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-   -   On the cusp of making a risky life-changing decision (https://www.fitday.com/fitness/forums/support-group-just-women/6443-cusp-making-risky-life-changing-decision.html)

AbbyG1 01-24-2012 06:32 AM

On the cusp of making a risky life-changing decision
 
Hi, I'm new to this forum and would welcome feedback about a decision I'm seriously thinking of taking. I'm 50 at the end of this year, over 100lbs overweight and have been miserable for the past 25 years due to my serious weight problems. And when I say miserable, I REALLY mean miserable. I want to quit my job and think of the next 11 months as being time just for 'me'. Meaning, I am going to think of improving my body/mind as my full time job for this period, and make this my number one goal. It's risky because friends are worried that I may find it difficult to get another job as the economic climate in the UK is very dire at the moment. But my thinking is that if I dedicate this relatively short period in my life to getting myself slim, and more importantly healthy, then a job, any job, will come about in its own good time. I don't have the drive or energy to work full time and diet and exercise, and the thought of giving myself the time to cook good, healthy, fresh food daily and swim/take exercise classes/go for long walks, etc, seems like a real luxury I should take if the end result will be positive. I live alone so have no-one else to consider in my decision making process. Friends have not been encouraging, saying that I've never been able to stick to a diet before so why should this time be any different, and worse, I'd have given up my job for nothing and used up all my savings to support myself during this period of self improvement!!! However, I think I can do it, I feel ready to make this once in a lifetime huge commitment to myself, and if I end up slim and healthy then I won't mind being broke at the end of it.
Some feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Abigail :)

handcycle2005 01-24-2012 06:45 AM

I agree that with the current economic situation, quitting your job could be very risky. Couple that with your age and I don't think it's a viable solution. Also, a prospective employer might consider the reason you took off as being frivolous and it would be a further black mark when trying to re-enter the job market.

What will you do when you go back to work and you no longer have all the extra time to cook?
Better to learn how to incorporate exercise and healthy eating into your current schedule.

SPAMLEY 01-24-2012 07:25 AM

Hi. I'm new too, only been here a few days and I have about 140lbs to loose plus a bit more (!). What about thinking along the lines of giving this forum a try to boost your motivation and self esteem for a while before giving up what you have already? Current climate is really difficult for work and money and it would be dreadful if you felt down about personal issues and then had other worries too. For now, try the forum and see how you go? Good days and bad days no doubt but I am sure you can be of huge support to us as well as all the members offering support. No reason to think you wouldn't stick to a diet - it only takes that one opportunity and you are on your way to feeling good, even a few pounds down. I think i am down about 2-4 in nearly a week or so and I feel so good that it hasn't gone up. Think positive and we're all here to help. L

traceymc1985 01-24-2012 09:22 AM

Hi Abigail welcome aboard- i think that by the positive attitude that comes across in your post tells me you are ready in yourself to do whatever it takes to turnaround your lifestyle. I understand that you might find it more challenging to work full time and be committed to diet and exercise but the weight loss will come. Start with just the basics and use fitday. Log in everyday whatever time of day you can and let us now how you get on.
With exercise and classes- save money and get a good exercise dvd that you can do perhaps before work or on an evening when you grab a spare half hour. Try and add extra exercise into your daily life- walking to the shops instead of the bus/car- this will be easier when the weather picks up. Maybe take up going for a relaxing swim on weekend?
On an evening when cooking a healthy meal- do an extra portion and store it in the fridge for lunch next day at work?? I agree that being able to see you are able to lose weight and making it fit into your lifestyle will help you feel more positive when you reach goal weight. You can do it! Diet and exercise has to fit in with individuals in the best way that works for them and i prefer a healthy lifestyle to a 'diet'- its important that the hard work we put in to losing the weight is maintainable and once you get into the practice and make small changes at a time these will become more natural and it all gets easier. Dont quit your job and regret it further down the line- its a big decision.
Good Luck
Tracey x

RunbikeSki 01-24-2012 11:00 AM

Hi Abby,
You know I have considered this very same thing a couple of times over the years - it seems like a dream come true. And I have sort of tried it for a month or 2 at a time between jobs or school.

Here's what I found:
1 Living alone (as you do) w/out work was a very lonely experience. All my friends work or were in school so there was no one to play with during the day. And I lost the social interaction available at work.
2. Although I had time to cook, after the first week or 2 I found that all the planning, cooking, and otherwise obsessing about food was boring and to some extent self-defeating. The more I thought about food, especially the stuff I "wasn't allowed" the more I went off program and ate.
3. If I don't have a schedule that exercise has to fit in, it is so easy to say that I would do it later... and guess what? I never did.
4. I love going to the spa to be pampered from time to time. But going frequently (assuming one can afford it) also get's boring. I just need a lot more intellectual stimulation that choosing a nail color.
5. Not having something that made me feel useful or a contributor to society increased my normal inclination towards depression. Once mild depression set in, all the grand plans and goals just fell by the wayside.

In short, the experiment failed for me. I not saying that it will for you, but it probably will not be as easy as you imagine.

Maybe rather than a year, you could take a 4 week leave of absence. Or maybe reduce your work hours rather than give it up altogether. Fitting all the pieces together is really hard, but I am pretty sure you can do it with less drastic modification.

Best of luck to you - whatever the path you choose.

Kay_in_PA 01-24-2012 12:29 PM

I agree with Pam mostly because I struggle the most with my eating over the weekends when my time is less structured. Also, losing weight takes an ongoing effort. You can't do it in a big year long push and then step back into your busy working life and expect to maintain the results. Maintaining weight loss is tough under any circumstances. In my opinion, it is tougher than losing the weight. I think that to be successful over the long haul you have to figure out what is sustainable. Although it may feel like you don't have the energy now, you may be surprised by how much energy you gain once you start making healthy food choices and exercising.

frenchhen3 01-25-2012 01:24 AM

Here's my feedback. You DO have the time to diet, if you have the time to eat now. You DO have the time to exercise. Everyone does. The motivation has to come from YOU and you have to work it into your life. You are on the right track of making yourself a priority. So do that... make yourself a priority. It takes 5 minutes to cook a chicken breast for lunch. What are you going to do with the other 1435 minutes, seriously? Cook enough once or twice a week to pack for leftovers when you cook, pack it up BEFORE you serve dinner... and stick it in the fridge and take it with you to work. Eating your own food at work will be such a thrill. SO Motivating!!!

Get dressed to your fitness shoes on your days off... and then go out and walk. You don't have to go to fit-classes to be fit. Walk. Walk. Walk. 2 miles takes about 45 minutes going relatively slowly. Plus you meet people on your walks, you are outside getting fresh air, vitamin D, and moving around!

My biggest motivator was to buy a pedometer. The one I have isn't too fancy, it might have cost about 30 US dollars. It motivates me to move around. "Gotta get my steps today!" Just moving around is good. Just right now, Make yourself a priority. You don't have to quit your job to do that.

AbbyG1 01-25-2012 10:29 AM

Great responses!
 
Can I say a huge thank you to those who have taken the time to respond to my post. I think everything you're saying is valid and confirms what my friends have already told me, the exception being that they aren't as positive as you guys. They've seen me fail so often that it's a case of "we'll believe it when we see it". I think I'll take RunbikeSki's advice and try to take a month's unpaid leave from work to give me the time to kick-start my new healthy approach to life, at least I can get a weekly menu set up and cook batches of food to freeze, start some form of exercise, etc. The good thing about a site like this is the feedback you get from people who are in a similar situation (or have been in the past) and can give you advice based on their own experiences. For this reason I'd be so stupid to ignore the fact that the overwhelming consensus is to NOT give up my job!! Now that I've found this forum I shall use it regularly and post my progress on a monthly basis. I don't want to weigh myself more often than that as I'll get too obsessive!!!

Once again, many many thanks to you all for responding.

Abigail

Starting Weight: 240lbs
Starting BMI: 45.3
Age: 49
Height: 5' 1"
Goal Weight: 140lbs

traceymc1985 01-25-2012 10:39 AM

So glad that we were a help and you have been able to make a decision that you feel is right for you- keep us updated with your progress and anything else we can help you with just ask- always here to support you along the way
Tracey x

RunbikeSki 01-25-2012 10:49 AM


Originally Posted by AbbyG1 (Post 70093)
Can I say a huge thank you to those who have taken the time to respond to my post. I think everything you're saying is valid and confirms what my friends have already told me, the exception being that they aren't as positive as you guys. They've seen me fail so often that it's a case of "we'll believe it when we see it". I think I'll take RunbikeSki's advice and try to take a month's unpaid leave from work to give me the time to kick-start my new healthy approach to life, at least I can get a weekly menu set up and cook batches of food to freeze, start some form of exercise, etc. The good thing about a site like this is the feedback you get from people who are in a similar situation (or have been in the past) and can give you advice based on their own experiences. For this reason I'd be so stupid to ignore the fact that the overwhelming consensus is to NOT give up my job!! Now that I've found this forum I shall use it regularly and post my progress on a monthly basis. I don't want to weigh myself more often than that as I'll get too obsessive!!!

Once again, many many thanks to you all for responding.

Abigail

Starting Weight: 240lbs
Starting BMI: 45.3
Age: 49
Height: 5' 1"
Goal Weight: 140lbs

That sounds like a great plan, and as tracey said, we are here for you. Plus many of us would just like to read how your plan goes. I suspect there may be a few others who would like to follow in your shoes :p.

SPAMLEY 01-25-2012 04:20 PM

Sounds like a good plan has been made and maybe after that leave of absence you will feel more positive in yourself and had a chance to step back from your job and look at things a bit more objectively. Good luck with the first step in a life changing plan. Look forward to the updates!


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