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Old 02-10-2012, 07:42 AM   #1
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Exclamation Only 14 :p So sue me.

Hey, I'm Saii. I've joined because I need to have some type of structure. For me, this provides it. I'm only 14 and I weigh 300+ pounds. A 14 TEEN GIRL. Do you know how hard that is? Where I live -At my dads.- Is not a very suitable place for me to be living. Internet -I'm addicted to the computer.-. Cookies. Cheese. Milk. Chocolate. Everything I don't want to be eating! Yes, there's healthy food too, but I'm so weak willed. It's sad. I'm trying to become a vegetarian. Why? Meat makes me feel sick. The fact I'm eating slaughtered animals sickens me. Yet I eat it anyway. Why? I've grown up eating meat, not knowing what they go threw to kill and grew the animals. The condition they live in. It's just my option, please don't try to talk me out of it. I know what I need for Protein. Nuts. Eggs. Beans. Dairy. I get it.
Now your wondering in the back of your mind, where's my mum? She's around. With her Fiance. And new baby. And Pregnant. Bleh. I go there every weekend and Wednesday. I like being there because they don't allow snacking. Planned meals. Active. Flat property to work with. -One of my main problems is I don't get near enough exercise.- I don't like being there because I feel like a burden. Unwanted. Dismembered from that side of the family. Plus my school is far away from where they live, and they have a unstable car and never enough gas.
ANYWAY. Some of my problems? Sever Depression. Bi-Polar. ADHD. Narcolepsy. Loyalty issues. Confidence problems. All the fun stuff. Plus I have horrible sleeping habits. I'm writing this at 12:37am. Depression is my main problem. Problems at home. How I look and feel. Social life. Money problems.
-Quick thing now I remember it, my dad also has sever depression and Dimentiua. This is why it's hard being here. He doesn't know what to do with himself let alone me or my brother.-
I know what I want. How to get there. Now all I need is a place to start. My mums? Ask to move to my grandparents for a while? Close family friends? I don't know! I feel if I throw all the bad stuff out, my dad will only become sadder, more depressed.
Life Litteraly sucks for me, though I hate complaining, I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm looking for any advise. ANY.
And no, I don't take pills for my problems.
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Old 02-10-2012, 11:00 AM   #2
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My first piece of advice to you would be to shut off the screen and find an activity, any activity, that you enjoy and can afford money and time wise. I wish that I'd known at your age that I love to walk, just around town, nothing fancy, I just put my headphones on and go. I also love to dance, nobody would ever pay to watch me dance, but that does not stop me from really getting in to it. There are a ton of different things you can do, ride your bike, go for a walk, clean house, swim, etc etc etc. All of it is better than sitting in front of a computer monitor or television like a lump. Focus on doing something active for at least an hour/day, and if you have to start small focus on getting in exercise in 5 and 10 minute increments and make them a little longer every day until you reach an hour. I also think you will find that over time exercising can go a long way toward fending off depression. I have a couple of friends with clinical depression, and part of their treatment is an exercise program.

The other thing you need to do is to log your intake. Once you see which foods are really hurting you, it's a lot easier to change your habits, but don't expect a miracle overnight. It takes time to change bad habits. Oh and speaking of bad habits, if you want to fix your sleep pattern, start by getting up early for several days in a row and make sure to get your exercise in. Believe me you should be falling into bed asleep by 9:00-10:00pm every night in a matter of days. You also may need to alter your diet in order to sleep better, lowering your sugar intake may help, also if you drink a lot of soda you may need to quit that as most carbonated beverages contain caffeine, just drink water instead. And speaking from personal experience I sleep better if my intake for the day is less than 1,800 calories, too much over that and I have indigestion which keeps me awake.

On spending time with your mom, I have been in her position, pregnant with a babe in arms. And do you know what I wished for most? A teenage daughter to help me. So instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, put some energy in to helping your mom. Believe me when you have a baby, there is always plenty of work to do, and when you're pregnant you're too exhausted to get it all done. She will be grateful, you will be moving and your relationship with mom will be stronger than ever.
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Last edited by almeeker; 02-10-2012 at 11:08 AM.
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Old 02-10-2012, 11:57 AM   #3
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Your post really touched me. I am so glad that you put it out there.

There are very small ways to get started towards your bigger picture and happier life. Amy listed a lot of them. Take a small walk, drink water instead of soda, if there is something healthy to eat choose that over the chips, chocolate & candy. Get some alone time and instead of being online, stand up and do some stretches. Try to reach your toes. Start out slow and build up the amount of time spent over weeks, months, years. I might not be 14 but just over a year ago I weighed 321lbs. I started walking 15 mins a day and built up from there. You can do that too! You would be surprised how just being outside taking a walk can brighten your mood too. And once you start making changes, more changes will come and more easily too. You won't want to ruin what you just earned.

I think that when you visit at your mom's, like Amy said, you could try to be more involved instead of sitting on the sidelines watching them have their life. I don't know how old the baby is but you could offer to feed her (or him), change her, play with her. I am so sure that your mom will appreciate the time to be able to take a bath or fold a load of laundry without worrying what the baby is doing. About where you should live? I can't help with that one. You will have to figure out what is the best place for you. Is your mom's not in your school district? Would you have to switch schools to live with her? I ask because you seem to be leaning towards wanting that in your one sentence.

Best wishes to ya and please feel free to come back and post whatever you want. This is a great place to vent and get advice. Not always the advice we want to hear, but it is good advice none the less.
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Old 02-10-2012, 12:17 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaiiBear View Post
Life Litteraly sucks for me, though I hate complaining, I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm looking for any advise. ANY.
And no, I don't take pills for my problems.
Did you join FitDay to track your foods?

What steps have you taken to lose weight?

Are you planning on using the Forum for support?

Have you read any of the tips readily available on this site for losing weight?

Do you plan on returning to follow up with your post?

One thing you should feel good about, you write way beyond your years of 14.
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Old 02-10-2012, 08:47 PM   #5
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Hi Saii. Welcome to FitDay and the forums. Asking for any and all advice is kind of broad...is there anything specific we can help with?

You have quite a list of medical/emotional diagnoses and I think your comment about not taking pills was interesting. As a mental health professional, I can say that sometimes meds are necessary just to give you a little boost, willpower, and energy to make other changes on your own. Have you worked with a therapist to help you through what appears to be a pretty significant amount of stress? Sounds like you need someone in your corner!
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Old 02-11-2012, 12:17 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VitoVino View Post
Did you join FitDay to track your foods?

What steps have you taken to lose weight?

Are you planning on using the Forum for support?

Have you read any of the tips readily available on this site for losing weight?

Do you plan on returning to follow up with your post?

One thing you should feel good about, you write way beyond your years of 14.
Like I said, I know what I have to do. I have notes. I have a special books fulls of information. Steps I've taken? Probably just cutting back my snacking. I use to mindlessly eat, know I hardly snack in between meals.
I am, I really need support. My dad, as much as I know he loves me and mentally supports me, he doesn't seem able to stop buying what's wrong for us.
And no I haven't, other then what I know. I've taken to replacing soda and juice with Green tea and a spoonful of pure honey. It's very nice.
And thank you, I'm actually attempting to write a novel [Very hard with ADHD.] And sadly, the writing is one of the reasons I'm on the computer so much.
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Old 02-11-2012, 12:20 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by cjohnson728 View Post
Hi Saii. Welcome to FitDay and the forums. Asking for any and all advice is kind of broad...is there anything specific we can help with?

You have quite a list of medical/emotional diagnoses and I think your comment about not taking pills was interesting. As a mental health professional, I can say that sometimes meds are necessary just to give you a little boost, willpower, and energy to make other changes on your own. Have you worked with a therapist to help you through what appears to be a pretty significant amount of stress? Sounds like you need someone in your corner!
Something that might surprise you? I have a whole team of mental health workers working with me. I don't take pills because, as stupid as it sounds, make me more depressed. My ADHD is kind of hard to treat because the medication spikes my blood pressure [Rare, but it happens.] So there are reasons I don't take pills. They have a worse effect the a positive effect.
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Old 02-11-2012, 12:21 AM   #8
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Glad you came back, Saii. As you might understand, it can get very cumbersome to continually provide tips and advice to every new member, so we have the FitDay's "Best of" Series with our top pieces of advice and most informative threads. Take a look through those and if you have a question that's not answered, we'd be more than happy to help, and we're always here for support.
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Old 02-11-2012, 01:16 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaiiBear View Post
Something that might surprise you? I have a whole team of mental health workers working with me. I don't take pills because, as stupid as it sounds, make me more depressed. My ADHD is kind of hard to treat because the medication spikes my blood pressure [Rare, but it happens.] So there are reasons I don't take pills. They have a worse effect the a positive effect.
What ADD medication did you try? I'm on adderall and have never seen a spike in blood pressure, nor is it one of the listed side effects (that I know of).
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Old 02-11-2012, 01:38 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by cjohnson728 View Post
Glad you came back, Saii. As you might understand, it can get very cumbersome to continually provide tips and advice to every new member, so we have the FitDay's "Best of" Series with our top pieces of advice and most informative threads. Take a look through those and if you have a question that's not answered, we'd be more than happy to help, and we're always here for support.
I echo the same sentiments. So it's support you need, check out our FAQ's thread to get acquainted with everything and then join in with the ladies forum.
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