You sound really frustrated. I feel your pain, until recently I weighed 244 pounds, and I'm 6" shorter than you! And believe me I did look massively overweight. Unlike you I was fat before I had my girls, so I only had myself to blame for my obesity. I had gotten to the point where I accepted my weight and was determined to live a happy life, but I wasn't healthy in the least and I could feel myself slowing down and not being the mom or wife I want to be. For me attaining a healthy weight was such a hopeless goal that I really didn't believe it was possible. Seriously if someone had told me 6 months ago that today I would be 75 pounds lighter I would have snorted first then laughed my head off. It was completely unfathomable. But guess what? I am 75 pounds lighter. It is possible and fitday is a really great tool for getting there. I use the food portion to record every meal, I'm extremely honest, and I measure almost everything. I also use the activities portion to estimate my calorie burn and I make darn sure that the burn is around 1,000 calories higher than my intake, give or take. Some days are harder than others, but at the end of the week generally speaking I'm a pound or two lighter. I have about 49-50 pounds to go, but I feel pretty confident that I'm going to reach it and be able to maintain it for the rest of my life.
It takes time to get on track, and it takes time to get your cravings under control. So give yourself a time line, and make a plan. You can do this. Just think about how great you will feel when your kids learn healthy habits from you. I know that's one of the things that keeps me going and on track, that by living this way maybe my kids will never really have to battle the bulge quite like mom had to.
You might start with this easy exercise. Record your food intake for 3 days, don't diet, don't change anything, just record. Then study your habits, believe me you will be surprised by some of it. Then once you have an idea of where you're at, you can begin to make changes.
Deep breath, ready, set, go....
Starting weight: 244.6 lbs. 10/01/09
Pounds lost: 80.6 lbs
Current weight: 164 lbs
Goal weight: 120 lbs
Weight to go: 44 lbs
Goal Date: 1/1/13