The weekend is here and for once I am not putting things on hold until Monday as I have the distinct feeling that I am getting bigger again and I AM NOT GOING THERE. had a small glass of wine, just one, with a pretty healthy dinner this evening.
I only see my partner every 6-8 weeks and usually I'm ok with that, we talk every day on the phone, but at the moment I'm feeling lonely and I think that's one of the reasons I've been indulging myself with garbage. I have friends that I could go out with or have over this weekend but then I end up eating and drinking too much so I'm sort of hiding from the social side of my life at present but of course that just makes me even lonelier. So many reasons that we overeat or eat all the wrong things and even knowing the reasons doesn't
always help.
It's only two weeks until I see him again and I don't want to have put weight on again. We will only have 3 days together and my mum and sis and BIL will be there but at least he won't be working!!!.
Let's make this a good weekend.

Ok so far so good today. Went out for coffee with Mum, avoided the muffins and the stem ginger cookies. We went shopping and I tried another dress on, yes another one, but I didn't like the fit, I think Mum is overjoyed that I now posess at least 4 dresses and she has seen me wear 2 so far. We were talking about my childhood and she told me that before my sister arrived when I was 4, she spent a lot of her wages on clothes for me, I was kept like a little doll in frilly dresses etc and she thinks that's why I have an aversion to pretty girly things now. My mother is always well dressed, she would not dream of leaving the house without looking her best and my sister is the same. I must say I admire that especially as Mum is 82 and so many women of that age would have given up worrying about how they look.

I need to eat an afternoon snack or I end up eating way too much when I get home. What works well for me are nuts. I can either buy individual bags in the grocery store or pack some in baggies at home ukash

Hi Ukash, we all have our coping mechanisms and it's great to share them with each other so we can try new ways to manage. My problem is mostly weekends, starts on fri eve when I crack open the wine, I end up eating all the wrong things and usually finish off the evening by roaming the kitchen nibbling on anything. When I started this journey I decided that I wasn't going to deprive myself too much and my goal was only 1lb per week, that worked well until Xmas and since then I seem to have lost all focus and motivation, generally I am in a dip at present, not sleeping well, having morose thoughts constantly, worrying about everything and just not terribly happy. I am hoping that I can get a grip soon and get back to losing I think that might help me. Tomorrow is the start of the rest of my life nd I need to wake up and take ownership of my health.

I have set out this weeks goals and kept them very simple, stay under 1200 per day, 30min brisk walk x 5 this week and no alcohol until I go to Palma on the 28th.
My computer in work is still down and it was another frustrating day but hopefully tomorrow it will be fixed.
I am on a redeye flight on we'd and back home that evening late and I will be with 4 men with large appetites who will want to eat somewhere that serves large portions of not very healthy food but I will do my best.
My sister had given my mother a new vacuum that she had bought but didn't like and which had a problem with the catch release. We took it to a repair shop and the guy fixed it and It was working perfectly on Sunday. This evening mum tells me that it wouldn't release again and so she had gone back to the shop and given the guy a piece of her mind and told him her daughter would be bringing it back to be fixed and she didn't expect to have to pay over again. I took the cleaner out and it opened easily first time, Mum had been pushing at the wrong end!! I feel for that poor man in the shop.

Completely forgot that one of my colleagues is leaving tomorrow so we went out for tea with her this evening. There was an early bird menu that everyone went for, two courses and well priced but I stuck to just a main course and passed on the wine - so hard!
Have counted it up and I will just be under the1200 for today.
I am in bed and it's just gone 20:00 but I have to be up at 04:30 to catch a flight tomorrow. Will be away just for the day and home late, I'm beginning to regret telling my friend that I will go out with her to see a friend play a gig on Thursday eve as I think I will be shattered after the past few days.however I am off work on Friday so I can lie in if I need to' I'm not getting any younger you know.
As you may be aware I haven't lost any weight since before Xmas but today one of the guys I see fairly regularly says to me "you've lost weight haven't you?" now does he think I've lost more weight and I looked slimmer today or is he only noticing now that I've lost around 21 lbs??? And he said it as if he wasn't sure if I had or not, strange.
Ok I've got to try and get some sleep or I will be the one on the plane drooling on some poor guy next to me.

My stomach growled all thought the night, I think it's strawberries that sets it off but they are so delicious I'll just put up with the gurgling. Up at an u holy hour to fly to England, long drive at other end then incessant meetings, plane delayed on way back so late home and very tired.
The plane was late arriving and then there was a drunk woman on board who had been told that she would not be allowed to fly and must get off but she was having none of it. She argued with the staff, accused them of ethnic discrimination, swore at them and was finally escorted off the flight. The pilot came on to apologise for the delay and he didn't mince his words, he informed those at the back of the plane that there had been an obnoxious drunk woman on board at the front but they'd kicked her off and now we could leave.
My food choices today were very limited but I managed well at lunchtime with salad and fruit. My dinner had been planned out but because of the delay we decided to eat at the airport and the guys with me all charged to the burger bar. However I ended up with a baked goats cheese round on a half a bun with salad. Bad point though I gave in to peer pressure and joined them in a small glass of wine. However I did a lot of walking between sites today so I got some exercise in at least.

I am up and getting ready for work. Tonight I'm off out with my SF ( skinny friend) to watch a performance by a singer we know socially. I'm meeting her straight after work and we will eat somewhere first. I am going to suggest the a tapas bar where I can make good choices and if we order the spicy wedges I can let her eat most of them ( and she will) I am determined not to have more than one glass of wine with the meal and then onto water or diet coke for the rest of the evening. I should be ok for a walk at lunchtime as well and I'm taking fruit into work for my break, peach, pear and tiny oranges and one very thin slice of ham for my proteins sake. Guess I'd better jump in that shower and go earn a crust. Enjoy your day and stay good, well try your best.

Had a lovely evening and we did have tapas. We chose 5 dishes - chicken with lemon, cinnamon lamb and a goats cheese salad. The other two were naughty, breads and spicy potatoes. However the portions are really for one and we shared everything so it didn't work out so bad. The singer is a guy my friend has known for years and he is just back from the states where he has been supporting some big artists. He told us that he just got word that one of his songs - trick of the moonlight- is going to be used in the last episode of House. He's already had ones used on Cougar Town and One Tree Hill.
Next weekend I'm hoping to see the sun again and feel some heat so my prep has started.
Now maybe you are one of those fastidious ladies who is always perfectly coiffured and made up and SMOOTH ( if you catch my drift). Unfortunately in the winter time I am rather lax about de-fuzzing and at times I resemble a Yeti so it may take a few gos before I attain the " fit to be seen out in public without thick tights on" look.
I'm being a good Auntie tomorrow and taking my two great nieces to a fun interactive facility and then out for tea, I've already decided that I will not eat with them but wait until I get home as it will be too early for me and I run the risk of craving nibbles later in the evening.

We had a fun day with the girls ( my mum came too). I started the day with a 30 min brisk walk before breakfast then shower and some work before picking up the girls. Took them out for tea but I just had coffee as it was too early for me. Came home, had the remains of my pizza from fri with salad and then just vegged for the rest of the evening.
This morning I got my 30 mins in again and am now off to clean the house. I need to pop out to get some groceries later.
It's nearly time to drag out the summer clothes, I will need some tops for next weekend as I'm hopeful we will get some sun and high temperatures in Palma. One of my problem areas are my arms, I never have them uncovered, I like 3/4 length sleeves or wear a shrug or cardigan. I bought a beautiful dress once that had a fabulous crossover strapped back with embroidery on the straps and then realised no one would ever see this as it would be covered by my shrug, what a shame.

Lizzi,
I am too admire your mother. I feel very dull (the way I dress, everyday, jean, T-shirt, tennis shoe, no make up). I need to make an effort to dress up. I feel very good and also look good when I dress up. It's not that hard but I have to make an effort because my mom is very simple. And she has never taught me to dress up. My husband doesn't mind. But I feel good when I put on heel and skirt, or dresses.
Mai

Mai. Maybe we should start by saying that one day per week, perhaps Sat or Sun we will dress in a dress or skirt and put on some make up. That can be our feel good day.
Today I called in to see mum and she was just home from getting her eyebrows done, she said to me that the day she stops caring about her appearance is the day I'll know that she died. I don't think anyone would notice the difference with me but that is going to change.
I have bought a very beautiful dress for a cocktail party but that's a special occasion, when I go to Budapest in May I will surprise my BF by wearing a dress when we go for dinner on at least two nights.
Otherwise this has been a bummer of a day, last week I ate pretty well and exercised more than I have in months and what happens- the scales show a 2lb increase. Unbelievable..
Anyway, I didn't let it get to me today, I've kept under 1200 and got my 1/2 hr in as well, but it's hard when you don't know what you've done wrong.

Very long day yesterday, had fruit and a scone for lunch, no dinner and then a cheese sandwich at around 23:00. Was tempted to wash it down with a glass of vino but had a small glass of fruit juice instead.
Didn't get my 30mins brisk walk in but did spend more than 2 hours wandering around the shops on a break between meetings.
Hopped on the scales this morning and it said 150.5 - hopped back on 3 times and it kept saying the same, now I'm confused but very happy. If its right then this is the first downward movement I've seen in ages, I so hope things are starting to shift again.
Only 3 sleeps until we go to Palma, it'll be nice spending time with my sis and BIL and mum but even better seeing BF for the first time in about 8 weeks.
Mum is 82 on May 1 and we will be travelling home on her birthday so I am going to sneak her cards and presents from me and my sons into her house when we go to pick her up on Sat so that she will have them there when she gets home.
Guess I'd better go do some work, catch you later

Scales had gone up a little this morning but still down from last week. Will take to or rows as the one for this week as that was my goal day. Don't think I've made it but it's close.
I've been trying to remember how I managed to keep up my loss when I started and I guess it was all about planning what I'd eat and logging everything early in the day so that I knew whether I could have a treat or not. Recently I've been guessing and then saying oh I'm sure I could have some ice cream or a choccie when I'm probably way over, funny how we look and think that's probably only a couple of calories when it's closer to 100. So stop guessing and start logging properly again, that's my plan.
Got my 30 mins in and ate well today so I feel ok on the food front, I'm just tired as I'm still not sleeping as well as I'd like, too many things on my mind I guess. The short break should do me good.
Only working half a day tomorrow so home to iron and pack, ready for Sat. Mum is so looking forward to this, it'll be good to see her enjoying herself. Sometimes I forget how difficult and isolating it must be for her not to be able to hear very well, she had such a great social life with her dancing and holidays but that has all finished now and although she goes out shopping and keeps busy in the house and garden it's not the same. I'm thinking about taking her away later in the summer for a weekend in the south of Ireland, maybe a spa break or a city break.
Anyway I'm off to bed now.

Didn't make my goal of 150 today but just missed out by 1lb, so I'm fairly happy
However as I'm off on my short break I don't think that will last too long.
My new goal is for June 9th when I head off for 2 weeks with work. I don't mind the work but the food is always pretty dire, lots of pies and chips and stodgy food served up 3 times a day. I'm dreading it.
Ok I'll be off line ( unless BF brings his IPAD) so everyone have a wonderful weekend and stay good ( well try).

Lizie, Congratulation on reaching your goal rather early. I am so admire you writing very often. I wish I could write like you. Have a nice time.
Mai

Mai. Thank you, just write when you want to but keep reading the forums, it helps me to know I not alone.

I've just back from my few days away. The weather was great, lots of sun and a lovely hotel. Enjoyed spending time with my family. Ate and drank far too much as the food was sooo good and because Mum was with us we didn't walk as much as we usually would so I can really feel the lbs that went on. Now it's back to porridge as my gran would have said and a lot of work to do to make up for letting myself go.
I've told BF that when we go to Budapest in 10 days time, we will have to be way more careful with our eating and drinking and he agrees. It can be so hard sometimes but I know that the results are worth it so it's kick up the a*s time for me.

Back on track but finding it hard. I just seem to be hungry all the time. My count for today is sitting around 1250 and I am determined not to have anything more this evening. I have so many things to do and the next few weeks are just full of deadlines and things to remember. I've been writing out my lists since I got home from work so I think I have most of the things covered.
This weekend i'm trying on my summer stuff and charity will get those that don't fit any more.
I'm off to buy a new swimsuit too if I can find a nice one that doesn't show too much boob.
Now I have to do some housework before I head off for a long soak.

Not doing too badly, looking forward to going to see a band tomorrow evening with a friend I haven't seen for years. This is a long weekend as Monday is a public holiday and if only we could get some sunshine I would be out in the garden working. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to the cold, I can keep my body warm but my hands and my nose are freezing unless the sun is out and strong. It worries me that during the winter I stay cooped up except when going to work, so when I retire will that mean me hibernating like a bear from Oct to June.
I do really need to get the garden sorted, it's not large and my sister designed and planted it out for me so that it takes minimum work to keep it looking good, but all my pots need redoing and the deck needs treated and I have to cut back some of the climbers that are growing madly over everything.
So get yourselves revved up for the weekend and don't stray too far off the path, summer is coming and that means climbing out from under the layers and getting some rays on our skin.

Saturday night was great, band were rocking and everybody was enjoying themselves. It was great catching up with my friends, we all rode bikes together and they still do, i sold mine several years ago as i had nowhere to garage it and was just not getting out often enough because of the cold weather. I met a woman who only started riding when she was 45, 6 years ago and she has been to the states twice, once to Sturgis Rally and once biking from LA to Vegas to San Francisco, the same route I did in a car last Sept, I really admire her for tackling that trip. Talking about it made me want to buy another bike.
I'm off at the end of the week to Budapest and will be looking out for Bruce Willis who is filming another Die Hard movie there next week, I love the John McClain character and it would be amazing to catch sight of Bruce.
My hair has got so long and I just don't know what to do with it, I feel I'm too old for hair past my shoulders but I can't decide on a style. Guess I'll leave it until I'm sure.

Been doing not too badly with my eating so far this week but I have been trying to increase my water intake ( which is nil) and I just keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be drinking.
Like wise I bought some plants on Saturday which my sis told me to put out during the day and then bring in each night, just for another week or so to harden them off. Well I put them out Sunday am and then promptly forgot about them until this evening when I went into the garden to pick up a chair that had blown over.
Sometimes my forgetfulness worries me but I have always been like this, my lists are famous in my family, I couldn't survive a day without them, however I can remember the lyrics to thousands of songs and can dredge up all sorts of trivia, go figure.
I went shopping for a swimsuit yesterday and how depressing was that..... I stood looking at this lumpy thing in a stretchy suit and hated myself and then was horrified that I looked so bad after losing 23lbs, what the heck did I look like before, I must have conned myself into believing that I didn't look too bad, maybe there was fat around my eyes blurring my vision!!!

Way to go on continuing to journal your progress. It looks like it has paid off too! 23 pounds is fantastic. Congratulations on your progress!

Thank you Shawna, how have you been doing? Here's to a successful journey for you on the road to health. I have been stuck for a while but am hoping to start things moving again.
Too many trips I'm afraid, both pleasure and work play havoc with my good intentions.
I am in Budapest at the moment, have just had breakfast and I'm hoping that that will keep me going until dinner tonight. Unfortunately the combination of sun and sightseeing usually ends in a beer at lunch time like it did yesterday, but I'm determined to keep to a more healthy regime for the rest of this trip. Enjoyed my meal out last night but that is the only one where I will have starter and dessert ( although I did go for a salad with no dressing).
Enjoy your weekend and try to stay focused

I'm on my own today, BF has gone off to work and I am thinking of heading into Budapest to have a wander around the shops, coffee and maybe visit the art gallery. The food here tends to be a bit stodgy with lots of dumplings on offer. However they will substitute a green salad in most places so I haven't been too bad. Last night I left the group (my BFs instructors on the course he directs) in the Belgian bar and went back to the hotel, they are a lovely bunch of men and women but most are much younger than me and they can stay up and drink and then still get up and function the next day. Recently I have been tired almost all the time, don't sleep well and have no enthusiasm to do things or socialise. I'm hoping it's just a temporary blip and I'll find my mojo again soon. I'd better get up out of this hotel bed, shower and head off otherwise I could end up lying here all day!!!!!

Today I left the hotel at 10:30 and arrived back at 15:30 having walked my little legs off. I only stopped a few times for around 5 mins and then again for around 15 mins to get some water, that's the longest walk I have had in years, I'm quite proud of myself, especially since I passed lots of metro stations. Today has been warm but windy but at the moment the wind has died down and it looks like it will be a lovely evening.
I have been taking lots of phographs and I can't wait to get them downloaded, I love photography and it is a hobby I want to spend time on when I retire.
Tonight the Centre where my BF is directing is hosting a meal for the instructors and students and they have kindly invited me along. I believe it is a large buffet with some good healthy choices instead of the usual Hungarian heavy meals. The students and instructors come from many countries so it should be a very cosmopolitan gathering, I know that there are people from the US and Canada along with German, Italian, Dutch, Danish, Belgian and Hungarian and of course from the UK.
Now I'm off to shower and get ready for our evening out, just hope I can stay awake and enjoy it.

The buffet last night was very good, lots of chicken, pork and turkey strips with different coatings as well as other meats like venison or beef and loads of fish. You made your choices and they cooked them for you on a grill. I had some venison with forest fruits sauce and some spicy chicken and a little bit of pork in a herb coating. None of the strips were large and the marinades weren't very oily. There were lots of side dishes too but I went with salads, no dressing and some cous cous with spices.
All in all the first part went well. Then I saw the little desserts, lots of them, I won't go into details but suffice to say I didn't choose the fruit salad.
Today I only managed a short walk over the river from Buda into Pest and am now back in the hotel lounging. We have one more full day here tomorrow then home on Sat morning to my BFs place in England and then I go home to N Ireland on Sunday.
I will be pretty scared getting on the scales Monday morning......

It is 07:30 and I am sitting in the hotel foyer waiting for the car to take us to the airport. The sun is blazing and I don't want to leave. I know that it is raining back home and I am so fed up with the cold and wet. Overall I haven't done too badly and combined with all the walking I hope that I may have only put on a couple of pounds if any.
I now have a couple of weeks before I go away again, this time for work and only as far as England but from past experience the food on offer is usually pies, chips and other various stodgy fare. Once I existed on chocolate bars for two weeks because the food in the cookhouse was so poor, hopefully there will be more variety this time.
The car is here so I must away, have a good weekend.

Half way through the week and I've been pretty good old wise. I need to be as the scales were up by 4 lbs on Monday. How does that happen, it takes so long to lose that much but only days to put it on again. I will not let it get me down, I'm back to logging everything and have been under 1200 every day so far, but it's depressing to see the weight go back on so easily. The weather is picking up here and I'm hoping for a good weekend in the garden, lots of work to do and plants to buy and then relax and enjoy the fruits of my labour.

Ok today started well, scales have moved back down to 151.5 and I half heartedly tried on an old pair of much loved Levi jeans which FITTED, joy of joys. Going out this evening with my best friend, no alcohol as I'm driving and I am on call too, so even when we go back to her apartment I have an excuse to say No thanks. The sun is out and I have taken a half day from work to enjoy it, been tidying up the garden and now I'm off out again to just sit and relax. Enjoy your day.

Another week and didn't get on scales this morning, I was running late, had overslept and was on way to work before I remembered, but I will tomorrow. Haven't been too bad but probably more a maintenance level of eating than a loss one. Stocked up on fruit and veg yesterday and I have been out gardening so not so much lounging around. How do I break through this plateau, I just seem to move up and down on the same 4 lbs at the moment.
Put away my winter clothes ( I'm optimistic) and have decided that as I try my summer clothes from last year, if they do not fit or are not flattering then they are going into the
charity bag straight away. Catch you later.