Having muscles is one thing, being bulky quite another. Women tend to get dense, hard, (IMO sexy) muscles, while men are more likely to look like the hulk. Plus, the time scale of these things can be quite ridiculous. I've been lifting weights (mostly for strength purposes, but I wouldn't mind some extra definition) for almost two years consistently, but aside from slimming down and getting a bit leaner I don't look all that different.
Just because you're doing all the right things that would make a man explode, doesn't mean that you're going to. Worst case, you'll just become "shapely."
P.S. Might I add that training for strength and training for size are two different things too. I could probably train for size and become all inflated but that's not why I lift weights. Bodybuilders that lift for size lift both moderately heavy as well as high volume (i.e., lots of reps/sets). Strength lifters, on the other hand, only lift for 5-8 reps or less and don't try to work to exhaustion. End result is lots of fat burned, very strong muscles, but not oversized ones.