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spirittalker 01-07-2010 11:06 PM

I feel a lil like i am reporting to AA. Hi my name is Susan and I am obese. I guess not by the definition of morbidly so but bad enough that my BMI is well into the obese category. In September of 2008 I made it to 149 lbs. I then proceeded to pack on 86 pounds over the next year and a few months to end up here. The biggest I have ever been. I feel awful. i am tired all the time. I threw away all my fat clothes only to have to buy new ones. I am angry at myself for letting this happen after all my hard work. I am ashamed to go back to my old forum and admit I blew it. I am not even sure if I have it in me to do this again. It's so much easier to just eat what I want when I want. I have spent half of my work day on Kaisers website filling out all their crap and profiles and stuff and am semi motivated. So I am back at fitday, a tool i have found to be extremely effective in my battle of the bulge in past attempts. I decided to check out the forum, and ask for help, support, and accountability. Anyway, that's my story and I am sticking to it.

Este78 01-08-2010 10:37 PM

Hello Spirttalker, I read your post and all I can say is bravo! Your taking

Today, I found this site by accident and I'm glad. B/c I truely feel like I can really do this, am alive, love the lord, have supportive family etc. Theirs nothing in this world will hold me back from my goal.:D

karinmoses 01-20-2010 02:20 AM

time to forgive yourself
As someone who has lost and then gained weight back, I can relate to how you are feeling. I wish I had the magic answer as to how this kind of thing happens. Personally, I'm trying to think of things differently. I have tied so much of my self esteem to that number on the scale, that when I have an off day, I look at it as a failure and then punish myself by eating more. Maybe it's time for both of us to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, and realize that we're both worth it!! Here's to our upcoming success :D

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