rainbow24

I just need to vent.

1.5 miles today on the farm. I know it's not at the pace I would normally walk, but there is a certain rhythm to the work. Walk fast for 30 feet, walk slow, reaching to the left, for 17 feet. Repeat 30 times. Then start at the beginning.

Here's the vent. My mom phoned last night. She is walking. I take that back, she strolls. She never has been a fast walker and when I go out with her I have to seriously slow my pace. That was before I increased my speed. She outright told me that my walking on the farm doesn't count because it isn't really walking.
Try slogging through the weather, whatever it may be, on uneven ground, in work boots.

Thanks for listening.

BTW, today was the first day, so a little slow.

paisleyjane

I have worked on a farm, and yes - that counts!!
Even slow harvest work is still a lot of movement!
Silly woman, yer mum is :P


I had a very, very off-plan dinner. I have to remember that when I'm exhausted, hungry, and grumpy - the answer is NOT to go out for dinner. I don't know why I do it. I wonder if there is a pattern -- is it always mid work week? Is it always when I don't have enough to snack on in the afternoon? What is it that when I get too tired, too hungry, and generally grumpy that puts me on the path of poor choices and over-eating.

I tracked it, but really, it was a bit overboard. I finished the food on my plate even when I was full, even when I was stuffed. Boo

I am going to bed early tonight and trying over tomorrow. I told the students I would bring them treats (they are volunteering in my classroom at lunch for project stuff) so I bought a few things. I won't be eating them though - if the treats aren't all gone by the end of the lunch break, I will send them off with the kids - or put them on the staff room table.

I am getting kind of annoyed at the glitch in Fitday. At first it was funny, but now I'm irritated that I can't actually use the program properly. I like to use my calorie balance reports and check how many cals I have left for the day, etc, but because it says I am 530 lbs, none of the stats are accurate. I wrote the support people, I really hope it gets fixed soon

AZLisaLou

I have accepted the fact that my life will always be an emotional roller coaster, partly because of "life" and a lot to do with the fact that I suffer from bipolar disorder. I don't think I will ever be "normal", whatever that is. This craziness is my normal. I have to accept the fact I cannot continue to turn to food to comfort myself. I'm ready for change. I've had enough. I'm a big, fat, disgusting blob and only I can change that. I'm getting close to my highest weight, if I haven't got there already (too afraid to get on the scale). I get winded at the littlest amount of movement, and that's not ok. My weight prohibits me from doing things I would love to do, and that's not ok.

I found out that my Medicare Part B won't start until April so any kind of therapy is still a month away.

I'm ready for change. I don't know how much or how fast I'll be able to make the right changes, but I know Debbie has posted motivational things in the past that small changes are still changes. I need to move forward in a positive direction once and for all.

Time to face the music and get on the scale. Thank you all for being supportive.

AZLisaLou

Annette, it absolutely DOES count! You keep up with what you know is good for you and filter out all the negativity.

Epi, Thank you for the info on minneola and tangelos. I will double check with my dr that it will be ok, but I'm looking forward to trying it! As for sparkling water, I know it's expensive, probably more so than the $1 I pay for a 2 liter of soda. But I may be wrong and I will double check this weekend when I go in.

rainbow24

I have lived with all this negativity for all my life. I am still amazed that my mom used to send me to a TOPS group when I was fourteen and still hot.

I was unimpressed with TOPS. Still am. Not that I have taken part in it, but I still hear from my mother on how she does in the group. It always feels like they shame their members for gaining a pound.

Speaking of which, I gained back that pound and saw it another two pounds. At least I know the cause. I ate sandwich meat yesterday. Sodium count through the roof.

lildebbieg

Hold up! If getting on the scale and seeing the numbers is going to discourage you...then don't do it! Why not make a plan for yourself and stick to it for a few weeks before attempting the scale? If you think seeing the numbers will motivate you, then go for it!

The reason I post this is because I go from being motivated by the numbers to being completely discouraged by the numbers. Right now, I'm discouraged. I should take my own advice and make a plan and stick to it for a given time before I hit the scale again!

episode2011

Annette: I agree with you, Roxy and Lisa. It would seem to me that farm work would count not only as walking but strength training as well. Maybe what your Mom was indicating was that slow-walking is not typically considered a "cardio" workout (raising the heartbeat), but if you're lifting AND walking on uneven ground while wearing x-pounds of gear and equipment, I'd contend it DOES raise your heartbeat! Maybe she was just grumpy that, even with slow-walking, you're faster than she is .

I'm surprised to hear TOPS is still around. If they do shame folks with a gain, that would definitely not be a place for me. My weight fluctuates far too wildly for that to be a productive environment. I'd be constantly crabby! With regard to the sandwich meat, I assume that's the same as luncheon meat or deli-counter meat? If so, you're probably right -- the sodium did a "gotcha" on you.

Roxy: It would be interesting to see if you can discern a pattern. I'd imagine that would be very helpful for you. With regard to the Fitday glitch, I can see where it would be high annoying. I saw your post in Feedback. You got an answer from a tech, which is good news. At least they're aware of the issue.

Lisa: I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with bipolar. I live with a family member who deals with depression and anxiety, and have done some research on bipolar, among other things. With regard to the weight, I think you're 100% right that it's connected. As far as the statement "I'm a big, fat, disgusting blob...", that sounds like the bipolar talking. From what I've read of your posts, you seem to be a kind, caring, generous-of-spirit sort of person. Hang in there. We're here for you (((hugs))).

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++

My Goals for the Week (March 2 - March 8):

• Calorie Cycling -- have at least 1 High day: A (A for Average -- I'm going to start using "Average" and "High", rather than Low and High), A, A
• Minimum 1500mL water/tea per day: 2445, 2445, 2917 (extra 2 cups of tea)
• 7-day Rolling Average calories = 1200-1300: 1155, 1156, 1150
• Explore! Try something new or learn something new (nutrition-wise) at least 2 times: Y, Y, N

Explore! details: Monday, tried a Minneola. Tuesday, read an interesting article on the difference between dietitians and nutritionists. Apparently there's some bad blood between the two (oooo juicy! )

Hey, I just noticed that my Water/tea goal was listed as 1500G per day -- how come no one called me on that! Be it Gallons or even Glasses, that's still a LOT of water! I've changed it to 1500mL of water. Much more realistic .

rosabella2012

Lisa: I understand very well your angst! But you are so much more than a number on any scale! Please, never forget that! I go to Addiction Recovery meetings through my church and they really help--they're based an the 12 steps of AA. Overeaters' Anonymous has many online helps--they even have phone and online meetings too. I've been in 12 step recovery for many years and I've benefited in many ways.

Annette: Farm work is HARD--If it don't count, I don't know what does! I went to counseling many times just to deal with the issues surrounding my mother and her treatment of my perceived weight issues. I still have the waist whittler I had to wear when I was a young teen and only wore a size 9 junior! At 115 pounds and 5 ft 2, I don't think I was overweight but she sure did! Went to TOPS and WW myself--all before I was 18--neither worked long-term for me.

Debbie: I'm weighing more often now than I usually do with the Easter Challenge, but I'm also trying to learn not to attach my worth as a person to the number on the scale. If I'm not in a good place emotionally, I can really get down on myself all because of a number. I have to remember I'm a work in progress and on my way to better health and that includes so much more than just a decreasing number on a scale!

I lost 2#s this week--yeah, I weighed early 'cause if the weather breaks, we plan on making a trip to see my sister, a few friends, and to attend the funeral of my very first childhood friend who passed away this week from a hereditary heart problem. Planning to take snacks from my food plan with me! Vicki

AZLisaLou

Debbie, Oh, don't worry! The number is discouraging, but I need to know where I'm starting from so I can see where I go. It's ok. I got on the scale last night, and actually I wasn't even that upset. I knew it was going to be high and I accepted that. For you...you've been working so hard and I can see how the numbers not moving fast enough can be discouraging. I think you should remember that the lower your weight is the slower it is to come off. If the scale is discouraging you, then you should definitely not use it. Use other measurements of success like your clothes fitting better or being able to exercise longer. Those are excellent measurements of success, and people tend to overlook them a lot.

Epi, thank you for the kind words. I appreciate the understanding. It is a very difficult thing to live with, for both me and for my family. Luckily I don't go stark raving mad anymore. lol. I have lots of meds now. But, yes, I've always tended to emotionally eat and the craziness of bipolar doesn't help that, so this is just an obstacle I have to learn to deal with and overcome.

Vicki, I did look into OA meetings in my area recently. I'm afraid to go. My anxiety rises just thinking about it. i don't do well in social settings. Maybe I should do more looking in to online meetings. That would feel a little safer. Thanks for the reminder of a potentially good resource. Excellent job on the 2 lbs!!!

Annette, what is TOPS? Doesn't sound like a good thing to me if they shame people.

I had a little victory today. I was tempted to go to the McD's drive thru with Matthew after school today. I reminded myself that when I did the grocery this past weekend I stocked up on after school food so we can skip the drive thru. I successfully resisted. I came home and had a delicious, cold, refreshing Atkins w/ milk. Honestly, they are so good I don't know why I stop sometimes. Feeling satisfied and like I can make it til dinner.

episode2011

Take Off Pounds Sensibly. They've been around at least since the late 40s. From what I understand, they're in the same vein as Weight Watchers and Overeaters Anonymous -- based on 12-step principles. You go to meetings, but I don't know much else about them. They seem to be very reasonably priced (according to their website, $32USA dollars per year, $36 Canadian) plus chapter dues (about $5/month). Looks like they have an online component, too, in case you can't physically go to meetings.

Let's see that line again -- I SUCCESSFULLY RESISTED. Fantastic!