I have subhuman strength and it's not improving
 

I'm a 19 year old man, my little sister is 11 and I'm getting insecure about her being stronger. I'm recovering from anorexia and am 5'11 101 lbs, my sister is 4'11 93 lbs.

We were playing football (soccer) in the garden when she randomly dragged me to the ground. She pinned me and started putting dirt in my mouth, also slapping my face a lot and covering my mouth/nose with her hands until I was dizzy. It went on for about 20 minutes before she got bored and let go.

As she was walking away, I threw the football at the back of her head (I was angry, immature I know) and she fell over. She started fighting me for real, she wrapped her thighs around my neck and squeezed. I submitted but she wouldn't let go and I actually passed out. Apparently I was spasming when she let go.

I'm feeling really insecure about my strength since, I can't do a squat (without weights) I get all the way down but have to use my arms to help me up. And my sister goes to the gym with our dad because she's pretty serious about dancing and football, I hear she does 55kg squats.

Is she stronger than me? If you look at our pics below, I think I look stronger so I don't understand. She's just a scrawny kid, I feel like my age/gender/height should give me a strength advantage? I know I'm recovering from anorexia, but does it really effect strength that much? I'm putting genuine effort into improving myself.

Her: https://imgur.com/a/HPVza
Me: (tensing) https://imgur.com/a/ZbQxf
Me: (tensing) https://imgur.com/a/zCd5N

If you are recovering from anorexia, you were likely talking to a therapist. Continue that, and talk to your parents about the rough play coming from your sister.

I had a younger brother who threw punches and got very aggressive with me when I was alone with him. It was no fun. You can work on building your strength in a gym or just using youtube videos at home - that's the easy part. An adult (therapist or parent) should know what's going on, though, because it's not a healthy dynamic to be fighting like that. I did go to an adult about the aggression and it did stop!

I'd feel a little stupid having to go to my parents to sort out my problems, especially something embarrassing like this.

I've joined a gym, I have to use the machines because I can't do freeweight. I think I'm making progress, although can't be sure lol.

I was a bit embarrassed bringing it up with my parents - but it did stop the aggression. That is what was important to me! My brother was using me like a punching bag - and I was fighting back but it wasn't enough. If I 'won' a skirmish, it only meant I was willing to play the game.

Going to the gym, you can improve your strength. Add some martial arts classes to that, maybe?

Keep going at it, bro. Do you think you are holding back for what ever reason? It might even be a subconscious decision.

If there are some TRX bands or something like that at your gym, you can use them to do squats. Hang on to the TRX bands and just rep out bodyweight squats to get stronger. It doesn't matter if you need assistance doing the squats, just as long as you are doing something to get stronger. And hopefully you can eat a bit more to put on some more weight. I won't touch on that too much because I know it is probably a touchy subject but you won't be able to really get much stronger or put on much muscle unless you are able to eat more. Do what you can, work your butt off and good luck!