moremama

Hi guys! I am a 40 yo mom trying to lose baby weight. My background is I have always had weight issues & had gastric bypass back in 2003 & lost 111 lbs. I am 5' 8" and got down to the 180s & then pretty much stayed there although I have yo-yo'd somewhat. At 39 I underwent IVF & had baby #2 (my 1st son was 14 yo at the time). Neither of my pregnancies were easy & although my 1st pg I only gained 15 lbs I did have gest. diabetes. This time no diabetes but severely anemic. I gained 25+ lbs but I don't know how much total b/c I swelled up bad the last month & quit weighing myself. Here's the kicker- both babies I breastfed & both I gained weight AFTER having baby. After this one I was within about 15 lbs of my prepregnancy weight & then I started packing it on. I am now 30+ lbs from my prepregnancy weight. I tried dieting a few months ago & used fitday & after 5 weeks of less than 1500/day I only lost about six pounds & was very discouraged. Plus I gained it back in just a few days! The pregnancy did leave me very vitamin deficient (iron & D) & I have been working very hard to bring my levels back up. I am also making an effort to do some type of daily exercise to help rev my metabolism.....drinking lots of water....my diet is high protien, low simple carb, moderate fat, less than 1500 cal per day. I think I am doing the right things but mostly I need to know 1)I am not crazy for thinking having a baby messed with my already wonky metabolism, & 2) just need some sympathy/support. So if you have read all the way through this post-Thank You! & if you have any suggestions for me I welcome them

Kathy13118

I think that one thing that jumps out at me from your post was that you kept within your range of calories, lost some weight but it was slow, and then you gained it back! Sounds way, way too familiar - I have read this story on the message boards of dozens of diets. All proclaiming that other diets have made you fat but this diet doesn't... any diet ... followed by agonizing recalls of temptations and 'falls' and WOEs and successes swinging wildly from large weight loss (usually put back on) to small (why does it take that long!).

Instead of the painful recounting of weight gain, surgery, and diets, what can you learn from the experience of losing some weight and then putting it back on?

It can come back on practically in a matter of days - there is no shortage of good food, good meals, good recipes, all attached to good memories and good company and good feelings when you eat! But that's so easy to explain how weight comes back on. It comes back on for everybody. All different kinds of ways.

Dieting is just dieting. No diet is special, no diet is the answer. Some diets are healthier than others, but then people argue about that. Some diets are downright unhealthy, but you're willing to do them for as long as a month, just so you can see that weight 'drop' off. You don't know if you're hurting your health, you DO know, if you're reflective for a moment, that the weight's not going to stay off without hard work and tenacity. You're just going to bounce back up in weight, as surely as all the messageboards for diets will show you.

So, why not just be patient, watch your calories, take the guidance any dietician can give you (no imbalances, nothing but middle of the road stuff and respecting calories) and watch the weight come off in the time it takes for it to come off, with constant vigilance on your part?

Remember how Abigail Van Buren or Ann Landers used to say, to someone who would say, 'I can't go back to school to get my degree - I'll be 50 years old when I get the diploma...' The advice columnist would say, 'So, how old will you be when that time passes and you don't have your diploma?'

In essence, how long it takes is not the issue - how long the degree takes to get. That time's going to pass, with or without your effort. So, if you just make the simple, conservative, unhurried effort to do what works, slowly but hey, everything takes time, then you will get there, just in time, as long as time takes because time takes time.

Same argument applies to weight loss. I go to Weight Watchers meetings and listen to people complain that they are up a pound. Then next week, they are down a pound, then the next week, they are down a half- pound. At the end of three weeks, they are still down half a pound. What would they be down if they weren't trying to diet. (Needless to say, if they really follow the diet to the letter, it's usually more weight than that on a weekly basis - but a week is a long time, 21 meals AT least, and every one is an opportunity to eat on track or overeat...)

I don't mean to imply that these people piddle away their time, losing tiny amounts at most. I mean they spend the time and they get SOMETHING, even if it is a half-pound. There are success stories every week, going as high as 50 - 100 pounds. That's not because of the diet. That's because of the consistent effort of those particular Weight Watchers. Never, NEVER, has one said, 'Oh, yeah, and it only took me three months!' Whatever it took, if they reached a goal, they come back to maintain. Because that's the name of the game - maintain!

You could have maintained that small amount you slowly lost. But you didn't. So, the real question is, how you gonna do that? How are you going to lose a little, maintain, lose a little more, maintain, and do that all the way to the weight you want to be? It's the ultimate challenge of a diet - any diet!

Best of luck with it! Thousands of dieters fail on any diet. Thousands succeed. It's not the diet.

almeeker

I don't think it's out of the question to think that a pregnancy followed by breast feeding messed with your metabolism. Good grief the little monsters mess with everything else, makes perfect sense to me. I gained weight while breast feeding as well, mainly because I had constant cravings for things I don't normally eat, it was much worse than when I was pregnant. So you're not alone there either.

What I'm getting from your post is that you are doing something active every day to boost your metabolism, but are you really pushing yourself to exercise? To me "exercise" and "being active" are not the same thing at all. Exercise is an hour of full-on heart pumping, muscle burning, sweat dripping in your eyeballs. Whereas "being active" might be walking in to the store from the far end of the parking lot, or taking the baby for a stroller ride around the block or a couple of hours of light housework. In this arena I'm something of an expert. For most of my adult life I was fit-fat, on the go all the time, never sat down for more than 15-20 minutes, yet I was morbidly obese. My body is well used to being active, and I was regularly at the gym 1-2 hours/week. So in order to move the scale I had to bust my butt exercising 4-6 hours/week, because being active with a minimal amount of gym time just wasn't enough.

The other things I would suggest is to get a scale and weigh your food, don't eyeball it. And you might also take a look at your calorie pie chart. Are too many of your calories coming from carbs? Are you getting enough protein? Are you getting enough water? 64oz baseline + an additional 8oz for every 10lbs you want to lose.

kajajo

First of all I have to say God Bless you for having a baby at 40. I had my first in my early 20's but my other 2 well into my 30's and that was a chore. After reading your post I have a couple of things to say. First of all are you still breast feeding? Second you are now in your 40's and it becomes much harder to lose weight once you hit that age. If you are no longer breast feeding you may need to drop your daily calorie intake unless you are doing more than just being active. My doctor told me for someone my age 1500 calories would only maintain not lose, she put me on a 1200 cal diet and I still gained with no excercise. When I am able to run 10 k a day the 1200 is just right, when I am not as is the case now because I am recovering from foot surgery then I have to drop it to 1000 - 1100 calories a day. Age unfortunatly is relative to weight loss, something none of the experts seem to take into consideration. Good luck and enjoy your baby.

cjohnson728

Adding weight training can do wonders for your metabolism. I'm on the backside of 40 by 3 years and doing the work with the weights twice a week lets me get in a few more calories daily than I would otherwise, just because there's more active muscle tissue. I'm sure it's not a huge difference (like equal to a daily hot fudge sundae), but every little bit helps.