Hi, I'm kind of new here
 

Hi everyone, my real name is DeAnna. I'm painfully shy and took me a few days (uh... weeks?) to work up the courage to introduce myself.
I'm 21 yrs old, I stand at nearly 5'1"ish, and have been battling anorexia for about 6 years now. I decided that keeping count of my calorie and nutrition intake would be a good way to help keep me from cutting back (something I'm always doing).

I come from an over-weight family and that is the image I have always had of myself. It came to a head when I was about 15 and was filling out a little and some people in my family made some rather snide remarks about my weight (I was comfortably wearing a size 3 jeans btw). Instead of laughing off their comments I took them too much to heart and began dieting obsessively. Long story short, I dropped from maybe 110 (I don't really know) to 94lbs. Right now I'm at 91 and have decided (with a lot of outside help) that I really need to start taking care of myself.

It seems like most everyone on here is needing to lose not gain, but I figured that, in a way, it's really the same problem (just in reverse) and wouldn't mind making a few friends to share a little encouragement and support with.:o

Welcome DeAnna! I am new here too (only a couple of weeks.) Well it seems that we have taken that first step with getting healthy. Glad you are here and I have noticed that there are a lot of folks that are great for encouragement on these forums. Good luck to us both, and hopefully we will make many new friends.

I think you are right, controlling your calories whether you struggle with eating too much or too little is the same process. You just need to make it a lifestyle change. Changing how we see food and diet is (in my opinion) mostly a mental battle. Getting your attitude right can be the hardest part. Good luck with your journey. I would suggest you join in on some of the regular threads like the '7 day motivational thread' that is stickied at the top of the Womens section. It is a great set of people who help each other stay accountable for their goals and provide encouragement and motivation.

Hi DeAnna!

I too have struggled with an eating disorder for... a long time. I'm 23, and just started to try and get some help and overcome it, but It's been really hard. I still struggle with my relationship with food and relapse and stop eating. I've found (through a lot of therapy) that it's almost been like a coping method for me or a way to punish myself. As we both know, an eating disorder is not just about the food and being thin, but also has a lot to do with feeling, emotions, etc that we can't control.
I think you're really brave for sharing. I first posted my story a few days ago and was really scared that people were going to respond negatively, especially where most people are trying to lose weight. But, surprisingly, people were really accepting and understanding, which made me feel really good and supported.
If you ever want to chat with someone who probably has some similar experiences as you, I'm here. We could exchange emails if you wanted. I really only have one friend who has ever struggled with an eating disorder and whenever we get together it's really nice because we understand each other and know that no judgements will be passed. It's nice having someone who gets you.
Anyway, best of luck!

Emily

Hi Emily,

Thank you so much for responding and sharing; I was also worried about the reception I would get, but everyone seems to be really nice.
I had a friend who struggled with it too, but she has a family and a life of her own and she and I were never able to get together. It would be really nice to be able to talk with someone who understands, though it's rather hard for me to talk or ask for help. As I said before, I tend to be shy and I'm also one of those "do-it-yourself" problem-solvers; unfortunately this is one problem that I have been failing at miserably.

Thank you again!
DeAnna

Hi rpmcduff,
Thank you for the suggestion, I will look into it. I agree that changing my attitude is one of the hardest parts of this whole thing; it will definitely be a "mental battle".
DeAnna

Welcome DeAnna! I have been at Overeater's Anonymous meetings where people struggling with anorexia and bulemia were sharing along with people struggling with eating too much - it seems like two sides of related issues - using food for emotional care rather than physical need. In any case, this is by and large a really non-judgmental group of people. We all have our frailties and problems, and we are here to help ourselves get better, and if our sharing can help others, it is a blessing. Jaime

welcome....Dont worry Ive be seeing a few of us "under eaters" lately, ya aint alone. Think Im the only guy though. Even now Im suppose to eat about 700cal within 2 hours....aint lookin good. Might be a good idea to start our own thread to encourage others with the same situation .

I think that's a great idea JimmyJohnny!

I'm going home this weekend to visit my grandma. Apparently, my nutritionist and therapist have noticed that I start restricting again when I go home or am with my family. It's definitely a trigger for me. Just hoping I can get through this weekend, eat some healthy meals (and enjoy them) and not think too much about the calories.

Hi JimmyJonny,
I like your idea too; I have checked out some of the other threads and it's hard to know where I might fit-in, if you know what I mean.

eyolleck,
I have to measure everything I eat or I start restricting myself too... I know what you mean about family; my parents are fine, but being around my sister often effects the way I eat... Good luck, hope you have a good time!