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-   -   I don't want to fail at this again! (https://www.fitday.com/fitness/forums/support-group-just-women/2170-i-dont-want-fail-again.html)

meganspurr 10-15-2010 05:38 PM

I don't want to fail at this again!
 
Hi Ladies,

I need some help in knowing how all of you stick with this! I really want to make lifestyle changes, but sticking with them is difficult for me. I live in downtown Seattle, so I try to walk more often than drive, and I do have a gym membership that I am trying to fit in more often Ė but that is a mental challenge more than a physical one!

Here is what I have going now. I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch almost every day, and I try to keep the calorie consumption right around the 1,500 mark give or take a splurge with dinner. My current plan is to hit the gym after work 3 days a week (I am a student as well and have night classes that keep me from going every day).

My husband doesnít sabotage my efforts, but he isnít particularly supportive Ė possibly because Iíve gone hard core about wanting to make changes before, and never really stuck with them for more than a week or two. I have serious weaknesses for desserts in the evenings, and find it difficult to pass up happy hour out at the pubs with friends but I know I will eat greasy foods and drink way too many empty calories. (I love good dark beer and a really good sidecar or vodka gimlet)

Nothing is impossible, and changes can be made Ė but Iíd love to know what has worked for you! One thing that I havenít tried before is reaching out to others for help. Thanks in advance for anything you can pass on :)

GameGal 10-15-2010 06:37 PM

Hi and welcome to the board! Perhaps the weight watchers point centered diet may help you make some choices in your lifestyle change. I have not gone that route but I have a couple friends on it and they love it.. one drinks also and refused to give up her alcohol and because she can figure it in her daily point allowance, she manages to do it to a satisfactory compromise.

The place you will find the most support and encouragement here is the thread for 100 lbs to lose .. this month it is called October Ovations.. check it out and post there and I am sure some others will be willing to help. :D

xarinn 10-15-2010 11:54 PM

Hello and welcome:)

I am kind of like you where I would get started then it would fail for some reason or another, looking back I think the biggest reasons it would fail are:

1) I got bored of eating the same food everyday
2) I enjoy a good beer or whisky sour when the day is done (not everyday, but somedays)

It took me a bit of time to figure out a way to deal with it but I have come up with a system that works for me and I have managed to stick with it.

One afternoon when I didn't have much going on I sat down and I made out a list of all of the things that I like to eat and things that I think that I should eat, I then figured out the caloric value for each of those items. ( I included beer and drinks in there as well). So now I have a list of all the things I love and in the morning I can quickly look at the list, look at what I have in the house, figure out what my plans are for the day and then sort of plan my meals accordinly. For example I usually eat around 350 or 400 calories for breakfast but if I know I am going out for drinks at night I will have a yogurt for 75 calories and a couple of cups of fruit ( strawberries,raspberries etc) for another 75 calories and I have automatically freed up 200-250 calories for my drink that night. It takes a bit of work to set up the system but it really works for me.

I guess it's similar to the WW system but it is only foods I like to eat and when I look a t the list there is always something that appeals to me.

Hope that helps

Andrea

Jenna_66 10-16-2010 01:24 AM

I try my hardest to stick with it all the time, but I also have my bad days. My husband is also not the best supporter. But I just have to eat different than he does. It's hard. The way I stick with it is if I have a bad meal, make sure the next 1 is a good one. I try not to make it an all day event of eating bad. And if it's something in the house I will probably throw it away. And as you continue to eat healthy it gets easier. And you will be more aware of what you order while you are out. I also recommend cooking extras so you always have leftovers for a quick snack or lunch. I use to eat bad every other day now I'm down to about 1 time a week. Hope this helps, it will get better!!

Lizzycritter 10-16-2010 04:01 PM

I'm a fan of "zig zagging" calories, kinda similar to going easy on breakfast and lunch when you know you're going out to dinner but it takes the whole week into play. If I'm more strict on weekdays (when I'm feeding just myself for breakfast and dinner instead of everybody) then I've got more room on weekends to have bacon and eggs with the family. I've also been to the websites of our favorite restaurants and made notes of what the "better" menu options are (FWIW, Olive Garden really is the worst for anyone watching their diet, and we now go there a lot less than we used to).

For me it's easier to focus on one thing at a time. Right now I'm focusing on not eating my way through the stress in my life. Work, medical, and family drama all up on top of one another.....luckily for me I have a wonderful husband who does get on my last nerve about little stuff (like leaving the empty milk jug that doesn't fit in the trash can on top of the lid instead of emptying it, seriosly?!) but when it's big stuff he's always got my back.

almeeker 10-16-2010 04:31 PM

I'm pretty much in line with lizzycritter, I work pretty hard at this M-F and give myself a little slack on F & S, by Sunday I'm hoisting myself back into the saddle (hopefully). Now that does not mean that I eat whatever I want on F-S, I do breakfast and lunch on plan, but if I want a larger portion for dinner and/or a drink, I have it and don't let myself feel guilty over it, the occasional cheat helps keep me on track since I'm not "on a diet", this is a "lifestyle" change for the better. My husband is fairly supportive, he's about 70 pounds lighter than he was the day we got married, although he lost most of that years ago. He has high cholesterol and a heart condition, the kids have food allergies, so for a long time the diet in our house has been "healthier than average".

I almost never make a different meal for me than what I feed to the rest of the family, what's good for the goose is good for the gander and the goslings. It also helps me stay on track if the table isn't laden with "off plan" foods, and it's teaching our children to eat healthy as well. Since obesity runs on both sides of the family, it's really for the best they learn about nutrition, exercise and calories now.

To keep from getting bored I don't eat the same foods everyday, and there are times where I don't eat a certain type of food for a while. For example I've gotten a little burned out on salad. We grow a big garden and believe me I ate salad after salad this past summer. Starting about the end of August I just couldn't face another plate of lettuce, so I've put them on the back burner for a while and probably about mid-November I'll be hungry for it again, greens always taste crazy good to me when I'm months away from having them fresh from the garden. Lately I've been into soup, stew, squash, sweet potatoes and sandwiches, good fall foods. And when I get a craving for something I've been resisting for caloric reasons, I poke around on-line or in the kitchen until I find a way to make an "on-plan" version. That has been particularly good for me, because I'm one of those people that can't resist "taboo" food.

meganspurr 10-16-2010 08:25 PM

I never cared for the points system (I found I cheated with foods that were low in enough in points but still not super healthy), but I do like the idea of planning more ahead - thank you for the ideas!

I am thankful that it's just my husband and I (no kids), but the lifestyle changes are difficult for me. Did everyone jump in head first, or did you work your way into it? Before now, I never ate breakfast regularly, I never drank enough water (I feel like i'm almost swimming in it now), lunch was usually super fat, although dinners were decent as long as we were eating at home. I feel good that i'm making my own breakfast and lunch each day, and I am more aware of my calories as i'm logging it all in. Couple that with now going to the gym 3 days a week, I feel like it is a lot. Is there anything you did to keep from getting overwhealmed?

I guess i'm just looking for some motivation when in a week or two and I get home from work and look at the gym shoes or look at the couch and a hour of quality napping time... I choose the gym shoes!

Lizzycritter 10-17-2010 12:17 AM

I tackled one bad habit at a time, first I went to diet pop, then I limited that to one a day, then went caffeine free, and now I have diet root beer maybe once or twice a week when I'm having a "sweet" craving but don't want the calories. I still drink coffee, which isn't bad in itself but I put a lot of crap (flavored creamer) into it. I limit myself to 2 cups a day, thinking about taking it down to one a day but I'm having a breast lump removed next week, so I'm thinking for now I'll just hold steady where I'm at. If I do too much too fast, I end up getting frustrated and chucking it all, usually that involves a jar of peanut butter and a spoon :o.

BTW, the lump is very small and well defined, probably benign, but why take any chances? I'll feel a lot better when it's out.

meganspurr 10-17-2010 03:07 PM

Lizzycritter - how scary! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, and speedy recovery!

I broke down last night and ended up eating an entire box of macaroni and cheese, and half a dozen cookies since my husband decided he wanted to make cookies for his D&D game tomorrow (we are super nerds). I felt like crud after, and I wanted to go crawl into a hole. I also feel like that right now, as I add the food to my log for yesterday... UGH. No lie, nearly 1k calories more than I should have eaten.

Why is it I just dump any good plan as soon as I am out of a structured environment? Do I have to pre-make lunch and dinner too for the weekends to stay on track? (Sorry, i'm just ranting here more at myself for making such bad choices). booo.

I'm happy that I got up and made my fruit smoothie this morning (even added some veggies to it), and I am going to go to the gym today. Today has to be better than yesterday, right?

almeeker 10-17-2010 06:02 PM

Again I'm like lizzy on this. I spent 3-4 days in the very beginning just logging my intake, what I ate, where I ate it and what I was feeling when I ate. This was on the advice of a nutritionist friend that basically said "it's hard to move forward unless you know where you are". So I wrote everything down and then looked for ways to make small improvements one at a time. For example I used to eat breakfast 3-4 times every morning. None of it particularly bad for me, just way too many calories overall, routinely 1,500-2,000 before lunch! So the first thing I did was cut to 1 breakfast. That was really hard because I'm a very early riser (4:00-5:00am), and I wake up starving. Then I switched my morning diet coke to coffee, which wasn't a good move until I switched creamer to light almond milk, sugar to Truvia and copious amounts of chocolate syrup to 1 scoop of chocolate protein powder. Then I tackled afternoon snacking. I used to have hot dogs occasionally for a snack, we were a wheat free house for a long time, so I'd gotten used to eating them without a bun. So I would take 3 hot dogs, put a piece of cheese on each one and zap them in the microwave. That little snack has 840 calories and I don't even know how many grams of fat. Needless to say, I don't buy hot dogs anymore. I switched the whole family over to 35 calorie/slice whole grain bread. We switched from sour cream to Greek yogurt. We switched bologna to fat free turkey slices. Regular cheese to reduced fat cheese etc etc etc.

I've gone to the gym 1-2x week for years now, but I was getting no where with it. So I had to look for ways to add more exercise, we bought an elliptical, but at first I could only go like 8-9 minutes, gradually I increased that by 1-2 minutes at a time. Now I routinely go an hour and when I skip it for a few days I hurt all over. I also put more movement into my average day. I walk the kids to school, I get up early on Sunday mornings and walk down to the grocery store to buy the paper, I walk to the gym etc etc. The gym bit was hilarious because at one point it occurred to me that I was driving 3.1 miles to run 5K on the treadmill. Seriously, how silly was that? My kids love to ride their bikes at the park, so now if they get their chores and homework done quickly we all go down to the park and play for a little while. I started walking my oldest DD to soccer practice (it's a mile each way), and now we run (she dribbles her ball the whole way), it's good for both of us and has improved her game quite a bit. She really has to control the ball, on one side is the road and the other a river, and if that isn't bad enough her obnoxious mother is trying to steal it from her. And while she's practicing, I power walk around the field. I've taken all of it in baby steps over the course of the last year, and plan to keep taking them for the rest of my life. The largest room is the room for improvement.


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