In and out of denial
 

I've been working on being a healthy weight for years. I have to just face the facts on this. I started in earnest in 2003 and by 2004 had lost 45lbs. But, my father was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in May of 2004. The emotional stress of losing my life's biggest fan derailed me and I lost my focus. Needless to say, I gained it all back. I am battling hypothyroidism on this one.

Yesterday, I went shopping with an old high school chum. She wanted to go into all the shops with the great cute clothes that I can't fit into. She's a size 6 which is the same size she was 30 years ago. I'd like to hate her but it's not her fault. And, amazingly enough, she has the same body image issues as the rest of us. Weight doesn't seem to make a real difference with this problem. We all do it. We look at ourselves and pick out the perceived problems.

Anyway, on the denial issue, sometimes, I wonder if I never really got back on track because I didn't have my Dad around telling me how great I looked. But, that's really just an excuse. I could look in the mirror and tell myself the same thing. So here I am closing out 2010 and I'm still trying. I keep telling myself I haven't failed until I quit trying.

So, after shopping yesterday, and remembering the days when I could shop in those stores too made me realize that everyday counts. I really do love to eat healthy food. Yes, it's more effort to prepare but I feel better eating it. There can be no more wait until tomorrow's and no more denial of how heavy I really am.

Dad was a long time cowboy fan so I'm getting back on my saddle and getting back out there in earnest again. This time I don't need others to motivate me. I'm doing this for me.

I lived a long time in the land of denial. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that reminded me of those days. It said "Come on over to the dark side... We have cookies!!!" I cracked up because that is exactly what cookies are to me anymore, a step into the dark days of old.

Maybe you could use dad's memory to encourage you on this journey. I say run out and get yourself a pair of silver pompoms and cheer for the length of a football game. Okay maybe not a whole game, just a quarter or two.

I reallly like the idea of the pom poms although the boyfriend wouldnt be too impressed when he has me jumping up and down for a whole 90 mins of the game. I should add how much he loves football!! Saying that im sure i could do it upstairs but then im sure the ceiling could go through!!!!! Maybe i should try it with another game that he isnt so keen on. I just dont think snooker will have the same feel haha.

He might like the pompom thing a whole lot especially if you got the skimpy outfit to go with....

I've often dreamed about opening my own health club, only all the workouts would be FUN!!! I imagine that the "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader" workout would always be packed, even though it costs a little more because pompoms would be mandatory. Also well attended would be the "42nd Street Broadway Musical" workout, complete with tap shoes and leotard. And I would put in an enormous rock wall and get some hot guys in tight shiny pants to teach rock climbing (sorry that's the best thing I could think of to make rock climbing fun). And for the spinning class I would have the Tour de France course projected on the walls, and the instructor would dress in yellow and wear a number on his back just like Lance Armstrong, and instead of "spinning" I would call it "Chasing Lance". And for those who think they absolutely have to get on a treadmill to workout, I would get a big screen tv for each one that only worked if the treadmill was going fast enough and you could chose from one of 100 different courses in addition to some regular TV shows. And I would have a mini glow golf course. And you could bring the kids along, because heaven knows they need to get a move on as well.

Well, I haven't bought the Pom Poms yet. At the moment, I could use the ones that are attached to my body. They are fluffy enough. :p

But, the good news is I have finished up a full 5 day work week of healthy eating and the scale is moving downward a few ounces everyday! :cool: And, I feel soooo much better. The cafeteria will kill a person.

Someday, I will have to learn the rules to snooker. I am a fairly good shot at pool.