Feeling like a failure
 

Right i feel so stupid last week i was posting how fabulous i felt that id bought a new bra and felt confident etc. That didnt last long! My eating WAS under control and i was back on track but somehow im back at square 1 and feeling worse than ever. Ive been picking my brains to figure out why im feeling like this but all week ive eaten badly and had too many carbs and treats which has left me feeling low! Ive been really negative on myself and all ive done is cry for 7 days and then every night comfort eating infront of tv. Its just been a viscious circle that i havent yet figured out how to get myself out of it. Ive been looking in the mirror and there isnt 1 thing that i can find good about myself. Im 25 and feel i have the body of a 90 year old-2 children has left its mark on my body! Also my face is suffering badly with acne lately no matter what i do to try and clear it up! It doesnt help that in the hot weather there are so many girls my age who look great and how i think i should be. My partner has been so great and listened to me and been with me crying trying his hardest to reassure me but i just cannot see what he sees no matter how hard i try. I know he loves me and fancies me but i just donthave the confidence that id like to have. I really hate feeling like this but its so hard to fix.
Im really sorry for going on and on but all week ive been on the forums and reading how well you are all doing and i havent posted because everything ive had to say has been so depressing. I want to be here telling you all my successes not moaning day in day out about the same thing..... How bad im doing!!
I know i can do better and im really going to try starting from when i wake up in the morning! Ive lost 64lbs since January 2009 and because ive stayed the same give or take a few pounds since January 2010 im feeling like im a terrible failure for not reaching my goal but i want the final 24lbs off before this christmas but it wont happen until i start doing something about it.
Thankyou all for listening i just need some words of encouragement from women who know how im feeling or have been through the same during their weight loss journeys.
Please help me get back on track because this sadness is really taking its toll everyday and i want to smile again when i see the number on the scales going the direction i want it too!!

Starting weight-234lbs (Jan 2009)
Weight in Jan 2010- 178lbs
Current weight-170lbs
Goal weight- 140-145lbs (before Dec 2010)

Tracey

Are having vicious PMS? Sometimes that can happen to women that are losing weight. Something about the fat cells releasing extra hormones as they break down. You might want to bring some of this up with your doctor? Just a thought. Maybe you need something else to do in the evening. Could you maybe take a class of some sort to get you out of the house and out of this funk? Or make plans for a GNO (girls night out), or take the whole family for a walk after dinner. Or how about a pet, one that has to be walked right before bed or he'll wee on the carpet. I also think maybe a make-over would be curative, get the hair done, the nails, and maybe a sassy new outfit. Nothing like a little paint and trim to make a woman feel good about herself again.

I'm having a little bit of "down in the diet" blues myself this weekend. All I want to do is eat, and it's most certainly not PMS, had that last week. I need a pep talk myself, truly. I've been avoiding that workout all day. Okay, I'm getting up right now and going to head out for a walk, run or a trot on the elliptical. Tag your it, now you go too.

Tracey and almeeker,
I want to say thank you for encouraging me. I dropped about 20 lbs off and on last year and am back on track to lose 50lbs. I belong to another woman's forum and it motivated me to get another task on my bucket list done and have remained true to that for the last 6 months.
Now, it is time for the weight to come off. I have set a goal to walk 3 miles a week and on average I am walking 2 miles a week. I have been focused on this exercise plan for a month. So, I am coming along. So, the goal for this coming week, I am big on action plans, I am a certified life coach, to walk everyday. To amp it up so walking everyday becomes part of who I am. I use to power walk 30 years ago and walked every day. Loved it. It is great for depression says my doctor. She recommened I start walking after a horrific trial with an antidepressent. I decided to do it naturally. And the walking has really helped.

You 2 are an inspiration to me because, presently I am 212 lbs-I want to get down to 150 lbs. That is 62 lbs to lose by 11-18 my birthday.

So, if you don't mind, I would like support as well. And I will extend my hand to support you all.
Blessings,
Sue

Good afternoon ladies....this must be the week of the "crashed" diets, as I too have had a bad week. Well, tomorrow is the start of a new week and time to get it back in check. No sense beating ourselves up about that which we cannot change, only time to take a deep breath, put down the ice cream spoon and look forward. I don't know about the rest of you but by midnight, I will have a plan and strategies in place for the coming week, so this won't happen again (at least not too soon).

Tracey, seems once it starts to go south, it just spirals out of control faster and faster til we stop or hit bottom. Looks like your emotions have hit bottom, so there's only one way left to go....up...so come on....let's go. We can do this, you're not alone. Maybe take some time to look at the big picture...where you've come from and where you're going and what you've already accomplished. (Just don't take too much time...we have work to do tomorrow). Breathe...Stop beating yourself up...Stay strong.

Well I did my run/walk, ran half of it and walked the other half. It's just too humid to run all of it. So I feel better now, except that we went to the movies afterward and I ate a whole bunch of popcorn, so now I'm over budget calorie-wise. Oh well, tomorrow I'm going to get my butt out of bed early and do the 30 minute shred and the elliptical. Rah rah rah. Okay gotta go the kiddies are screaming for me to come tuck them in.

Good evening ladies,

dizzy and almeeker great to see your plan. Tomorrow I will walk again, early in the morning when it is cool around, 60 degrees. Stay on eatting plan and continue to record my daily food intake. I have not done this before for more than one day and though it has only been 2 days, I can see the benefits.
I need to do some research on what is average daily or recommended daily intake for fat, carbs etc..

Ok, it was nice to meet you all. See you tomorrow and have a great Monday.

Sue

Setbacks
 

Setbacks -- I know all about them......I ate over 3000 calories for the first time today and since I started fitday I have been eating only an average of 1200 per day. :confused:So I dont know what happened to me today. Things were going great I had lost nine pounds in 2 weeks, and then all of a sudden all chaos broke loose today. So I just want to encourage you to never give up.......I'm certainly not. I lost a battle today, but my weight loss war is far from over. I think one of my biggest mistakes was not drinking any water today like I normally do (I normally drink at least 8 glasses). So I'm just at a loss as to what came over me today. So setbacks will happen but I've learned to forgive myself and start trying again and be persistent.

Hi Tracey,

Wow! You lost 64 pounds in a year, AND YOU'VE MAINTAINED that loss for six months. That is fabulous! Staying the same for six months after losing a bunch is a HUGE SUCCESS. I think hitting plateaus is an important part of the process we are all going through. You've made some big changes. It takes time to get used to that and there are a lot of emotions involved. I think your body has to get used to it too (at age 25 even your skin will catch up!).

It's okay. It's better than okay - you've learned how to maintain your new weight. I think that's the most difficult part of weight loss. Well, that and getting rid of the last few pounds to reach goal weight.

When I was your age I had already started the cycle of lose-10-gain-15. You have managed to lose a whole lot of weight and then stay there while you get ready to lose the next part. And you ARE getting ready.

Maybe setting some mini-goals would help - something you KNOW you can accomplish. You might want to set a goal that has nothing to do with what the scales say. How about a goal like "I will make it a point to notice 3 things that are beautiful" (a flower? an animal?) or "I will help someone else" (carry something for her? help her with a math problem? read to her?). If your best friend were in your current circumstances what would you do to help her?

Hang in there kiddo. You'll get there.

Alice

Thankyou for all replies and alot of what you say makes sense-as always!
Although im not suffering pms and unfortunately im not able to go out of the house on evenings-having 2 kids at school they are in bed at 7pm and i havent got childcare at this time. I just need my willpower back! Its definately true that ive hit rock bottom after a dreadful week of emotions but i will pick myself up. Infact i AM picking myself up after reading the replies-you all give fantastic support and advice so thankyou.
Also i do realise that ive made huge lifestyle changes and i should be very proud of myself and congratulate myself for not gaining the weight back!!
In time i will get to goal, ive got to understand its not a race and i will do it in my own time. Nobody said it was going to be easy.
I had a good sleep last night and last night through the tv adverts i got off the sofa and jogged on the spot instead of going to the kitchen. Today im eating the right foods and ive drank lots of water so im back to feeling positive for now. Thankyou all again for helping me-you are the only people who really know what this journey feels like!! Good luck to us all

Hi everyone! It makes me feel better to read your posts because the past 10 days have been horrendous for me, nutrition-wise that is. My husband and I moved into a new house, and I validated eating pizza, ice cream, take out, cookies, etc. because my dishes were in boxes and I couldn't cook. Of course, it ended up being just an excuse to pig out for 10 straight days with the mindset that I'll start again after the move. I also didn't exercise for a week and a half due to moving boxes every night. Based on the amount of calories I've overeaten, I probably gained 3 1/2 pounds in the past week and a half (I haven't weighed myself yet). Saturday I started exercising again, but still ate badly through last night. I've gone to step aerobics classes the past three mornings, and I'm off from work this week, so I can fit a few extra classes in. Today I'm back on the eating healthy bandwagon. We'll see how that goes tonight when I get a craving for ice cream. :-)
Good luck everybody!

Comfort food and emotional eating are always a dangerous thing, but it's something that we have trained our body to do. When depressed, you want to reach for that cheeseburger because you deserve some comfort. It's also hard when our memories can be so strongly tied to food and comfort, like sitting around a big meal with the family or baking cookies with family. I know I ate to avoid having to process feelings that I was having. I could just chow down on a cupcake and focus on that instead of the pain I felt. I would feel better in the short term, but eventually the sugar crash would come and I'd feel crummy again. Not to mention the guilt of indulging like that and not process those feelings that will just sit there and wait until the next moment they can pop into my brain.

I've struggled with depression for years and antidepressants were only a temporary fix. I finally broke down and started seeing a therapist a year ago, and it is amazing how much better I am processing my feelings now. Journaling was a huge help. Writing down how I feel (like angry, guilty, unworthy, sad, etc) and writing down why I feel that way really helped me process them. Once I faced them & dealt with them, the cupcake didn't seem all that important anymore. I'm not saying I'm all the way there yet, but I am a different person than I was a year ago, and I think I can start tackling this weight thing head-on.

I would suggest, if possible, you consider some counseling or further look into why you reach for comfort food. I know counseling isn't a option for some people, so if you can, just reach for a journal & a pen whenever you're feeling down & in need of comfort food. Maybe by writing down your feelings & what is going on, it will help reduce the need for the food. I'm not saying it's going to get rid of it completely, but the more you do it, the more you can retrain your brain to think through those feelings rather than try to ignore them with food.

Congrats to you for making such huge strides already! 64lbs is amazing, and to keep it off is even better! Think of how far you've come. So many people give up right after they've started, but you've stuck it out once before. You can definitely do it again!

Something's been in the air for sure. My scale hasn't moved much lately and I know it's my own damn fault. Between having my daughter out of school and all this rain wreaking havoc on my joints, I haven't hit the gym in 2 weeks ><. The higher pain levels have me plain ol' wiped out and I just can't drag my butt out of bed early enough to do it. Haven't even gotten the kids out for a walk, thanks to the rain. I do well on eating during the week, but the weekends are killing me. Hubs is already on vacation, he has extra time this year, I'll be on vacation too after Friday. I guess at least the scale isn't moving up, but I can do better. I made a blackberry crumble yesterday with my daughter, her idea and she was sooo excited. Then she and my son both ate just the icecream, left the blackberry crumble, and my husband refused to even try it, so now it's either I eat the whole thing myself or waste 4 cups of fresh homegrown blackberries. I had some for breakfast with vanilla Greek yogurt, and it was good, within the plan but just a few minutes ago I was genuinely hungry. So I had a few slices of turkey, put that away, and there's that pan of crumble staring me in the face. I told myself I can have a bite. Well of course 1 bite turns to 2,3,4...and before I know it, I've had a whole serving. There goes my baked beans with dinner and I'll still be over by 150 calories. I think my brain's already up north on the beach, it's just so hard to try right now. I added my weight stats to my signature, maybe having that staring me in the face will motivate me.

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Thankyou Lizzie- im definately going to start a journal and write down my feelings instead of using food. Im hopeful that it will help me figure out why i feel a certain way. Notebook on tomorrows shopping list already! I think i will find it really helpful and it helps that i love writing so much....why didnt i think of this before!! Excellent idea and writing will keep my head out of the cupboards and my mind will be focusing on something else. I suppose also it will help me find patterns in my moods and question why certain cravings come at different times of day or when im feeling in a particular mood. So its kind of like self-help which im guessing will be very refreshing.Thankyou again

Tracey

The visible signs of progress in a weight loss program are often very slow to come. Healthy weight loss takes time, but that can be very discouraging. Be encouraged to know that for each day that you exercise and eat healthy foods in moderate quantities, you have made progress. It might not be measurable that day, but you have made progress and it will be measurable over a period of weeks and months.

Keep records of your progress. Every day write down the positive changes you've noticed and also keep a record of the exercise you do every day. Write down what you did, how long you did it, and any thoughts about your exercise that day. Keep a running total of your minutes. You can look back at what you've done with a great sense of accomplishment and you'll be motivated to do more.

Tracy Darling, hope you are already past that feeling down part. you have accomplished so much already, so the motivation and the will power is there, just try to find it again. i know you are controlling what you eat during the day, but the downfall is in the evening, so, as someone else suggested, plan something for the evenings to keep yourself occupied. don't spend time in front of the tv if that is bringing the need for snack up for you. read a book, go for a walk, play some nice music that you want to dance to, do something to occupy your time and mind so you won't think of the snacks. there are so many good replies or suggestion here, that i don't think i can add to, but i also love Vickytoria's idea of keeping a journal and keeping track of your activities, so even if you don't see an immediate result, you know you have done good for your body and health and all. anyway, i just wanted to let you know we are all here for you. just know that you are a strong, motivated, sexy girl, try to remember that all the time and don't let anything get you down!

Tracey, I'm new here and notice your current weight and goal weight are the same as mine and within the same timescales so we're on the same bit of our journeys. I want to get to 140lbs by Dec and am 175lbs at the moment. I dieted a long time ago and lost the first 20lbs in the drop of a hat but the last 10, my word did it hurt. In the end I accepted that there was nothing for it but the classes at the gym and I forced myself to swim twice a week and it did the trick. I am now having to push again even harder as I'n now older and the weight is higher than last time! I'm trying to imagine myself buying size 10 clothes and putting trousers on and looking great and feeling comfortable. I wish you the absolute best for that last push:D