Thanks for the support it' nice to hear advice from motivated people
I think my biggest problem stems from my all-or-nothing approach. Once I give in to eating something bad, I feel like I've ruined everything and I just keep going..... and so on. and it sucks and I hate it, but maybe it's this twisted self-sabotage thing I have going on. I think I want to feel bad and hate myself because that is my norm. It's totally twisted and I want to break the cycle.
I get into this funk sometimes where I'm just so disgusted with the way I look and the way my clothes fit, I end up tying my hair in a bun, no make-up, yoga pants, sweater, sneakers, and you can bet my ass isn't on the way to the gym!
I know what you're thinking, therapy. Been there, done that, didn't work. I have food issues and I feel like I'm going to for the rest of my life. Food is my best friend and my worst enemy. If I'm doing really "well" and starving I feel like I'm potentially a nano second from disaster if my strong will loses sight of my goal.