No Self-control
 

Hi everyone,

I have been on yo-yo diets seem like forever. I am 40 years old and weigh 220 lbs at 5' 3 feet. Needless to say my bmi is way over the top, OBESE. I have high blood pressure and borderline diabetic. My goal is 125. I was always skinny growing up than I gained a little after I stopped playing basketball (senior year of high school), maintained that okay size until I got married and I blew up like a balloon. Got too comfortable I guess. Now we are no longer together and I am still big as a balloon (or a couple of balloons put together).

My problem is self-control. I eat whenever, bored, stressed, to stay awake at work, and lonely [mostly]. No motivation. I know I need to do something before my blood pressure takes even more control but just don't know where to start or how to maintain once I do start.

Hi pycook69!

Welcome to FitDay :). You will find a lot of valuable resources here, not the least of which is the ability to track your food and exercise, which will tell you what needs to change.

In the beginning, it seems like a lot has to change. My advice would be to take one step at a time, make one small change at a time, and slowly replace all your old, bad habits with new, better ones. Promising yourself one change is a LOT easier on the motivation end than feeling like you have to change everything.

I don't know what your downfalls are other than eating for emotional reasons, but, for example, one place to start would be to give up something that provides you with no nutritional value whatsoever (soda, Milky Ways, whatever). It would be a great option to get a little bit of exercise, too, even a five or ten minute walk up and down the block, as a way to distract yourself from eating or drinking whatever you've decided to avoid. You can always build from there.

The cool thing is that there are no rules. The bad thing is that there are no rules. It would be great if there was a great big book with all the solutions in it, but there isn't. However, it does give each one of us the freedom to figure out what works for us personally and to do that. It is a trial and error process and it takes a while, but you can do it. You are worth taking care of and worth being healthy.

So...that said, are you ready to pick one thing to change? Post it, or find some other way to be accountable to yourself, and make yourself a priority (ya, easier said than done, but you can). A lot of small steps add up to big losses!

Do some digging around online about healthy lifestyle related things. It motivates me to do new things and stay focused. Plus I walk to the library (not a short walk...something like an hour each way!) and get books. One of my favorites is by Covert Bailey titled "the Ultimate Fit or Fat" (he has a series of 'fit or fat' books that were updated every so often as new info was established). It changed the way I think about exercise, and while I haven't read any of his nutrition books yet, he also talks about those. I just loved that he talks about gentle exercise and makes it seem less overwhelming to start getting healthy.

I know there are a lot of books out there, but I happen to like his! Hope your journey begins with some energy!

Oh honey, I feel your pain. I'm 41, and when I started down this road I weighed in at a hefty 244.6 pounds. I started dieting last fall, lost 16 pounds and then stopped dieting during the holidays, gained back 10 of the 16. On Christmas Day I got on our brand new Wii Fit Plus and it said I weighed twice what I should, called me obese and added love handles to my mini Mii. Needless to say that's when it stopped being fun for me. I've done pretty well so far, but I've done exactly what cjohnson said, and taken it one bad habit at a time. For the first few days I didn't really diet, I just wrote down what I ate, when I ate it and sometimes why I ate it. This was a great exercise for me, because it gave me a way to study my habits, and pinpoint the worst ones first. Over time I've worked to get rid of the worst ones, and make some new good ones. I still have a ways to go, but I'm very determined to get there and I really think I'm going to make it and then keep it off. Fitday has been a huge help in studying own personal physical fitness and setting new challenging goals for myself. I would like to invite you to join the 100+ club, those ladies are great and we're all in the same boat together. And well we're all in it for the long haul too...

You've been given some great advice already, but I just wanted to say hi and welcome you. The hardest part can be getting started, so you've taken a major step by joining FitDay and and posting here! Great job!

Someone once gave me some advice about motivation/self-control that was really helpful... saying you're not motivated or don't have self-control is one of the worst things you can do, because it's like giving yourself an excuse or permission to slack off. Tell yourself you're motivated and have self-control, and use that to do what you know you need to do for your health! You can do it!!!

Best wishes!

Thanks everyone for welcoming me to the Family,

Was nervous about posting my problems at first but I am really glad I did because now I have all of this sound advice and support.

I will start keeping track of what I eat and why and eliminate one bad habit at a time. Never thought about changing what I say because I have always put myself down one way or another so when someone else says it I was like tell me something I don't already know. Thanks fletch8502 i will start saying, "I do have self control and I am motivated!!!"

May be a stupid question but how is everyone putting there starting weight and goal info at the bottom are you typing it everytime or something special i can do?

Paula

Hi Paula, glad to have you! Keep posting and you will get a ton of support and advice, which you are free to take or leave. Glad to hear you talking positive, girl!

If you want to post stats (just so happens all of us who responded did, but not everyone does, and you definitely don't have to), go to the User CP tab on the blue bar up top on the left. When you click on that, you will get options on the left, click on Edit Signature and you can put in whatever you want.

Thanks Cassie, I will do that now!

I don't do luck so pray I can keep up with my NEW positive talk. Going to work talk to everyone later.

Did it thanks.

I love to see your positive, motivated statement in red and italics! You go, girl! You're off on the right foot and all of us will be here to support you when you need us. =)

Have a great week!

Good Morning,

Why is it that when you make up your mind to do right and eat healthy you get cravings for EVERYTHING!!!!????? I am craving sweets, salt and just plain old goooooood foooooood.:)

That happens to me all the time, too! Sad, isn't it?

Are you actually physically hungry? If so, choose a healthy meal/snack with a good balance of carbs, protein, and some healthy fat. Drink plenty of water, too!

If you're not hungry, just bored, stressed, etc., drink lots of water, chew some gum, and distract yoursel! Take on a project, do some exercise, etc.

You can do it!

Hi pycook,

I know what you mean about the cravings. In the beginning of my journey I had the same problem. What got me through it was a little bit of everything that was going on around me. I hope I don't bore you but I am willing to share.

I'm a single mother of 3. 2 of my children are disabled. I donated blood and found out I had high cholesterol. I need to be here for my kids so that was one big push.

My mom is diabetic. It hurts me to watch her schedule her day of when she can eat and when she cannot, For her insulin. Pricking her fingers. Bandages. I started noticing I don't want to live that way.

My grandfather has had 3 strokes and 1 heart attack. I see how he suffers. He walks very slow, out of breath easily. I surely don't want to be a burden to my children for as long as I can help it.

These things plus others pushed me in the right direction. It wasn't easy. I use to cry after I binged because I knew it was wrong and I didn't want to be like my mom or grandfather. I use to visit my kids' bedrooms one by one and see how happy they were sleeping knowing I was here with them.

I want to continue to be here with them.

So, I trained myself. I threw away all the sodas first. That alone helped me lose 5 lbs in 1 week. Started baking everything instead of frying. Whole wheat breads. Tons of water. I drink 100 oz of water a day. I read somewhere water helps melt away fat when you drink it at room temperature. I had to really train myself to drink hot water. Take plenty of vitamins. I restricted myself to 1200 calories a day. I try to walk twice a week (1 hour = about 6 miles) and a work out dance DVD once a week (45 minutes).

Just try and see what works for you. We have faith in you.

Hi. I would like to invite you to the 100 Plus corner also. Check out mypyramid.com. If you run your info, it will only go down to a low of 2000 cal intake a day. Remember this is a gov't site, but to the right you can tab to different calorie intakes and it will break it down to the correct amount of each food group that you should be eating. I know what also has worked for me is not just the lovely ladies at the forum, but when I do my own research to find out why this or why that. By the way, there is also a meal planner at that other site and it is much easier because you can copy it from day to day. Like I always eat the same b'fast of cereal and milk. I usually eat the dinner from the day before for the next lunch or later in the week. You can copy in that way. It can always be changed later but for me, one of the hard things for me about dieting was matching my shopping list or what I had in the house with healthful meals and snacks and now I don't have to worry about that for a week. It saves it for seven days.

Good Morning Ladies,

I over did it yesterday but I am jumping back on the wagon today. I would like to say I haven't had a soft drink in 3 days. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!. I wanted one so bad yesterday but I resisted, yea for me.

I have written down everything I put in my mouth and the conclusion I have come to is I EAT TOOOOO MUCCCCH. :) I eat a lot of carbs in a run of a day and I need to get a better handle on that.

Also, has anyone tried Alli? I am thinking about getting a little extra boost. Let me know if you have and what you think of it.

Got to run holler at you Beautiful Ladies later,

Hello Pycook, and welcome to FitDay and your newfound commitment to yourself. I haven't tried Alli, but I wanted to respond to your comment regarding cravings.

I hope I don't get lambasted for saying this, but I believe that it is so important to realize and truly internalize that there is no such thing as a "bad" food. By emotionalizing what we eat, we do ourselves a bad turn. Let me explain a bit as to what I mean, and yes, this has everything to do with cravings... If I tell myself that cheeseburgers, ice cream and chips are "bad" foods (these are all 'trigger' foods for me, by the way), then I will continue to want and want and want and want them. However, if I tell myself, "hey, I can have whatever I want - IN MODERATION," then lo and behold, my cravings actually start to abate. This is not something that happens overnight, and please don't think I'm saying to eat whatever you want any old time - clearly, we're all here because our diet and lifestyle needs changing or we are focused on maintaining the good habits we worked at developing. My point only is that in terms of a permanent lifestyle change, it is just not reasonable to never ever eat high fat/carb foods again. The trick is moderation.

No, I don't keep my 'trigger' foods at home, but if I have ice cream once a month (I think you can guess what time of the month that is :D), it's just not a big deal as long as long as I do so in moderation. The cool thing also about changing your diet is that the healthier you eat, the better you'll feel, and those high fat foods just won't hold as much as a draw as they do now.

Yes, hold yourself accountable for everything you eat. Yes, improve your diet. Just don't think you can't eat certain foods ever again because you are changing your lifestyle. The emphasis is on a lifestyle change, not on a diet you'll be on for a few months and then go back to the unhealthy habits you had before. If it helps to eliminate high-fat/carb food at first to avoid binges, by all means go that route - we all work differently, as another member had mentioned. But no food is 'bad' - there are simply some foods that are better enjoyed once in awhile in moderation.

I don't mean to get on a soapbox (I didn't even mean to write so much!); I'm no guru, just a woman who's had a weight problem her whole life and is finally learning how to take care of myself long-term, and not just for a few months on a 'diet.'

Thank you changeisgood29 ,

Never thought about it that way and you know what it makes a lot of since. It is like when you were young and your mom and dad told you they didn't like the guy you were dating and low and behold your LOVE for him grew 10X's more. :)

I will look at it that way for now on and see how I handle it. Thanks again.