brandismom1990

Will. not. turn. on. TV. Will.not.turn.on.tv.

changeisgood29

Oh, so much good stuff to reply to, but Monday approaches, and it's past my bedtime already. Just wanted to wish you all a very good week, and to congratulate you all on your successes... Carren for meeting your mini-goal - that is so awesome; Almeeker for not giving in to chips, hamburgers, and who knows what else, brandismom for not turning on the tv, Gamegal for continuing to fight the good fight despite idiotic gym personnel (seriously... is there anyone above them you could talk to???)... Sorry if I missed anyone.
Okay, my 2 cents on being self-conscious while exercising (especially while running)... I'll preface this by saying I am very lucky in that my local gym is not only cheap but is typically not crowded. But, that's not to say it's a ghost town. So, when I did day 1 of C25K, the owner of the gym was there on one of the treadmills, who of course is some absurdly built dude. And I was like, "oh, come on!" And then a woman who I refer to as 'uber girl' because she is thin and very very built came in and started working out next to him. And I was like, "Uhhh... Really? Can I have ONE other person in here who isn't in prime physical condition?" But, off I went anyway. The thing I keep in mind when I feel like a galloping elephant is that I'm doing this for *me* - not the gym owner, not 'uber girl," or anyone else. What they think about my fat butt running on the treadmill is very far from my concerns and from my goals. Reminding myself of that helps to keep me focused on my workout, instead of self-consciousness. Forgive my (unintentional) soapbox; I hope that was at least marginally helpful for someone.
By the way... I'll wait until Fri (my weigh-in day) to post, but that plateau finally broke. Down 1.2# and hopefully counting.

WeightlossBoo

Woohoo, that's great! I think most of us can get a little self concious when doing something out of our comfort zone, but it's awesome that you've giving little focus to the opinions of others and doing it for yourself.
I also feel like a galloping elephant, and I'm always the heaviest person running on a treadmill at any one time, but so what?! I'd like to think that people are thinking 'Good for her!' but if they are secretly mocking me it not a great bother. I'm making a change to my life, and so are you and every other overweight person in the gym. Stuff what others think, no one is perfect and everyone has their flaws or vices. We just wear ours on the outside.

Oh, well done for breaking that plateau! It's about time!!!

almeeker

Big fat eye opener. Okay, so this past weekend was DD's birthday, so of course I had cake and ice cream, all within my calorie budget, but low and behold I'm up this morning. Why? I'll tell you why, between the cake and ice cream my carbs were 60+, that's why. I also did not get in all my water over the weekend, but I'm off to a strong start this morning, guzzled down 32oz with the workout, gotta go, those kids don't get themselves off to school, mores the pity...

brandismom1990

WARNING: Extreme ranting and whining ahead – do not read if you want to be “lifted up”

It's so frustrating when you feel like you’re doing 90% of your goals right and the scale bumps you UP 1.8 lbs from your latest low on your WID and I KNOW that weight can fluctuate wildly from day to day (+/- 1-4 #s) but I am just really pissed off about it and screaming at the universe and hating that, in my head I'm thinking "yep, you've just RUINED your metabolism for good this time by gaining all this weight back and you'll never be thin again" and wanting to just give up and accept my fat life and, and, and . . .

And I KNOW I need to get rid of the negative thinking because I did many things right this past week and it will just take a bit for my body to catch up, but I am worried about my and my husband's counseling session today, am hating having to go to my SUCKY "for insurance only" job today (did I mention I own my own biz, but have to have health insurance, so I work twenty hours a week slinging coffee to get insurance in what is normally one of my favorite places but that I am starting to resent so much I may soon hate it AND I thought I'd have a new client by now -- 18 months later -- to be able to "go cobra" but I don't, AND my husband and I are working on our marriage, but physically separated AND I get all in my head about whether we're going to survive or not -- AND part of me wants to just be done with it and start over AND part of me wants to stay with him, but doesn't know if he can fix HIS issues enough so that we can grow, AND I wonder all the time if the reason we grew apart is because I got fat, AND I wonder all the time if the reason my business took a hit is because I got fat, AND I suffer depression which spiraled out of control when I stopped exercising so much and the business went south in this horrid economy, AND, AND, AND, AND and I WANT TO STAY POSITIVE BUT GET IN MY HEAD SO MUCH!!!).

I'm in a baaaadddd place this morning -- which started off with my alarm, which is my Iphone not allowing me to turn it OFF for 10 minutes so it was BLARING AT TOP VOLUME THE SEX AND THE CITY THEME SOUNDBITE OVER AND OVER AGAIN -- which is a RUDE awakening at best but even moreso -- may mean my crazy expensive, can't live without because I keep my life in it phone seems to be going bad, which (after the coffee pot and the microwave giving up the ghost in the past few weeks) scares me that it may be the "third" in a rule of three appliances failing on me, but I don't have time today to go check on it.

And all of that RANTING said, I just need to pull myself up by my red-healed bootstraps and get to it because the alternative is crawling back in bed, pulling the covers over my head and giving up – which is really no alternative at all, but seems SOOOOOO APPEALING right now.

Crapola, crapola, crapola of a Monday morning. I’m going to go get coffee now and see if that helps.

I’ll try and come back later with a better attitude. But thanks for letting me rant.

Ang

GOAL WEIGHT– 155
Maintenance weight – 155-60
CURRENT WEIGHT – 222.0 (-.2)
CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE WEIGHT – 192.2
5’10, current size 18/16, goal size 10-12 tops & dresses, 8-10 skirts and pants (I’m built like a boy so my shoulders will never be an eight, but I got as low as a 6 in a few items on the bottom)
***********************
REWARDS:
FIRST GIFT FOR 5 lbs down: New RED Microwave (Mine died and I’d spend $39 now on a cheap one, but I really want the $69 red one so I’m making it an incentive! I don’t micro much – but it is convenient when I make and freeze crock pot meals not to have to reheat them on stove or in oven)
2nd GIFT FOR 10 lbs. down: Food Processor
3rd GIFT FOR 15 lbs down: Red Electric Teakettle
4th GIFT FOR 20 lbs down: 3-5 new clothing Items OR, if some “old-new” clothes fit again, then a new fantastic KNIFE to start a set
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
GOALS:
TODAY'S CALS: 1400-1500 total
TODAY'S EXERCISE: 45-60 mins cardio
TODAY'S WATER: 100 oz.

[email protected]

Did okay at the bday party Saturday - did have a cheeseburger and a bit of potato salad and a piece of cake, but stayed in my calorie range.

Was crazy hungry yesterday, so got my butt up and went to the gym instead of eating.. did 5 miles on the bike and then upper body strength training for 30 minutes.

Got up and did 3 miles with a Leslie Sansone DVD this morning....

Gotta keep the momentum going! Have a great day everyone!

carrenross

[QUOTE=brandismom1990;21942]WARNING: Extreme ranting and whining ahead – do not read if you want to be “lifted up”

I smile because I can so relate to almost everything you say. However, it is now 20 years later and can tell you it definitely DOES get better, BUT you cannot change it all in a day.

Your husband is an adult - let him take care of himself. You two can always get back together - get remarried - whatever YOU want - later.

Time to focus on you right now. My opinion is that your extra weight is a result of a relationship-in-trouble not the other way around.

Jobs come, jobs go; businesses come, businesses go - due to economy; it has happened to my husband and I too. Just keep plugging along, it will eventually sort itself out. Right now you NEED the 'insurance only job' so slap on a happy face and smile to yourself - KNOWING - it will not be forever.

My advice - buy a new coffee machine. A girl can NOT get through a day without her first cup of coffee in her PJ's!
My second piece of advice is to breathe! '3 deep breathes when in stress' - visualize some place you feel calm and slow down.

Oh, and Brandismom, thank you for confirming why I do not have a cell phone.

Seriously, I am glad that you 'downloaded' to forum today. It helps to know that there is a place to go to do so. We are here anytime you need to do it.

I hope your day went a little smoother, Carren

brandismom1990

CARREN -- thanks so much for the support and "reasoned" thoughts. My counselor/therapist/life coach and I talk about the mental lists we need to make -- on the left side, you write down all the "monkey chatter" in your head, on the right, the rational stuff and the reasoning behind it.

Expecially thanks for the "strap on a smile" about the neccessary job. You're right, it's neccesary RIGHT NOW, but I am doing what I can to fix that.

(And BTW -- this girl does have her french press, so I get the morning coffee in first thing -- it just isn't waiting for me when I get up -- cause as a professional coffee slinger, I definitely do not function w/out my coffee in the a.m.!!! :-) In fact, I've become so spoiled by my french press that now I have on my list BEFORE the coffee pot, a red electric teakettle for quickly boiling the water for the press -- now that I think of it, going to go look for a matching red-french press as a reward )

AND NOW . . .drumroll . . . .I just finished TurboJam Cardio Party and I feel SOOO much better. I realized that I really didn't do ENOUGH exercise last week and I need to pump it up with something I LOVE doing. So, my four favorite "Firm" DVD replacements for the VCR ones that are now obsolete are on the way, and my TurboJam, HipHopAbs and P90 (and p90x -- but we're not there yet) DVDs are pulled forward on the shelf. I'm going to up the anty on the exercise and I know that will be helpful.

Had a good breakfast and -- even though I still FEEL hungry, am going to wait 20 mins, drink a big H2O glass and try and let the fullness feeling come.

I WILL make this a good day. I WILL!

brandismom1990

RED FRENCH PRESS! RED FRENCH PRESS!! Going to put it on my presents to me list!

Bodum Red French Press - Sur La Table

almeeker

brandismom, I can so relate to your rant this morning, well not all of it specifically but the rant-rant-bitch-bitch thing, I can keep right up in that department. We need days in our lives like that just so we can appreciate the good days a whole lot more. Well, I don't know if that's true, but it's what I say to myself when I have one of those days. Deep breath sister, then maybe shop on-line and see if you can't find yourself a punching bag for cheap, I'm thinking you need an outlet to beat up, one that is not you. It takes time to see the results of living a cleaner healthier life, you might also want to study what you are doing and see if there might be some easy changes you can make, and maybe knock it down by 100 calories or some such.

I'm also going to second the new coffee pot and the thought that it was the bad relationship that made you fat rather than the other way round.