The First Five Pounds...
 

...are the hardest, most evil, challenging, frustrating, stressful pounds ever for me!!!

oh.

Hello, I'm new. My name is Chyna. My story is quite simple and just like some other folks here.

I was a "chubby" kid growing up. Or at least I felt that way. I was a dancer from the ages 3-13 and I can say for sure ballet gave me big insecurities.

All that aside, I maintained a weight of 154lb until I moved in with a future ex-boyfriend where I gained 30lb. After our stressful relationship and breakup, I went from 185 to 159 in TWO months. It was like my body began regulating itself(and I was working out hardcore and eating right).

Now, I'm here again, at my fattest. 195lb. I once again have a serious relationship(is there a connection?) and I feel STUCK.

The best part of all this? I work at Whole Foods, a "healthy eating" grocery store which I think is one of the reasons I've gained so much.

I have a gym membership and a treadmill, but whenever I go to the gym it feels like everyone is staring at me.

I think I just need this place. A support team. Because if I don't stop, right this moment, things will only get worse. :(

I want a new lifestyle!

Chyna

Oh, and, I'm 5'10, 193lb. I would like to lose 43lb by at most May 15th.

Chyna, welcome to the forums. It sounds like you have a lot of advantages--good food availability, gym, clothes hanger (oops---I mean treadmill ;)) and a great attitude.

Figure out your daily calorie burn and pick a calorie level that gives you a good deficiet but keeps you full enough that you won't be as tempted to "cheat" or give up.

Weigh/measure everything, at least for a while to get your portions under control, get rid of any junk in the house, drink lots of water and get on that tread mill.

Success is guaranteed!

Regards,
Michael

I agree with Michael, but I feel like a cheat is good maybe once a week, maybe that's because I'm a carboholic.

Few things...
What's with May 15th?
There may be a connection with relationships. You may have to look into that honestly. Are you getting comfortable and just eating more or is it something else?
As far as people staring at you at the gym... I think it's normal to feel like that at first. That's just something you'll have to get over. Once you're there and get to know people you'll realize that they were never staring, they are too involved in what they are doing. Oh and the ones that are being stared at, are probably wanting the attention.