Reflecting on the Change and the backslide
11-25-2022, 11:19 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Reflecting on the Change and the backslide
It may have been a quote but my dad always used to say "Human beings can get used to everything but change". He'd say it any time things changed to remind me that the moment of change is always difficult, even positive change -it's unknown territory. It's hard the learning curve can be steep and even unforgiving, but in the turn of a couple weeks, maybe a month it's as if it never changed and given the choice even far in the future people are more likely to revert than keep their path.
I couldn't tell you if it's a thing of nostalgia or habit or what it might be but I never thought I would have been at this weight again after hitting my ideal weight. Hearing my dad's voice in my ear all these years later has been making me think. I put down the bike though I miss it. I stopped my walks though I often hold my tot and sigh dramatically at the road that misses me. And I even started drinking colas that I'd entirely lost the taste for just so I wouldn't have to throw away the one nanna gave the kid. The other week while visiting nanna I even opened one for myself then drank 3 more to wash out the after taste until I could get my hands on coffee. (Oddly tap water in mom's town gives me heart burn and makes me vomit by the 3rd glass.)
The laziness is staggering when you consider I have to go out of my way to revert to my nearly 200 lb life. I have to spend more, store more, cook and clean more. I even lose hours in the week to being demotivated and finding excuses not to keep active. 'I'm tired/sleepy', 'I don't feel like arguing with the kid', 'I should be cleaning' and you know what? I don't clean. I bathe less. I avoid friends and family. I haven't vaccumed in 3 weeks and I haven't felt hungry in two months.
My house is reflecting the discomfort I'm feeling. In not caring for my body I'm chosing not to take care of my home, as if some part of me is punishing the other.
In another life I would walk, regardless of the weather and how I felt. My godparents would encourage me to take a break ask me why I kept pushing until I finally confessed: "If I ever stop, I won't start again." I knew then, years ago but when I ended up pregnant I had a perfect excuse. in 5 month I regained everything I'd lost in a year and had maintained off for 5. I've never reached pre baby weight since.
Peers, if you made it this far, what was your backslide? How long did it take you to to regain?
I couldn't tell you if it's a thing of nostalgia or habit or what it might be but I never thought I would have been at this weight again after hitting my ideal weight. Hearing my dad's voice in my ear all these years later has been making me think. I put down the bike though I miss it. I stopped my walks though I often hold my tot and sigh dramatically at the road that misses me. And I even started drinking colas that I'd entirely lost the taste for just so I wouldn't have to throw away the one nanna gave the kid. The other week while visiting nanna I even opened one for myself then drank 3 more to wash out the after taste until I could get my hands on coffee. (Oddly tap water in mom's town gives me heart burn and makes me vomit by the 3rd glass.)
The laziness is staggering when you consider I have to go out of my way to revert to my nearly 200 lb life. I have to spend more, store more, cook and clean more. I even lose hours in the week to being demotivated and finding excuses not to keep active. 'I'm tired/sleepy', 'I don't feel like arguing with the kid', 'I should be cleaning' and you know what? I don't clean. I bathe less. I avoid friends and family. I haven't vaccumed in 3 weeks and I haven't felt hungry in two months.
My house is reflecting the discomfort I'm feeling. In not caring for my body I'm chosing not to take care of my home, as if some part of me is punishing the other.
In another life I would walk, regardless of the weather and how I felt. My godparents would encourage me to take a break ask me why I kept pushing until I finally confessed: "If I ever stop, I won't start again." I knew then, years ago but when I ended up pregnant I had a perfect excuse. in 5 month I regained everything I'd lost in a year and had maintained off for 5. I've never reached pre baby weight since.
Peers, if you made it this far, what was your backslide? How long did it take you to to regain?
