I have had a tough week, haven't eaten nearly enough because of working nights, and haven't slept nearly enough either. It would be so much easier if I could stick to the same schedule on the weekends, but I have to be super mom running kids all over the place. I have a nice relaxing weekend planned, now that hockey is over for the season I won't be spending as much time in arenas smelling concession french fries. I am so close to losing the first 20 lbs that I want to be good this weekend and stick to my plan. I haven't even logged my food the last couple of days, I know I have been way under in calories so thats not the concern, but I should try to do a better job of logging and eating better.
The good news is I finally got into a size smaller jeans without ripping anything and without laying on the bed to force the zipper up. This opens up a whole new section of my closet that hasn't been ventured into in a couple of years.

Hi Dee, sorry spring hasn't arrived for you yet, I enjoyed a lovely walk around the park of a stately home in sunshine. If you've read my post today you will see that yesterday was not good but I knew we would have one evening out over this weekend, still I went a bit mad and ate way too much rich food, in fact I felt quite ill later. So today is all about cleansing my system again, I think if you only have one bad day you can get back on track but if you let it slide for a couple of days it's too easy to lose your focus.
Congrats on the jeans, I know you are tall, do you have long legs or a longer body. Unfortunately besides being small in height I also don't seem to have much body between my waist and boobs and as gravity sets in the gap is getting smaller. When I get to my final goal weight, I'm going out to buy new bras with lots of uplift. :-)

Bright and sunny out today and -5 C, apparantly its going to be cold until at least the end of this week. Not going to worry too much about my running though, got a call from the orthopedic surgeon and they had a cancellation so I am having my foot surgery on the 26th of April. Means I won't be at work for at least 6 weeks but will be all worth it in the end.
Lizzie I am all legs, sitting down I look like a shrimp, and there is no space between my waist and boobs either. I even have a tough time finding jeans to fit because they are usually too short for me. Glad you enjoyed your night out last night, even if you didn't eat all that great.

6 weeks into this life style change and I have had a few hicups along the way, but for the most part I have been a calorie counting machine, I just have to wonder if I can keep up the portion control once I reach my goal weight. There you go, I am worrying about things that are in the future, things that I have no control over at this time.

Today is my weigh in day and to be honest I really didn't think it was going to be good, as I have mentioned before I weigh myself every morning (don't chastise me, I know its not a good thing) and only one day was the scale lower than it was last Monday when I did my official weekly weigh in. But low and behold this morning it was lower, and I don't know if its just trying to make me happy or what the reason, but I lost just over 2 lbs this week to put me over 20 lbs lost since I started. This is significant for a number of reasons, one I am less than half way to my goal and I still have 4.5 months to get there, and the other thing is I am back in the 150's, a place I haven't been in over 5 years, probably closer to 10 years.

I have less than one month until my foot surgery so I have to get as active as possible in the next month, because for the 6 weeks following the surgery I am going to be sedentary. I won't be walking, running or working, I will just be laying in the sun getting a great tan, hopefully in a bikini (I will be in the backyard where no one can see me) It will be very easy to pack the pounds back on during this time so I have to be super careful. Again here I go with the worrying about something that doesn't happen for a while and that at this time I have no control over.

Going to shut up now and bask in my losses. Have a great day and a great week everyone.

Dee, good luck with the surgery in a few weeks. I heard someone say just recently that worrying about what could happen is like paying the interest on a loan before you get the money, not good! However we all do it and I know that as I lose weight that is something that starts to raise it's head. If I succeed, then what? How do I stop myself from slipping back? So I say we focus on getting there, and when we do we'll plan our next stage, staying there. Have a good day.

Lizzie your last comment is what I was trying to say to you about your last post, you just have a much more eloquent way of saying it :-)

This week of nights is much harder than usual, I am so tired all the time. I have been packing a great lunch each night, but the rest of the time I am too interested in sleep to worry about eating. I know my body needs more than one meal a day, but I am not going to wake myself up to eat. When I get home in the morning all I can think about is getting into my bed and when I wake up there is so much to do to get the boys where they need to be, feed them and get myself ready for work. Maybe its working 10 hours a night instead of a normal 8 hour shift that makes the difference, those extra 2 hours could be used for preparing and eating healthy meals. Anway I have 2 hours before I have to leave, I need to shower, get dressed, finish making dinner, get my oldest to his music lesson, put my face on, prepare lunch for me and hubby for work tonight (he is working with my crew the next 2 nights) pick the child back up from his lesson and get to work. All in a days work when you are a working mom.

I love my children to bits and I miss them now that they are grown up and away but I still remember those years of chasing my tail and never seeming to do anything but work and sleep. I also know that it screwed up my eating plans, grabbing junk as I went, finishing the leftovers, eating at all sorts of strange times. Now i have no excuse, i should be able to control things better and i am trying. I ofeel for you and hope things even out soon cos you sound like you need a break.

I have had no time to myself this week, working nights is so hard on the system, I feel as though all I do is work and sleep. Next week will be a difficult food week as I am staying in a hotel all week. The hotel will supply me with a fridge and I am going to buy a cheap microwave, that I will keep in the trunk of my car with all my other work tools, so I can make most of my meals in my room and avoid restaurants as much as possible.

The weekend is here again and so far not too many plans, no tempting places to visit, no company coming, maybe I will be able to spend a weekend doing absolutly nothing, wouldn't that make a nice change?

Hope you had a great weekend and got a rest!! I seem tone stuck at the moment but I'm not giving up. Busy today as it's mother's day and I've got my mum coming for dinner and that means the house has to be perfect too. Catch you later

Lizzie Happy Mothers day a little late. We don't celebrate it here until mid May.

So today is weigh in day and I lost another 2.1 lbs this week, and 2.5 inches. Something that I question about this sight, according to my BMI I am only .19% from being in the normal range, no one who could still see the spare tire around my middle would say I am anywhere near normal. And apparantly I am only 1.2 lbs from being in the normal range. I love this site, don't get me wrong, but the numbers are too general, they can't tell what kind frame I have, if I am big boned or small boned. If I was an athlete I could easily carry this weight and look fantastic, muscle weighs more than fat and the jiggly bits wouldn't jiggle. But I am not an athlete, I am a 47 year old mom with a fairly physical job, I think I am small boned, even though I am considered in the taller range for a woman I don't excercise, though I have been a runner in the past, I still have a spare tire, that if I squeeze it all together is about 6 inches thick. I have enough fat around my back that if I wear a bra that is too tight I grow another set of boobs on my back. The only thing I can say is that I have great legs, but that I attribute to the job.

So what is normal?? I can stand in front of my full length mirror and see the changes in my body, but do I see more negatives than possitives? You bet I do. Will I ever be happy with the person looking back at me? I sure hope so. Do I consider my body normal? Not even close. I have my goal set to 140, but I know without doubt that 125 would be the perfect weight for me, I just can't see me ever getting there, I haven't been in that weight range since college, and I even thought I was overweight then.

Sorry for rambling, but I had to get these thoughts written down. Work is putting me in a Hotel for the week so I should be able to get here more often as there isn't much else to do alone in a hotel room. Have a great week.