Invent a Diet
 

So lots of company's make millions and millions of dollars on really dumb dieting products, let's make up some and maybe we will make money too!
WARNING! The diet that follows is rather gross so if you are grossed out easily you might not want to read it. :D

The Worm Diet

"I lost 30 in 4 days without even trying!" Linda
"My jeans started feeling looser AS I WAS WEARING THEM!!!" Sue

You could be the next person to lose weight with this new, innovative and all natural product! Simply buy a packet of starter capsules for only $24.99! All you have to do is drink a glass of whole milk then swallow one capsule before your breakfast in the morning. Do this for three days and you will be all set! You will lose weight FAST without changing your diet or exercise program in ANY way!
So how does it work?
Each capsule contains thousands of tapeworm eggs which will eat and digest your food for you! If you eat 30,000 calories a day they will eat almost all of it so your body will only take in about 1,000 calories! It is PROVEN to work!


* side effects may include
Nausea
Weakness
Loss of appetite
Abdominal pain
Diarrhea
Seizures
Fever
Cystic masses or lumps
Allergic reactions to the larvae
Bacterial infections
Neurological symptoms or seizures

Your turn!

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:D:D:D well it isn't exactly a diet, it's more like a weight loss method, and I sincerely apologise to anyone who might be offended :cool:

MunaAmin, I am coming over right now!

lose weight quickly with a RDP
 

For just 3 easy payments of $29.95 we'll send you our revolutionary new RDP (Reusuable Diet Pill)that is guaranteed to make you shed that unwanted weight.

Our kit includes one RDP that is made of an unltra safe plastic that you can use over and over. Our lab ran numerous tests against a placebo and time and time again our RDP beat the placebo. We've also ran it against the latest craze, the worm diet and had similar results, without the side effects.

Here's how it works, everytime you get hungy or have the munchies, simply put the pill between your teeth and hold it. Our tests have shown that when your mounth is held shut, by the RDP, you quit eating. This will strike up your TMR (Thermo Metabolic Rate) and the pounds will fly away.

Order now, while supplies last!

BUT WAIT!!!

There's more, Order within the next 10 minutes and we'll send you Two for the price of one, just pay extra shipping and processing. The second pill works great as a birth control device. Just place the second pill between your knees and let the pill do the rest!

I am just sitting at my desk cracking up!!! This is too funny!

Oh dear... you're supposed to swallow pills (not just hold them); so when I read "reusable" :eek: I got really grossed out.

Funny! I always have had in the back of my mind that I'd write a diet book entitled "How to lose weight eating chocolate every day" I'd include some really technical sounding B.S. and sample menus (using salads and fruits and that skinless chicken that's in every diet book) but include a small candy bar. It wouldn't be too hard to do, and I could make millions, esp if I got it published right around January. Anyone want to ghost write it for me?

Tamara
1) I'm allergic to milk and 2)jockeys already do use the tapeworm diet. At least they used to. Read Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand if you want to be really grossed out by diet.

The newest, easiest way to lose those unwanted pounds for FREE! No pills needed! And it is FDA approved! :D

The "High Protein, Don't Bug Me Eating Plan" is the newest, most effective way to lose weight! Try it now, absolutely FREE! ;)

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CBgQFjAA&url=h ttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.sixwise.com%2Fnewsletters%2F05%2F0 6%2F29%2Fhow_many_insect_parts_and_rodent_hairs_ar e_allowed_in_your_food.htm&rct=j&q=are%20there%20f da%20approved%20bugs%20in%20food&ei=mJ0JTe_tE8Gp8A bznLCfAQ&usg=AFQjCNFDFpNORMSEEdbHnjjawbsrLmYoyg&si g2=b6kTUg55zkerLZkKzA-UOg&cad=rja

My uncle had an idea of the eat all you want just spit it out diet. It includes two plates, one for the food you eat, the other for the food you spit out.

But don't laugh I think I actually saw a spit out your food diet somewhere. Why is that not surprising?

Bummer! Now I can't have all the fame and glory from inventing it.

yeah it's called 'chew and spit' and it's popular in groups of girls with eating disorders ;)

Remember Ayds?

Little hunks of cellophane-wrapped chocolate fudge the size of a carmel that you ate with a hot beverage--they were supposed to help you lose weight. They kinda disappeared after the discovery of AIDS back in the '80s, I think.

Oh my gosh Sister Jen and Muna Amin, my uncle's idea does sound like bulimia.

And yes I do remember Ayds and even I who tried just about every diet known to womankind (and drank Tab and Fresca; am I dating myself?) knew that eating a tiny square of chocolate caramel wouldn't help me lose weight. Unless there was something like caffeine or amphetamines or who knows what in it.

I think peanut butter and pop tarts had the highest % of bug and rodent parts in another article I read. Yuck!

I'm sorry. Highest percent of what?

So does anyone know where I could get my hands on a tapeworm?
;)

Oops, I thought I was quoting SisterJen! Highest % of bug and rodent parts, I edited my post! :D

Meh, it's been done...:p Yes, it's real, and in 100 years we'll be poking fun at HCG

Google Image Result for http://summertomato.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/tapeworm-diet.jpg

I work in a vet's office, they're pretty easy to come by for me. Or adopt a dog with fleas. Fleas carry tapeworms, so in about 3 months you'll have your own personal supply. If you're impatient, just swallow a few fleas and you can speed the process along.

Oh, last I heard years and years ago, it was oatmeal and hot dogs. And looking at the other quotes here what's a few bug parts among friends?

And Lizzy I already think HCG is scary. (The hormone from the urine of pregnant women. And we think we're making strange stuff up in this thread!!!) But the prononents of it swear by it so what can I say? I know, I haven't done it so I shouldn't judge but from an outsider's point of view, it does sound strange.