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Rubystars 02-13-2012 07:52 AM

I almost regret losing weight now
 
I'm able to move around easier, breathe easier, I know I look better to most people too. I know my chances for developing some horrible disease are much less, but I've run into a big problem.

My arms have bat wings on them, my legs have loose skin, my chest has loose skin on it, and I just think it looks horrible. I thought I'd be able to wear shorts or a bikini in warm weather when I got down to a decent size but I wouldn't be caught wearing those things if my skin is going to look like this.

I want to start crying because I wonder why I thought losing weight was a good idea. I was just fat before now I'm fat and my skin is like this too. Was losing over 90 lbs really that good of an idea if it was going to do this to me?

I'm 33 but I feel like my skin looks older than that being all loose and stuff. Will this tighten up or will it just get worse and worse as I lose more weight?

I'm only a little more than half way to my goal weight, so before I was fat now I'm fat with loose skin too.

I've looked into plastic surgery for this but apparently the surgeries available leave visisble scarring which I want to avoid if possible.

I'm really angry with myself for ever letting myself get so heavy that something like this could happen to me. Even when I get to my goal weight my body will still betray the fact I was fat.

Absentha 02-13-2012 08:56 AM

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this, I think you've done a great job with your weight loss. I guess some people's skin is more 'adaptable' than other's. I'm no expert, but I guess if you try to increase your muscle mass, this loose skin will fill up a little bit. Maybe some specific exercises could help you tone those areas you commented.

Don't give up yet, you're an inspiration for many of us!

Rubystars 02-13-2012 09:59 AM

I don't know what exercise to even try to do to be honest. I have a physical job. I walk, climb ladders, and lift somewhat heavy objects all the time. Both my arms and legs are tired after I get home from work so I know I'm working both my upper and lower body.

There might be some specific exercises for these things but I'm really afraid I'm going to end up eventually needing full body contouring to look normal but then if I do that, I'll have scars and I don't know if I could even afford anything like that. I've heard it can cost $25,000, which I don't think I would be able to afford.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad if I'd inspired anyone else at all but I'm not feeling particularly inspired myself at the moment.

almeeker 02-13-2012 12:07 PM

I guess you need to ask yourself this question: You are going to have the skin no matter what, would you rather it be full of fat or not? I have similar issues, they've gotten a little better over time, but I'm never going to be a swimsuit model.

Rubystars 02-13-2012 12:52 PM


Originally Posted by almeeker (Post 72795)
I guess you need to ask yourself this question: You are going to have the skin no matter what, would you rather it be full of fat or not? I have similar issues, they've gotten a little better over time, but I'm never going to be a swimsuit model.

Even though I'm in my 30s I had still hoped I might be able to get married one day but I don't think anyone will be interested in marrying someone who only looks good when they cover everything up. I mean that wasn't an immediate goal but it was something I thought about sometimes. I knew at 300+ lbs that I wasn't very attractive to most guys I'd be interested in anyway but I thought if I lost weight I'd look better, not worse.

I really wanted to be able to wear tank tops and shorts in summer, but I now know I'll have to have t-shirts and slacks like always. :mad:

I wasn't looking to be a swimsuit model, just to look presentable, a human, not a sharpei, you know? I guess it's not quite that bad but it's bad enough to make me feel embarrassed about it. I wasn't trying to lose weight too fast, it just sort of melted off right at first. I couldn't control the rate of it. Once I ate a reasonable amount of food (1200-1800 calories) rather than 3000 calories a day like before it just melted off.

frenchhen3 02-13-2012 01:33 PM

Hey, Ruby. You are young. Your skin is elastic still. Give it some time, it will return. I looked up some of this online. I can't recall the links, but what I read stated that when you are "young" and lose a lot of weight rather quickly, that happens, but it will tighten up. No need for surgery unless you want "instant" results...The body will react and your skin will do what is supposed to in time. Your body doesn't want to look like a shar pei.

wildbeanerz 02-13-2012 02:32 PM


Originally Posted by frenchhen3 (Post 72813)
Hey, Ruby. You are young. Your skin is elastic still. Give it some time, it will return. I looked up some of this online. I can't recall the links, but what I read stated that when you are "young" and lose a lot of weight rather quickly, that happens, but it will tighten up. No need for surgery unless you want "instant" results...The body will react and your skin will do what is supposed to in time. Your body doesn't want to look like a shar pei.


I hope you are right! I am starting to have the loose skin under my arms, my inner thighs and my belly. I just keep telling myself to concentrate my exercise in those areas as much as I can and that having muscle under that loose skin has to help. I have also heard that it takes a while for your skin elasticity to catch up with your loss.

Rubystars 02-13-2012 02:44 PM


Originally Posted by frenchhen3 (Post 72813)
Hey, Ruby. You are young. Your skin is elastic still. Give it some time, it will return. I looked up some of this online. I can't recall the links, but what I read stated that when you are "young" and lose a lot of weight rather quickly, that happens, but it will tighten up. No need for surgery unless you want "instant" results...The body will react and your skin will do what is supposed to in time. Your body doesn't want to look like a shar pei.

Thanks Frenchhen. I probably shouldn't be panicing yet, but I've just never seen this much loose skin before. If it looks better in a couple of years that would be ok. Someone also PMed me a medicine that might help which is good.

wildbeanerz 02-13-2012 05:02 PM

I'll be having a discussion with my GYN on 2/27 about this topic to see what her thoughts are. If she says anything useful I will be sure to post it!

dar n 02-13-2012 05:47 PM

Rubystars I also have had a lot of saggy skin on my journey when I was at my 135 goal I started to notice that as I maintained the weight that the skin over my knees and my arms started to look much better as muscle tone started to show. I have had no success with the tummy bag of skin but it has gotten smaller as my weight has dropped so its now a small flap of skin. I am in my mid 40's so my dr said that it would probably require surgery to fix. On the man concern I was very aware and uncomfortable in my skin my hubby said it didn't both him at all that he was confused at how I could have less confidence and yet be so much hotter(his words) so I think confidence is more important then some loose skin. I have learned to deal with how I feel about it using lingerie and when I want to wear skimpier clothes their are some great control products out their that are very comfortable. My trainer calls the skin a badge of honor and it should remind me of all the work I have done. I am sure you will meet the right man and he will be impressed at the work you have done so keep doing what is working for you and I am sure most of that skin will fix itself and once you have maintained for awhile you can decide what the best course of action is for you.:) Your story is awesome and 90lbs is a fantastic lose, congratulations.:D

Rubystars 02-13-2012 06:44 PM


Originally Posted by wildbeanerz (Post 72839)
I'll be having a discussion with my GYN on 2/27 about this topic to see what her thoughts are. If she says anything useful I will be sure to post it!

Thanks I'm looking forward to hearing if she had to say anything helpful or not, even if she can recommend some kind of prescription cream.


Originally Posted by dar n (Post 72847)
Rubystars I also have had a lot of saggy skin on my journey when I was at my 135 goal I started to notice that as I maintained the weight that the skin over my knees and my arms started to look much better as muscle tone started to show. I have had no success with the tummy bag of skin but it has gotten smaller as my weight has dropped so its now a small flap of skin. I am in my mid 40's so my dr said that it would probably require surgery to fix.

Thanks for sharing about all that. At least I have some hope that it will get somewhat better, but I'm afraid it might get worse before it gets better since I still have a lot of weight to lose.

Congrats on getting to your goal weight :)

On the man concern I was very aware and uncomfortable in my skin my hubby said it didn't both him at all that he was confused at how I could have less confidence and yet be so much hotter(his words) so I think confidence is more important then some loose skin. I have learned to deal with how I feel about it using lingerie and when I want to wear skimpier clothes their are some great control products out their that are very comfortable. My trainer calls the skin a badge of honor and it should remind me of all the work I have done. I am sure you will meet the right man and he will be impressed at the work you have done so keep doing what is working for you and I am sure most of that skin will fix itself and once you have maintained for awhile you can decide what the best course of action is for you.:) Your story is awesome and 90lbs is a fantastic lose, congratulations.:D
Thanks for the advice and the praise.

I sometimes forget that I have lost a lot already because when I see myself in the mirror I still see someone who needs to lose a lot and so it's hard to feel any confidence about that.

frenchhen3 02-13-2012 09:48 PM

Rubystars,

I don't know if this will be of any consolation. But I have started to wear camisoles that are stretchy under my clothes and it really makes me feel a lot more confident. They are almost like the top part of a swimsuit...

VitoVino 02-13-2012 10:15 PM


Originally Posted by Rubystars (Post 72854)
I sometimes forget that I have lost a lot already because when I see myself in the mirror I still see someone who needs to lose a lot and so it's hard to feel any confidence about that.

That's the tough part, and I feel your pain. I lost about 30 pounds and at that point was more depressed about my situation than when I was heavier. It's the frustration of wondering about when you're really going to see that "light at the end of the tunnel". And you beat yourself up for once being the 'old you', the one that has put you in this situation. It's a very tough place to be, I know. Then add to that the (temporary) skin problem and it's all compounded. So channel this negative energy into something positive; strike back harder in your efforts. Exercise more, whatever. There IS a light waiting for you. :)

Rubystars 02-16-2012 11:29 AM


Originally Posted by VitoVino (Post 72884)
That's the tough part, and I feel your pain. I lost about 30 pounds and at that point was more depressed about my situation than when I was heavier. It's the frustration of wondering about when you're really going to see that "light at the end of the tunnel". And you beat yourself up for once being the 'old you', the one that has put you in this situation. It's a very tough place to be, I know. Then add to that the (temporary) skin problem and it's all compounded. So channel this negative energy into something positive; strike back harder in your efforts. Exercise more, whatever. There IS a light waiting for you. :)

Thanks. I think it's only temporary if I can somehow afford $25,000 surgery later which I don't know if I ever will, but at least I'll be at a decent weight one day. I went to a pharmacist and asked if there were any creams or even prescriptions that could tighten up loose skin and she said only surgery could fix that and that even toning exercises won't really do very much for it.

I'm planning on losing the rest of my weight and then waiting 2 years and seeing what I'm left with, it might not be as bad as I think it will be but if it's really bad to the point where I need surgery not to feel ugly that will still be frustrating.


Originally Posted by frenchhen3 (Post 72878)
Rubystars,

I don't know if this will be of any consolation. But I have started to wear camisoles that are stretchy under my clothes and it really makes me feel a lot more confident. They are almost like the top part of a swimsuit...


Thanks for the tip frenchhen. Right now my clothes are covering everything but it's good to know there are ways to hide it if it got worse.

wildbeanerz 02-16-2012 12:13 PM

I don't know if this would help you or not Ruby but there was a lady at my work who was thinking about having gastric bypass surgery. She is in her mid-late 50's and was very worried about the loose skin. Her doctor told her that if it became a problem that they could medically recommend she have skin removal surgery for her health to avoid chafing and infections and that if medically recommended that her medical insurance would cover it as a necessary surgery instead of refusing as an elective procedure.

I will probably go this route to get a breast reduction when I am done. My gosh, the girls aren't doing very well at defying gravity already. It's gonna be like a tennis ball in a sock until all my weight is gone! :eek:

Rubystars 02-16-2012 03:08 PM


Originally Posted by wildbeanerz (Post 73117)
I don't know if this would help you or not Ruby but there was a lady at my work who was thinking about having gastric bypass surgery. She is in her mid-late 50's and was very worried about the loose skin. Her doctor told her that if it became a problem that they could medically recommend she have skin removal surgery for her health to avoid chafing and infections and that if medically recommended that her medical insurance would cover it as a necessary surgery instead of refusing as an elective procedure.

I will probably go this route to get a breast reduction when I am done. My gosh, the girls aren't doing very well at defying gravity already. It's gonna be like a tennis ball in a sock until all my weight is gone! :eek:

I wonder if they would do that for someone who didn't go the gastric bypass route though. I guess the only thing I can do is ask around. I might have to doctor shop until I find one who would be willing to recommend the skin-tightening.

I don't think that bariatric surgery like gastric bypass is the right decision for most people. Effectively all gastric bypass does is help people to control portion sizes, in my opinion. You can do that yourself with calorie counting.

It makes people's stomachs smaller, so they can't eat as much, but you can choose not to eat as much with a healthy, normal stomach too.

If someone is severely overweight and needs to lose it quickly for health reasons, that's another matter, but I think for most obese people, calorie counting and portion control is the way to go over re-arranging your insides permanently.

I saw an ad on here one time for a fluid people drink that partially fills their stomach for several hours that is supposed to safely mimic the effects of gastric bypass without the surgery, people on youtube were talking about using it and saying it worked well for them. I don't remember of the name of it but I think something like that would be preferable to mutilation of the digestive tract.

The idea of that kind of internal mutilation just gives me the chills.

wildbeanerz 02-16-2012 03:16 PM

My GYN would probably recommend breast reduction for me as her hubby is one of the plastic surgeons in our area ;)

frenchhen3 02-18-2012 03:47 AM


Originally Posted by Rubystars (Post 73114)
Thanks. I think it's only temporary if I can somehow afford $25,000 surgery later which I don't know if I ever will, but at least I'll be at a decent weight one day. I went to a pharmacist and asked if there were any creams or even prescriptions that could tighten up loose skin and she said only surgery could fix that and that even toning exercises won't really do very much for it.

I'm planning on losing the rest of my weight and then waiting 2 years and seeing what I'm left with, it might not be as bad as I think it will be but if it's really bad to the point where I need surgery not to feel ugly that will still be frustrating.




Thanks for the tip frenchhen. Right now my clothes are covering everything but it's good to know there are ways to hide it if it got worse.

Ruby, my clothes are also "covering" everything. I guess what I am saying is that the camisole that I wear is a bit "huggy" and keeps the "loose skin" a bit more firm, and I feel tons better in the skin that I am in. It's not quite a spanx type firmness on a daily routine, but hmm, maybe a security blanket feel under my clothes. You know like the difference between wearing a regular bra and a sports bra, only on my whole torso? I don't feel like that loose skin is marching to the beat of a different drummer when I walk, etc.

Rubystars 02-18-2012 11:41 AM


Originally Posted by frenchhen3 (Post 73266)
Ruby, my clothes are also "covering" everything. I guess what I am saying is that the camisole that I wear is a bit "huggy" and keeps the "loose skin" a bit more firm, and I feel tons better in the skin that I am in. It's not quite a spanx type firmness on a daily routine, but hmm, maybe a security blanket feel under my clothes. You know like the difference between wearing a regular bra and a sports bra, only on my whole torso? I don't feel like that loose skin is marching to the beat of a different drummer when I walk, etc.


Thanks for the advice and the explanation :) I'll keep that in mind! I think I had forgot things like camisoles even existed because when I tried to find one in a store once, there weren't any in my size, but that was also 90 lbs. ago. lol

I still have a tendency to think of a lot of clothing items as "made for other people".

wildbeanerz 02-23-2012 10:01 PM

I hope this link isn't against the rules but I wanted to share it with you. I came across it on pinterest the other night and thought of you immediately..


Exercises To Tighten Your Body After Weight Loss | LIVESTRONG.COM

Rubystars 02-25-2012 07:03 PM

Thanks for the link. I don't know how much good exercises will do but it can't hurt.

tleect 03-18-2012 01:29 AM

I lost over 100 lbs over a year ago and I too was worried about my saggy everything. When I was gaining and got up to my peak weight, I never looked at myself. Now I look in a full length mirror every day. I am willing to get to know myself. I work hard to keep using the same tools I used to lose the weight but now to keep it off. I wake up physically feeling great which makes it all worth it! I would rather have the healthy body I have now over daily burden of moving around all the excees weight. I have gained my weight back in the past because I kept trying to be perfect. I celebrate being healthy and staying healthy. That's what works for me today.

RunbikeSki 03-18-2012 04:09 PM


Originally Posted by tleect (Post 76369)
i lost over 100 lbs over a year ago and i too was worried about my saggy everything. When i was gaining and got up to my peak weight, i never looked at myself. Now i look in a full length mirror every day. I am willing to get to know myself. I work hard to keep using the same tools i used to lose the weight but now to keep it off. I wake up physically feeling great which makes it all worth it! I would rather have the healthy body i have now over daily burden of moving around all the excees weight. I have gained my weight back in the past because i kept trying to be perfect. I celebrate being healthy and staying healthy. That's what works for me today.


amen

KoolKatUK 03-24-2012 12:47 AM


Originally Posted by Rubystars (Post 72804)
Even though I'm in my 30s I had still hoped I might be able to get married one day but I don't think anyone will be interested in marrying someone who only looks good when they cover everything up.

I agree with everyone here - your skin will tighten up in time and with moisturisers and the right exercises, it will tighten even more. It's natural you'll still have the loose skin right now if you're still in the middle of losing weight but don't let that destroy your motivation.

I also wouldn't worry about it getting in the way of finding a partner. The type of man who won't consider you because of a bit of loose skin is the same type of shallow man who wouldn't consider a woman because of her size. Would you want to be with someone like that?

You can do better than that and you need to keep reminding yourself of that if you want to find a man who'll love and respect you for who you are no matter what. :)

mydaywillcome 03-24-2012 04:20 AM

Quick Note
 
I just briefly skimmed over everyone's comments. They look really positive and true! One super important thing though, is weight and strength training. It will build your muscle giving your body more lean, and less sag. If you do core work outs, your stomach will get fit. If you do weight machines/use weights properly your arms will definitely get thin and toned up. I had the exact same fears, but it really makes sense that weight training will build up my muscle, making my skin get strong, and those parts of my body lean. Sorry if I'm copying what anyone else said!

njh50 04-04-2012 10:18 AM

Hi Everyone,

I find using a body brush or loofa in the shower and VIGOROUSLY applying moisturizer afterwards really improves the texture and appearance of skin. I am 50 and have had three children so my belly is not the prettiest bit of flesh, but at least it is well moisturized! To give skin the best chance of reshaping it needs to have a good supply of blood, and massaging cream in regularly seems to help mine.

shamans 04-05-2012 02:03 PM

You need to lose no more than 2 pounds per week. Otherwise, there is a risk for lose skin.


Even so .... you can still excersice. It will help. Also get surgery for it.



Cheers. :)

Rubystars 04-06-2012 03:59 PM


Originally Posted by shamans (Post 78294)
You need to lose no more than 2 pounds per week. Otherwise, there is a risk for lose skin.


Even so .... you can still excersice. It will help. Also get surgery for it.



Cheers. :)

This is kind of lame in a way because it's not like you can tell your body "You will lose no more than 2 lbs in a week". If you have a lot of extra weight and you start eating a reasonable amount of food and it just melts off right at first, then you really can't control that.

wildbeanerz 04-06-2012 04:10 PM

Ruby...I just wanted to second what someone said about the type of man who wouldn't want to be with you because of extra skin. That is part of you hunny and if he can't love all of you then he doesn't deserve any of you. :)

VitoVino 04-06-2012 05:20 PM


Originally Posted by Rubystars (Post 78386)
This is kind of lame in a way because it's not like you can tell your body "You will lose no more than 2 lbs in a week". If you have a lot of extra weight and you start eating a reasonable amount of food and it just melts off right at first, then you really can't control that.

Agreed. It really can't be controlled. There were times where I dropped 3 pounds in a week and I wasn't starving myself by any means. Just eating clean and exercising vigorously is what did it. And I didn't wind up losing that much as many here. I've bottomed out at around 40 pounds loss now (started in the 180's and now @ 139) and even though it's not that much of a drop, relatively speaking, even *I* have some loose skin here and there. Even though the loss was not that much, and the loss rate was nearly optimal most of the time. So this excess skin thing is really a crap shoot in my opinion. It seems inevitable.

Lizards13 04-07-2012 09:13 AM

Just wanted to say a couple of things.
1 I ruptured a triceps muscle many years ago which means that I have a HUGE bingo wing on my right arm that cannot be fixed without surgery but there would be a high risk of nerve damage so I learnt to live with it by wearing 3/4 sleeves in summer. It's more noticeable now that I'm slimmer but the overall look of my body is so much better that it now looks like an injury and not just an additional blob of fat.
2 I have a lot of strange scars on my stomach from surgeries so even without the flabbiness I wouldn't be wearing a bikini but again my silhouette in a swimsuit is so much better that I won't mind doing the walk to the pool.
Men who cannot see past some excess skin aren't worth bothering with, I'm not pretending that the first time unveiling yourself in front of him will be easy but pretty lingerie really helps. You are being way too hard on yourself, you've changed your life and should be enjoying the new you. Health, the ability to move around easily and an overall better appearance wins out over some loose skin. Keep up the good work.

whitney30 05-08-2012 09:59 PM


Originally Posted by Rubystars (Post 72791)
I don't know what exercise to even try to do to be honest. I have a physical job. I walk, climb ladders, and lift somewhat heavy objects all the time. Both my arms and legs are tired after I get home from work so I know I'm working both my upper and lower body.

There might be some specific exercises for these things but I'm really afraid I'm going to end up eventually needing full body contouring to look normal but then if I do that, I'll have scars and I don't know if I could even afford anything like that. I've heard it can cost $25,000, which I don't think I would be able to afford.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad if I'd inspired anyone else at all but I'm not feeling particularly inspired myself at the moment.

Hi Ruby,

I lost from 318 to 158 and am 5'10. I was 32-33 at the time. Everyone is different. But my skin did NOT bounce back. I did have 25k in plastic surgery. It is a personal decision. However, when I met my husband I had not had surgery yet. And he is fit and athletic and fell in love with me for me. I am not going to be modest here...with clothing on I was very striking, and naked I was very insecure about my body. But I was honest with him before we were intimate and he made me feel great about myself. I had the surgery for myself and for my clothing to fit better. It isn't any easy or cheep solution, but don't think you won't find love. Find your confidence and go for it. I still have lose skin on my arms and I just have learned to deal with it. I let myself get that heavy and I refuse to no wear tanks and sundresses. I live in TX and is HOT and we are on the lake a LOT. Most of our friends we boat with have "perfect" figures, and you know...I have accepted I don't/won't and they see me for me...not my figure. As for scarring..if you find the right surgeon it fades and is barely noticeable after a year or two...and I had a tummy tuck, breast lift and augmentation. So keep the faith and get healthier...it is worth some saggy skin...I'd rather be a saggy size 6 than a full size 26W anyday of the week!

Take Care,
TexasLady


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