success (short term success as I have never kept the weight off). I have felt desperate, impatient and so frustrated. But no more. I have to keep my head if I am going to do this!! :rolleyes:

This time, with FitDay, is different for me because I am educating myself on nutrition and changing the way I view food. Eating naturally, non-processed food most of the time. It is a complete lifestyle change for me and the changes I am incorporating are going to be changes I keep for life. I am trying to not deprive myself or attach the big guilt trip onto certain foods when I do eat them. All foods are OK, in moderation. Using non-food things to fill that "void" that I seem to reach for food to fill.

I think you will find these forums helpful; I sure have! :) As Cassie said, they provide motivation and accountablility, and also support.

All the best, keep posting!

SherryDarling 02-15-2010 03:00 AM

Thanks! It does seem to be very educational just to see what I put down every day in my food diary. I agree, it does need to be a complete lifestyle change and that's where the problem lies for me. I thought at one point I had accomplished that - made a lifestyle change. Even after months of feeling great, eating better, tracking, etc., I somehow STILL go way off track and give up on one of the best things I'd ever done for myself. I don't know what happens to make it fly out the window along with my mindset! And I would love to know how others handle it without giving up and then go on to lose 50, 60 or more pounds. I want to do it this time and make it STICK!! :mad:

cjohnson728 02-15-2010 03:19 AM

Have you thought about adding to your food and exercise journal the emotions and situations that make you eat and sabotage yourself? So many of us are emotional eaters...maybe if you looked a little deeper into why you eat, you could better figure out how to change it.

We all eat for different reasons. Some people sabotage because of a fear of success and what that might mean, crazy as it sounds. For some of us, eating is comfort, or reduces stress...could be anything.

SherryDarling 02-15-2010 05:24 AM

Hi Cjohnson,

You make a great point. I will try that. Stress is a huge factor; like many people, I definitely eat when stressed. Although I was already sliding, my efforts ended during a time of stress. And I didn't get back on track. I just lost the motivation, drive and focus. :mad:

I guess I know I will ALWAYS have stress and, sometimes, a lot of it. It can't be helped. But I still want to stay on a course of action and not put most of the weight back on afterward. I want to take better care of myself during those times, not worse. Being clearly aware of when and under what circumstances I gave up are really important to my success, aren't they?

I also like and agree with you about fear of success! As crazy as it sounds, I have had those thoughts. Who will I become? Will I look sick? How will it affect me and those around me? What's wrong with who I am now? There is a fear does seem crazy, but I can identify with what you said.

Thanks again,, really appreciated :) ...

Devinfear 02-15-2010 03:39 PM

Hi there, I feel your pain. I started losing weight about this time last year. I got on fitday, started on Wii Fit and was HARD CORE about it. I took my intake down from 4000 a day to 1200 a day. In about 3 months I went from 206 to 170 , droped from a size 38 to a 32. I was feeling great and my wife was loving the way I was looking heh. the past couple of months though the drive has just left me. I got on the scale this morning and was 182 !! I'm not really sure other then I just feel off the horse and am having a hard time getting back on.

staceyalberta 02-15-2010 04:14 PM

i'm not sure what it is. yes part of it is stress, BUT i was watching a show on weight loss dealing with a family & they went to a dr. & he said that carbs & simple sugars you know the junk actually changes the chemistry in our brain. i'm just paraphrasing so you are stressed out & eat those chips, or cookies or whatever & our brain chemistry changes so that we feel better. sooo his answer was to cut out the anyways not saying this as an excuse to eat junk, but just something to be aware of that stuff can actually act like a drug for some ppl. it sure can with me & heck that stuff isn't easy to give up. think about it an alcholoic can never drink again. they don't need alcholo to live right? but we have to eat, we can't just say fine i'll never eat

you'll do great. just know you are not alone. the good news is you are back & on track. focus on the positives.

StrongWilld 02-15-2010 04:46 PM

Getting back on the horse again, too
I think most of us can relate to this post. I, too, have seen my successes and failures. But, as I had read somewhere, "It's not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get back up". Losing weight is hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard. That's what is comes down to, really. I don't like being fat. It sucks. There's nothing positive about it. And even though I've lost 50 pounds this past summer and gained it all back and a little more, I cannot look back on it as a failure. What made me come off my program was ME. I mean, I could easily blame it on my friend who pissed me off and angered me to the point that I ate myself silly and didn't stop. I could blame my husband for bringing junk into the house when I asked him not to because I can't control myself. I have a million excuses, but it all boils down to how bad do I really, REALLY want this? What am I really willing to sacrifice?? How much do I REALLY love myself to want this more than anything for myself? Tough questions - but the realization is that I have not hit my goal or even come close to it. I will this time, because I don't like doing this yo-yo stuff to me anymore. It not only affects me, it also affects my family. I personally want some normal in my life right now. And being 140 pounds overweight isn't good for my health or my psychie. I've wasted enough time TRYING to lose weight. This time, I WILL.

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