Hey Cassie,

You've had a lot of stressful jobs to muddle through lately. It's completely understandable that they have left you feeling a little off kilter. Your goals look great, and vacation is almost here. Look at where you were a year and a half ago with food and fitness and be proud of all that you have accomplished. Girl, if I can wear my bikini, you can, too!! ;)

How was the pie???? Still looking for my virtual fork... lol

Mike, glad you got your Blast. Mmmm, your jambalaya looked delicious! How'd you learn to cook? Self-taught?

Cassie, your strawberry pie pic looks like a work of art! Great that you got a lot of work done, enjoyed the scrapbooking, and came in good on your food, even with that yummy looking pie. Congrats to ya! I just saw your post about the scale. Maybe it'll fall off quickly if you stay focused. I hate that when I think I made a good choice at a restaurant and then get home and find out it was a mistake. But at least when it's really a well-intended error, it's more easy for me to forgive myself. Hope you can, too. I know you can do this! We'll all be rooting you on.

Rubystars, that would scare me away from shrimp, too--undercooked. I love shrimp, but even frozen is really pricey here in Ohio, so I very seldom have it.

Hope, best wishes with DD. Reminds me so much of my daughter when she was younger... good for you for not dancing around her feelings. My DD didn't have brains at 22, either. It was more like 30, but guess what--she now has the same rules for her two teenage daughters as DH and I had when she was their age--only back then she thought we were horribly overprotective and unreasonably strict. Aw, I hope you can get away for a couple days--that would be so nice.

Joanna, how long will you be gone--to grad school, I mean. When are you leaving? Are you returning to Illinois after, or permanently relocating? You've probably posted it and I either missed it or forgot? What's your major?

Jjeand, I just ordered new bras today--know what size I need in my favorite cheap Playtex style and was able to order them online. LOL on DD pushups--I guess some women really like showing them off--but couldn't that poke someone's eye out? LOL

Mary, I cracked up over your "that we all live through it till they get a brain." Truer words were never spoken. Wow, an unfair muzzle order--that sucks! Ooh, you're so close to that 160's decade. I'm rootin' for ya!

Terri, I just love that pic of you and bf. You look so happy together! Hey, a C for food on vacation is fantastic. Congrats to ya on all the walking, too! Also, kudos on getting right back to goals so quickly. You go, girl!

Amy, thanks for your encouragement with my Y exercise. :) Aw, I've got almonds in the freezer and forgot about making my own almond meal--it really is a whole lot cheaper than buying it. I can get whole, unsalted almonds for $4.99 a pound. Ooh, congrats to you and girls on all the awards! Enjoy that camper! Kudos for doing well on food at the fair! Best wishes on the portion control.

Quinn, I don't think there's any veggie DH and I don't like, either. Great that your FIL keeps you supplied. :) I can understand your DH not wanting to grow veggies now. I think that's why my Mom, who had to quit school at 16 to help on the farm, never canned anything once she left home--had her fill of it. Ooh, nothing like fresh eggs. My sister and I used to gather eggs for Grandma--so much more flavorful right out o' the coop. Yeah, I want to give a few chickens a try, too--but on my gas grill. LOL

Mern,

I learned from my mom. The jambalaya wasn't entirely from scratch, also I've done that before. I've always loved to cook and everyone seems to enjoy my cooking so it works out well.

Mike, wow, that's great that you learned to cook from your Mom. Well, not everything has to be entirely from scratch--sometimes it's just plain not necessary, and sometimes it's nice to treat ourselves to some extra convenience. :) Nice that you can treat others to your delicious dishes!

Hey Mern, I'm going to be doing a PhD. program in astrophysics out at Penn State, should take me about 6 years. So, I consider it a permanent relocation :) I'm not originally from Illinois, been here just over 5 years - worked for awhile, did my undergrad (finally.) I've had a pretty nomadic life - before Illinois I lived in Alaska, British Columbia, Minnesota, New Zealand and the list goes on! I just look at this as yet another step along the way :)

I'm really excited about getting to the point where my clothes are too big for me - that will be a first! I won't even care if bras are the first to go!

Also, I think I finally got my blood sugars under control (knock on wood)! I'm needing way less insulin now than I used to need, so I'm considering that the first big plus of this journey. Also, I'm now taking in fewer calories since I'm not constantly fixing low blood sugars! Thanks for the encouragment.

Cassie, keep your head up! My day has sucked as well. I can't seem to get in a few good days of eating before I go off the deep end.


My confession...

I have been having a bad struggle lately with food. At one point I had this under control, now I just give in with the littlest pressure. Many times I cause the pressure. Y'all know how I am with the "food porn", well it's really like that. I start thinking about smells (like the smell of peanut butter), textures (like the crust of the cobbler), temperatures (like an ice cold blast hitting my tongue) , sounds (like a big piece of meat sizzling on the grill) and it's game over. I have become my own worst enemy with this. I think about and crave food, bad food all day. I really don't know how to get past this. I eat when I'm not even hungry, but it seems like I'm hungry most all the time.

The highs and lows with food are like a manic depressive with life. I swear the other day when I went to Sonic for a blast my mouth was watering on the ride. I pull up to order and a rush comes over me, I'm smiling from ear to ear, you can hear it in my voice. My palms get clammy as I wait (impatiently) for them to make it. I devour it as if I'm afraid that someone's going to take it from me. Before I know it, it's gone. I'm not satisfied, and now I start to wonder why in the hell I just did that! I really don't know what's happening or how to get past this. I haven't been depressed, other than after I gorge.

The thing that gets me is that for the past 2 years I've been in control of my food. My head was strong, my will was strong. Now food controls me. The part of me that wants to resist is slowly fading away. I really fear that I need to get a handle on this asap, I just don't know how.

Mike, I'm very obese, and admittedly from overeating, and eating whatever I wanted, and in unlimited quantities, but I don't have any experience with displaying outward signs of compulsion such as sweaty palms, and devouring food so quickly. Others may be able to lend you more insight and advice. Best I can think of is that some real counseling may be in order, or perhaps a local chapter of Overeaters Anonymous. I hope you can get a handle on this quickly. Big hug to ya!

Joanna, wow, how impressive! Another step along the way for the well-educated world traveller! My hat is off to you! Did you get a grant to continue your studies? I'm guessing Penn State must be prestigeous place to complete your PhD. Do you have a career goal? Like maybe NASA? Congrats on your weight loss and on getting your blood sugars under control. You surely worked hard on both of those!

Mike,

Were you having trouble before your back injury? It's really common for people with spinal injuries to gain weight partially due to lessened activity but mostly due to the emotional stress and anxiety that that sort of injury produces not to mention some depression. Not only the extreme pain causes stress, but then your mind starts saying, "Will I need surgery?" "Will I be able to work?" "Will I get better?" It's one of the most stressful injuries that you can have. Even after the pain goes away, you've gone through something kind of scary.

Give yourself a pass, and then tell yourself that being healthy is the best way to heal and move on.

I know that you have a great deal of dedication within you... dig deep... it's right there under the surface! Like I said to Cassie, look where you were one and a half to two years ago! Be proud of all that you've accomplished and don't give that up for anything.

I know you can get back on track. Now about that jambalaya recipe... ;)

... and what is the difference between jambalaya and gumbo?????

Thanks ladies! This did start when I started having back issues. I don't know how I missed that.

Gumbo is a soup on top of a little rice, jambalaya is mainly rice. That was actually a zatarains (brand) mix that I doctored up with my own spices, rotel, etc. You probably can't get it in your neck of the woods. If you want I can ship you a couple boxes.

This Week's Goals:

*Keep calories under 1200 995 (can't eat when it's hot)
*Keep BMI under 20. Y
*Walk daily, no excuses. 3 miles
*Eat, at a minimum, 4 fruits and veggies a day. N
*Limit bread to 2 servings of 45 calorie variety. None
*Take multi-vitamin, flaxseed oil and vitamin e daily. Y
*Drink, drink, drink! Y
*Be more patient during heat wave... remember: EVERYONE'S HOT!!! Yes, much improved. ;)