New and needing support

Old 12-30-2015, 02:15 AM
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Default New and needing support

This a new experience for me trying to lose weight. In high school and college I was the athlete and I easily maintain my weight. After graduating college in 2008, I still had a very healthy weight. Then marriage; and that is when I start gaining some weight. At first I blamed it on having surgery on my legs a week after our honeymoon. I was in a cast for 2 months. About 2 and half months later I become pregnant. During pregnancy I gain 90 pounds. I was so frustrated with myself about all the weight I gained. I had my baby and loss 40 pounds right away and then another 10 pounds. It has been over a year and a half since I had my son and I am so despersately trying to get back to my weight before surgery. It has been a struggle for me to reteach myself how to run. My surgery on both legs was to repair my achilles tendons. I feel like I have let my husband and myself down. My husband makes remarks like you don't look like you use to or I can see you aren't losing weight. All I want is to scream at him and tell him he has gained a few pounds too, but I don't. I don't want him to feel down on himself. I think it has put a little strain on the marriage because I don't see how he can see me still attractive. It feels good to write about this hurt inside of me.
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Old 12-30-2015, 02:30 PM
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Maybe walking instead of running would be easier? At least in the beginning of your campaign to get back in shape.

There are so many diets out there (just perusing amazon, you can see all the varieties).

They all work if they succeed in making you reduce your calorie intake. Exercise takes longer to achieve the same results.

T.O.P.S., Overeaters Anonymous, and WW are some programs that keep you focused on the goal. Online support works just as well for some people (there's an awesome support online in this message board.) Whatever diet you choose, it has to work for you in your environment, with your stresses, and your resources.

I wish you luck! A lot of us are here to lose weight. Some just to improve health.

Logging your food with Fitday can give you a handle on where you can trim calories. There are lots of tools and reports on this site that can help. The Motivation and Support message board here has some inspiring challenges and support, too!
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:52 PM
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Let me begin by saying I've never had children or a serious knee injury (with surgery) to understand fully what you've been through. I've also never been married, but I know relationships and the pressures that come with it - especially for women and their image.

One thing I do know is what has worked for ME: exercising and eating for the right reasons... with surprising results.

My best advice is to alter your perspective about becoming healthier. Don't think about how you "need to lose weight" or even "want to lose weight" but rather, "I want to be healthy." This includes having a healthy heart, mind and more. You can train yourself to eat healthier so that you can live longer for your child and husband. You can also start by exercising as a get-away (walking for example, like stated above) and eventually you'll increase your stride into running. You don't need a gym to do this. Just some fresh air and a sidewalk or trail.

Let me provide an example. I used to think peppers were gross. But then I read they gave you energy. Knowing I wanted to have a great mood throughout my workday, I started telling myself these peppers were tasty and are one step in the right direction. So I started adding them to meals any possible way I could without overdoing it.

In terms of exercising... Running completely exhausted me. I always got shin splits, it was too cold outside, or I put so much pressure on myself to run 3 miles a day. What? Such a random (and extreme) goal to set for myself. I tossed that quick. I started yoga and found such joy in it. Then I started going to outdoor basketball courts in the spring/summer to shoot hoops. I had always played basketball growing up, so this was a great way to just move a little more than I would have being on the couch. Maybe this could be something you do with your son? My point is that you should start small... until it becomes a lifestyle.

I promise you though, if you choose to do this, you must do it for YOU. Yes, you want to be more attractive to your husband and healthier AND happier for your child (and possibly future children), but this is your life. You are most important. It's not selfish either.
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Old 01-22-2016, 07:40 PM
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jenmar14, your words are so inspiring! I support your idea that all we are doing with our body it's up to us and we should be doing this just for us first of all. You can benefit from being attractive and healthy. It improves quality of your life and helps to develope the relations with people surrounding you. Loosing weight is a long and hard process but the result is worth it. Wish you luck and health!
Am340327, your story is really touching. It's a pity that you were made to go through this surgery but you are really young and you have the issues to struggle for. Just imagine the smile of you kid and admiration of your husband when seeing slender and happy mom/wife. I wish your patience. I am sure everything is going to be all right !
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