No-one understands!!!!!!!!!!
 

I joined fitday yesterday after i had visited my mum and sisters, i told them i wanted to lose 30lb and get back into a size 10. They were not supportive at all, they said im fine as i am. Easy to say when they are all size 8. My partner also does`nt want me to lose any more weight, i started dieting in april and have lost 26lb so far which im very happy with but im not at my goal weight yet. Im 5`7" 172lb at the minute and my goal weight is 145. How can i get them to understand how i feel? chez xx:confused:

Chez: Just a forewarning, I do not know anything about you or your family, but here is my two cents.
They might believe that they are being supportive of you for all of the weight that you have lost and really do believe that you look beautiful. Or how you lost the weight originally made them worry about your mental and physical health and safety and they do not want you to go through that stress. Or they see how happy you are now that you are slimmer and can not imagine you any other way.

Though honestly, before you set off on this quest, I have to tell you that 145 is 10lbs below my "healthy weight" at 5'6 and if you follow the 10 lbs per ince rule then it is 20lbs below your healthy weight at 5'7. This would worry me if my daughter came forward and said that she wanted to be close to underweight.

and Finally: as far as sizes go- it all depends upon what you do. I am into weight lifting so I will be more dense with muscle and will weight more than another girl so is my size and does not lift. Runners are all about lean, functional muscle mass and tend to be smaller sizes because of that. Though I personally believe in having a well-rounded workout and lifestyle, because too much of one thing in the fitness realm could lead to a pre-mature death.

I lost the weight quickly with an appetite suppressent so maybe she is a bit worried but im the only one who struggles with my weight they are all slim so sometimes i just wish they would be more supportive. Thanx for your reply.

I've been pretty seriously dieting for about 6 months, and have lost about 84 pounds. The other day I was at my parents house and my mother, who has been riding my butt for years to lose some weight told me that I was skinny enough and to not lose anymore. WTF? Seriously? I'm still 35 pounds overweight. I tried to tell her that I wasn't doing any of this to be super skinny that I was interested in being healthy and fit, so yes I am going to continue to lose weight until I hit my goal of 120. I really don't know what you should weigh, but there is a healthy range for everybody. I'm shooting for smack dab in the middle of my range, so I can go up or down 10 pounds and not worry about it constantly.

Maybe it's the pills they are worried about? You might try to diet without them. If you've been using them for a while, your probably now used to eating fewer calories and you shouldn't really need them to keep going.

Hiya chez i just want to say that i understand to some degree where you are coming from. When i was growing up and still im a good 24lbs heavier then my sister and my mum. I was always reassured as a teenager by my mum that i was fine even though i was the heaviest of my school year but because it was my mum i believed her and carried on eating what i wanted. Then i got pregnant and because i was young and naive i believed when people said that the weight will come off when i have the baby. God,if only i was wise enough to know the truth i would never have been in the mess i was in. But ive lived and learnt as i grew older and started to take a big interest in health and nutrition. Now although im still 24lb heavier then my mum and sister i eat and drink alot healthier than them. Alot of me regrets becoming overweight in my teenage years but im turning that around now and starting to form into a woman in body and mind.
On the partner not wanting you to lose weight mine would be very happy if i was the way i am forever but he also understands that if i want to be totally body confident its important that i get to my goal.
I do agree though that it could be the pills that worry them. I tried to use all sorts of weight loss remedies and all they did was make me ill and the only way ive lost the weight i have so far is eating healthier and moving more. Be careful because they can become an obsession. The best way to lose weight is in a safe and steady way. This way we learn to achieve a healthy lifestyle that we can maintain once the weight has gone.
Im not going to tell you what to do but please be healthy. I know that being overweight can be depressing and when i knew i had to lose 7stone to reach my goal it was so daunting and this is why i started taking the pills thinking it would speed it up. For me they didnt work-i love food so had to eat. I also have 2 kids to live for and if i made myself to ill to look after them or even worse ended up in hospital under nourished it wouldnt be fair on them.
Ive given myself time to adjust to the healthy lifestyle and also teaching my kids how to be healthy along the way. At least when they are older i will be able to advice them rather than pull wool over their eyes like my mum did.
Good luck and well done on the 26lbs lost.
Take care of yourself!!!!!

Thanx for your reply and well done on your weight loss. I have also tried to aim for the middle of my healthy range which is 145lb. I feel good with my weight loss but still need to lose a bit more. i stopped taking the pills 2 weeks ago so im going to see how i get on without them.

hi tracey thanx for replying, its good to be able to talk to people who understand, im at the point now that i keep thinking if i lose the weight all my problems will be solved, i hope im not pulling the wool over my own eyes. I stopped taking the tablets 2 wks ago so i hope i can continue the weight loss alone.

Actually, I have to disagree with almost everything that was said here, but I will stick with one point. The rule is for a woman, starting at five feet is 100 pounds. FIVE pounds is added for each inch. For example, when I was in the army, I weighed 165 at 6'1." I could go up to 180 something and not be on the overweight program that they had set up. I never worried about that limit. However now I have looked at it and at my height the minimum safe weight is even lower than yours at 142 on just about each chart I have checked. Like you, I was afraid that I might be going too low. You might look down and see that is my goal weight but I am a double amputee and too look 165 to 175, I have to way that little bit, so it is causing me a little bit of trouble trying to adjust my caloric intake, but that is another story for another day. The weight of 145 for your height seems like a nice weight for you and I would go for it if I were you.

Sometimes, it might be best to do your own research and get the facts on your own. I would even verify what I have written, if I were you.

Enjoy your journey and blessings.

You definately can do it without the pills and you are not on your own-we are all here on the forum to help you through the bad times and praise you through your successes. You will do it,good luck and keep posted on your progress
Tracey x

I understand how non-supportive family is like.. but I have 2 pieces of info that can also play a part in it.. if not, that's great!, just disregard them...

Not all of us come from a perfect family and sometimes, believe it or not, your family might secretly not want you to succeed. And why would that be??

If you have spent your entire life hearing about your weight, and how pretty you would be if you only lost the weight.. then it a good chance that whoever did the harping/riding your butt about it.. no longer knows how to relate to you as the healthier you, and so they feel threatened and lost.

The other point is, it is very conceivable they are jealous. If you have been heavier than them for quite a while, perhaps they are now threatened that you might get smaller than them or would get more attention.

As I said, each situation is different, and if this doesnt describe you, then please ignore it :)

@ Jaybrodz: I stand corrected. Thank you for providing the correct information.

I just wanted to add that YOU need to do what YOU think is best for YOU.

My man also told me that he didn't want me to lose weight. After we broke up I found out that he said it because he didn't want any other man to have any interest in me. I'm not saying that's the reason your man doesn't want you to lose anymore weight either. He probably got accostomed to your current body weight now and in his eyes your a hottie. But if you want to lose more and it's within a healthy range then go on ahead and make YOU happy.

And your mom and sis probably think you look amazing now also. But in the end...you have to please you.

Best of luck and congrats on the weight you already lost!

hi gamegal, vicky, i completley agree all my sisters keep saying is that im getting more attention now with people saying how well i look. And as for my partner he seems upset all the time with me lately down to what i choose to wear, he definatley doesnt like the new attention. We went out on friday and i wore a dress which caused lots of friction between us but im not letting it stop me lose weight, if anything im more determined.
I think they are all slightly jealous of the new attention. I started jogging last week to tone up and asked if any of them would come but they wouldnt so im going alone. `whatever it takes`. thanx for the replys xx

I understand
 

I totally understand what you are going through.. I come from and overweight family... and I have always been healthy and fit until I went on bc and then still got pregnant.. after three kids I decided it was time to get my life back. So I started exercising and watching what i eat.. at 5'6" and 175lbs.. my mom called me up one day and gave me this big story about how she is worried about me that I am too skinny and she is afraid for my health... I was sooo upset.. I have lost all my weight through calorie counting and exercise... I think she just feels bad for herself and turns that oin me

I get what you're saying, my family and spouse is the same way. They don't understand. My advice is not to worry yourself about whether or not they understand why you're doing what you're doing, as long as they are not trying to stop you, than do what you have to do for YOU, not for anyone else.

I came across this website that mentioned the tables (formulae) for goal weights; I think these were based (on their lower end, it seems) on the calculation Jaynie was talking about, and that was the one I always heard, too. While that works for some people, it doesn't work for everyone...scroll to the bottom to read the problems with this, not the least of which is that they are ancient: Met life ideal height weight tables references. The rest of the site is also really interesting, BTW.

Despite the problems, that's what I and a lot of others have in my head as "goal weight." However, I'm trying to branch out and look at things like a goal BMI and a goal body fat percentage as well. I think setting a goal weight is very hard, personally. I know that when I hit my goal weight and my body did not magically rearrange into wonderful proportions, I was underwhelmed. I continued to lose a little more on maintenance and so I guess this is my new goal...to stay where I am. My point is, don't put pressure on yourself to pigeonhole your weight into a certain number or range that someone else says is what it should be...it should be the weight at which you feel healthiest and are healthiest; you can always ask your doctor to weigh in on it.

Bringing up the other topic. I hear what you're saying about family support. My hubs and son are extremely supportive and I'm so thankful. But I will be visiting family soon and I know I will hear from my mom that I'm too thin. Should I grab my still wiggly thighs and wave them at her? I keep trying to think of the one thing I can say that will not invite further comment. I am sure it is concern on her part. But the previous posters are right...sometimes it is jealousy and sometimes it is guilt on their part, knowing that they should be healthier than they are and feeling embarrassed that they aren't making changes. As long as you do what you know to be right for you and are honest with yourself about that, you can't go wrong.

In reference to significant others and comments about weight lost...my boyfriend is thrilled about how great I look (even overheard some of his employees saying how hot his g/f is..that would be me!). But at the same time, he has voiced concern that I'll get 'obsessed' with losing weight and might end up way too skinny and look gross. All I can do is let him know that such a thing won't happen and keep doing what I think is best. When I get to a place where I'm comfortable with my body no matter what, that's when I'll stop and start the maintenance journey.

My mother has already told me I need to stop losing, but I'm soooo much thinner than I've ever been, I think it's just a shock for her!

At last my boyfriend said how good i look last night, i had a very clingy dress on which i would never even dream of wearing before, but now it clings on all the right places. I couldnt believe it when he said it looked good, he did say though that he prefers me bigger (even though he thinks megan fox is hot and shes mega skinny lol) but at least he gave me a compliment. My mum went on holiday yesterday for two weeks so im going to realy be good this week and hopefully lose a bit more. I think i understand also why my mum and sisters are not being supportive. My mum is only 17 yrs older than me and the gap is even shorter if you count the way she dresses and looks, she definately doesnt look her age and we did everything together even night clubs, and my sisters are 22, 18, 16, they are all used to getting the attention and see me as a threat now, but i know they love me and they just need to get used to the way i am now. I spent so many years saying im on a diet and never lost anything that they all probably thought it would never happen.