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Old 03-16-2010, 09:40 PM   #1
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Lightbulb Eye Opening Moment-they don't come often enough...

...But when they do, it can alter your world. Please share an eye opening moment that might help the rest of us identify something important about ourselves.

I had a real eye opening moment last night. I was reading Julie Hadden's book Fat Chance, and had reached the chapter where she related her insecurities and daily difficulties in being fat. I had been comfortably reading for awhile, but I wasn't tired as the clock indicated that I should be. The book had captured my attention, and I was alert and still energized, but now I was hungry. I had only had a salad for dinner, but it was a huge salad with spring greens and romaine hearts, real olive oil dressing, roasted asparagus, grape tomatoes, and parmesan cheese...very satisfying. But my thoughts were wandering from the book, to mexican food. I was hungry! I told myself that was normal since it had been 4 hours since I ate that salad.

I went to the kitchen, and toasted flour tortillas with cheddar cheese on them. Here is the problem...just one didn't look sufficient. I made 4 tortillas, and used a piece of cheddar that was about the size of 75% of a stick of butter. I didn't even stop to weigh it, because I was so intent on getting that prep done, the cheese melted, and my "snack" in my mouth.

I brought my full plate back with me to my book to read. As I finished the plate, and continued reading, my eyes were fully opened to what I had just done. It had little to do with hunger, and less to do with providing my body with healthy resources. I was reading about the pain of being fat, and had distanced myself from that well written chapter that resonated so clearly with me, that I had run to the kitchen for distance from what I was feeling...a "commercial break" if you will. I couldn't have just sat there and concentrate on what I was reading. That was the problem. I couldn't deal with what I was reading, but was not aware I was having an overpowering emotional reaction.

I was far more uncomfortable than I had realized and had just caught myself in a clear episode of EMOTIONAL EATING. I had always told myself that I just ate too much for my activity level, but have not in the past taken the emotional eating thing seriously on a day to day basis. Sure, when I was distraught, I tended to want either high fat food or no food at all. I thought this was normal in times of extreme upset, and the fact that I could lose my desire for any food at all was an indication that I was not eating to sidestep emotion.

And here it was, right in my face. The book was dredging up my own feelings of insecurity and unhappiness. And I dealt with them by bingeing on totillas and cheese without thinking. I could have had a few almonds, or a glass of milk, fully satisfied my hunger and continued to read. But no...I had to have grilled cheese tortillas, not one but four! It seemed like a large snack or small meal at the time, but it was 850 extra calories! That's more than half my daily food, all in one compact snack.

Now, this morning my weight has increased, even after I had been so pleased to have hit a minor goal yesterday. I suppose I can look forward to hitting that goal again the second time around.

I want to remember this.

I am a full blown "heavy on the fat & carbs" EMOTIONAL EATER" !!!!!

Last edited by rockymtnsavvy; 03-16-2010 at 09:44 PM.
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Old 03-16-2010, 10:57 PM   #2
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It sounds like you have done a great job of using your insight and getting to know yourself and how you relate to food. I think that sounds like the beginning of a very successful journey. Good luck!

And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.
-John Steinbeck
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:05 AM   #3
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This time, you recognized it. Denial is a powerful demon. Now that you know, you can move forward. That's progress IMO.
If I keep starting over, eventually it will stick, right?

Starting weight:182
Current weight: 140
Goal weight: 135
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Old 03-17-2010, 02:03 AM   #4
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I think it's pretty amazing that you realized just what you had done and are now more aware of how this can happen to you. Years and years ago I gave up eating after 7:00pm for a diet that I was on. Well I gave up the diet not too long after, but have stuck to the 7:00pm rule. These days my biggest weakness is breakfast, I've been known to eat it 3-4 times before lunch.

One of my biggest ah ha moments came at a funeral. My brother-in-law lost his mother 4 years ago and his dad a few months back. Both of them died from complications due to obesity. During the wake dinner I realized that my brother-in-law and his sister are adult orphans, and both of them are younger than me. My brother in law is actually 10 years younger and just the thought of not having my parents around the last ten years made me realize that I do not want to do that to my own children. And since I got started on that whole baby deal rather later in life, I needed to get myself healthy and in a hurry.

At the time of the funeral I was already dieting, with the usual sort of effort I give it every New Year. But since that day I've taken it much much farther than before, I'm getting hard core about my own health, and the health of my whole family. Of course they are treating me like a crazy person, but they do that anyway. I've made a commitment to myself to live a full, long, healthy life and I'm taking responsibility for it in a way I never imagined before. I want to meet and be close to all my grandchildren and a good majority of my great grandchildren. I want to be here on this planet until I'm good and ready to die and not one minute less.

Last edited by almeeker; 03-17-2010 at 02:11 AM.
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Old 03-17-2010, 02:42 AM   #5
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I had an *aha* moment at aquafit three weeks ago....we were doing our usual exercises and the instructor who wasn't in the water with us...was trying to get some people motivated. Some weren;t doing the exercises the right way...well the instructor said... " your only cheating yourself" . I stopped and looked at her and thought .........shes so right!!! I have that in the back of my mind all the time now. When I see a snack I want to eat..when I want to shorten my exercises..for everything! Im only cheating myself!
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Old 05-08-2010, 06:20 PM   #6
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My major eye-opener to NEEDING to lose weight rather than wanting to was when my dad at 49 had a minor heart attack. He survived and is well-thank you God but im so much like my fathers side of family. He isnt obese-if he was he may not have survived but all my cousins and aunties-grandad and grandma all have weight and heart problems. As well as the weight issue i have my fathers temper and stress so much its scaring me. Its like an automatic switch that i turn on for no reason-with the kids and my partner. No violence id like to add- just raising the roof!! This though is being dealt with and im learning to find ways to relax and not get angry so quickly.
So my dads heart attack helped me step back into weightwatchers last June just 3 weeks after it happened and i lost 3 stones in 6 months! I then left the meetings because i couldnt afford it and thought id be able to do it on my own. I gained 6lbs since december but im now back to the weight i was when i left and ready to get my last 2 and a half stones off. A wake up call to realise just how quick the unexpected can happen. Like everyone i want to be happy and healthy for my kids,myself and my fiancee.
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