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hellcat666 07-13-2012 06:44 PM

new on FitDay - trying to finally change my life
Hello everyone! I'm 21 and for the last year and a half I have been strugling with my weight. It all started in my last year of high school in the winter when the graduation stress started to get to me. I quit my majorettes trainings and started to spend all my time either behind books studying and eating chocolate and other junk food or in front of the TV with chocolate bar in my hand. I managed to lose some weight during my kidney infection, just in time for shopping for my prom dress. Somehow I managed to maintain my weight for a month, untill my prom. Now I have this gorgeous dress just hanging in my closet because I can't get in it anymore :(:o:(. Since prom, I have gained probably 14kg, that is 30.8 lbs, more. At the beginning of college last year I had 76kg (167 lbs) and I am only 5'3".
Since October 2010 I have been trying to lose weight. It was of course unsuccessful, I only managed to realize that I am an emotional eater which only put me depper into my sadness and guilt. And now, ever since last July I have been trying really hard to change myself to finally lose some weight. It hit me, when my boyfriend for 4 years said that he will leave me if I don't lose some weigt. I also started to feel his interest towards me decreasing.
So now is my final attempt. I know myself that well, that once I get to the weight I want for myself I will be able to maintain it since I managed to resolve most of my emotional trouble.
But I will not be able to do it alone. I would be very grateful if I got some support from you guys. I really am hoping to achieve my ideal weight by the end of September.

JaimeMWS 07-13-2012 08:45 PM

Hi Hellcat! It sounds like you have had some rough times. I have found good support on this site, especially for exercise.

Don't beat yourself up for not having succeeded yet in losing weight: it is a hard thing to do. First, there is a lot of bad information out there about how to do it. Second, it requires ignoring a constant barrage of food cues from the "food industry." Third, it requires eating differently than 90% of your friends, at a time in your life when friends are really important. Fourth, the foods that are best for those of us losing weight - low-carb vegetables and lean protein - are not the ones that are readily available in most places. It sounds like you might be at the stage of life when you have reached your full adult size - which means you need fewer calories than you did when you were growing. This can be a hard adjustment even without emotional challenges.

So celebrate the small victories! Give yourself permission to experiment with diet and exercise: try a plan for two weeks. Track how you feel as well as your weight. Journal your challenges and successes and feelings. Then assess at the end of two weeks. What is working? What isn't? Tweak and try again. When someone gives you "a diet," check it against other scientific sources. (the online Science News site can be a good source of information.) You will find people on this site use a variety of techniques to achieve success - browsing around will give you ideas that you can check against your experience.

Let your boyfriend know how he can support you. Do you exercise together? Would you like to? Does he support your eating plan, or does he expect you to eat like him? Ultimatums might provide you with some initial motivation, but for you to succeed you need his support, not his judgment. Ultimately, this is something you are doing for yourself. You are investing in long-term health and energy and fitness. You are worth it!

age 55, mother of two young women
present weight 175. highest weight 190. goal 150 and fit.

hellcat666 07-13-2012 09:06 PM

Thank you so much Jaime :) Throughout my journey I learned that I can allow myself a few slips every now and then. I find it the most difficult to combine two different lifestyles into one. I like going out in the evening with my friends and have a bier or two but I learned that red wine is best if you feel like drinking alcohol during your weight loss? Is that true? Because I am trying really hard to change beer for red wine. I am not a regular drinker, but ocasionally I like it. In the past I managed to lose a few pounds including my beer guilty pleasure...I just hope I can do it again :) When it comes to this, I do not drink because of my friends, I often order water or natural juice but I find it very relaxing etheir way, as long as my friends are around :) maybe that is why in the past I could do it. Because now, I am almost avoiding going out because I am afraid that it will affect my weight loss with bad decisions regarding my food and drink. It is very difficult to get over those emotions. Guilt and the sense of defeat are the worst.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really hope that I will find here all support that I need, since my best friend is not only against my weight loss but is also mocking my decision to get in shape. I am working on getting myself a new best friend :)

You gave me courage to start this journey all over again and I hope it will be the last. Since here in Slovenia is now 10 p.m. I will start my journey first thing tomorrow morning. :-D

Thank you again so much :-)

JaimeMWS 07-13-2012 10:01 PM

Best wishes - it sounds like you are on the right path! Concerning beer, etc. It depends what program you are following. For me, reducing carbohydrates is necessary. I find that I can have a glass of dry wine in the evening and still lose weight, if it is followed by or is with a healthy dinner. Fruit juice is worse for me than wine. So it works best if I have a glass of wine and then switch to mineral water. (If I drink more than one glass my resolve to avoid unhealthy foods slips. As one of the Protein Power doctors put it, "alcohol is a gateway drug to carbs." You might look at the site for Carbohydrate Addicts to see if you, like me, need to reduce carbs to lose weight or if you just need to count calories. When I was younger I lost a lot of weight and kept if off for 5 years on the Carbohydrate Addicts Lifespan Program. One of the benefits of it was that I could eat dinner with my friends or colleagues or family, if I was careful of portions and timing. As you change your lifestyle to be healthier, you will find new friends who share that commitment to health. Good luck, and don't beat yourself up! Jaime

kitsune989 07-15-2012 12:43 AM

I'm definitely an emotional eater. Its my biggest pitfall when it comes to dieting. I find doing something with my hands helps ( I knit). Personally I'm a big advocate of traditional japanese and mediterranean style diets. Both cultures have the longest healthiest lifespans in the world. The food is really tastey too :) the thing is portion control! I actually prefer wine over beer anyway, but I've seen that a few glasses a week (not everynight!) can be heart healthy. I also had amazing success with a program called couch to 5k. Its a running program meant for people who do nothing. It was a perfect start for me as I have asthma and it was slow enough I could keep up but not so slow I got bored. I even used a free podcast. They say that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise but that exercise is what keeps you from being skinny fat. Finding something you like is really key to success. If you aren't a big fan of traditional exercise I highly recommend pole dancing. Most areas have schools, and its not just for strippers! It is some of the best exercise I've ever seen being both cardio and strength. If you want to see something amazing youtube felix cane. She is the world champion and has never stepped foot in a night club. In fact she's in cirque de sole and is so talented and sexy!

hellcat666 07-15-2012 04:21 PM

Hi kitsune! I come from Slovenia therefore mediterranean style eating is very close to me. I am also more vegetable person than meat so it is the right choice for me. I am lucky that we have a garden in our back yard so everything I eat is fresh and most importantly, bio, without any kind of pesticides (well, we use natural pesticides made out of vinegar etc). I also have asthma but I really don't like running, I prefer cycling :)

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