I was a size 6 when I got married in 1999. I was a size 26 when I got my divorce in 2009.
My ex was very abusive to me. He had a knack at making me feel guilty at the most stupidest things. When we got married I really did love him a lot but then he started going down a path that I refused to go with him.
While he was never physically abusive, he made up for it with verbal abuse. When you hear for years how worthless you are, you start to believe it.
I had enough. I dropped him and went back to post graduate school where i am getting an M.Div/Ph.D in world religions.
I know its not much right now, but Im down to a size 20 dress size since May 2011 from a size 26. Ive been working out and I am determine to at least get back into a size 10.
I need a man or woman who will treat me with the respect that I have. So I have learned a thing or two LOL
You may have thought you were naive in posing the question, but in reality it is a very insightful post, wowgirl. And I think it's extremely important to get people thinking about it. You can't fix something unless you know what's broken, right? Sure, counting calories works, exercise works, but unless you get at what's underneath (in a lot of cases) the old habits come back. So I am thankful to you for prodding folks to think about it, and also appreciative of everyone's honesty here.
For me, I was always a chunky kid, teen, and young adult. I feel this was due to bad habits and not knowing any better. My house was the one full of junk food...all my friends always wanted to come over. That has to do with my mom's issues, which aren't mine to share, but I really never had a good role model for eating well. Mom always made home cooked meals, but it was meat, potatoes, more potatoes, and the veggie was usually corn. I got thin for about a year with effort in high school, then put it right back on in college, again, I guess, due to carelessness. Throughout grad school, again, no time, no money, and lots of stress, so I never really cared about how or what I ate, and there was never time for exercise, in my mind.
After grad school, things changed in a hurry. I defended my dissertation, bought a house, and found out I was pregnant within 24 hours. I was working, studying for the licensing exam, and thus began a cycle of putting everyone else's needs before mine. That pattern continued, with varying weights and levels of stress, until last year. It was so easy to get lost myself while meeting everyone else's needs. After a cavalcade of emotional and situational stress, I eventually realized that no one was going to take care of me but me, and my son was a teen and more self-sufficient, which left me more time to do that. So I did. I don't want to turn back now, so I need to remember where I've been.
And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.
I gained weight because I LOVE FOOD! I love making it, cooking it, sharing it... you name it. I come from a family with a long, professional, culinary background dating back to 1920. Most of my friends are culinary trained; professional chefs, pastry chefs, caterers, restaurant owners... you get the picture. My mother made 3 home-cooked meals a day; a huge breakfast, lunch and dinner complete with homemade pies, cakes and every high calorie, delicious thing you can think of. We celebrated with food, shared heartache with food, gave gifts of food, etc., etc.
When I became a full-time mom 15 years ago, I thought that meant feeding my family to death with the same high calorie foods that I had grown up with. Being a nurturer, I fed EVERYONE... friends, family, stray kids and animals, lonely elderly people, you name it. If they were hungry, I fed them.
Combine that with a culinary background and a desire to perfect my craft and try to cook everything at least once, and the pounds started to add up. Luckily, I never was more than 40 pounds overweight because I was a constant yo-yo dieter. Each year, I'd gain 20-30 pounds and then take it off every year starting in January. I got so tired of this yearly cycle that 2 years ago, I decided to make a permanent lifestyle change and joined Fitday. I now have maintained a healthy BMI of 19-20 for a year and a half with no major slips and I can truly say that I can't picture myself eating like I used to ever again.
My only problem now has to do with my fellow chefs who feel as though I have abandoned my craft, which isn't true... I've just made it a whole lot healthier. But, in the food world, low-cal usually means no-fun. My inbox is still full of recipes that they want me to try or things that they want me to sample for their restaurants before they hit the menu. I still struggle with this because eating just a sample and leaving the rest on the plate is a huge insult to a chef... a rejection of sorts. But, they're getting used to it. (...and they may be getting used to the new thinner me... I hope.)
Reached 30 lb. Weight Loss Goal April, 2010
Fighting The Battle to Maintain
I love your background, Quinn. Virtually the exact opposite to mine.
When my sister and I were young, my mum was a stay at home mum, but when her relationship to my father started getting rocky, she got jobs here and there, and while she still cooked, I don't remember it being a highlight.
Go back two months for me, and I hated food. I still think it's disgusting, the entire process of eating, and I have to force myself to do it. Part of me thinks it's because I think I'm disgusting, so anything that may make me bigger just turns me off totaly. I am getting better, but I can never see the day where I actualy love food. Right now for me it's just one of those things you have to do to live, and on bad days, something to make myself feel worse about myself, if that makes sense.
Also, you're not abandoning the craft, you're expanding it, growing your range of expertise to also cater to those that are either getting fit, or maintain it.
And thanks, Cassie, for a minute there I thought I'd made a mistake in asking the question.
Thanks, Wowgirl for the kind words. It's all a huge learning process, one day at a time isn't it? Another hard aspect for me is that I've always cooked to relax and reduce stress when my life gets hectic. So, in addition to changing what I eat, I've had to learn new ways to cope with stress as well.
I've really enjoyed reading about everyone's journey. Thanks for posting the question and to all who have replied!
Reached 30 lb. Weight Loss Goal April, 2010
Fighting The Battle to Maintain
Not too touchy. It made me think back to realize when it really all began for myself. I enjoyed reading others stories as well. I think it makes us closer as a group if we know where each other come from.
Quinn...I know what you mean about being in the culinary field and the constant eating & testing new things. I work for the second largest foodservice distributor in America. I run the office where customers pick up their orders that can't wait for a truck to deliver them. They are constantly dropping off things to taste & try. Also I sit next to a huge warehouse filled with every imaginable food & ingredient that you can think of. And we have a test kitchen who is constantly (2-3 times a week) cooking up full menus to display to customers and then putting the leftovers out for the employees to eat. Ugghhh! At least the kitchen is in a different building now that I moved to this office.
__________________ April - 35yr 5'10" mom of two teen boys
I guess I was always a bit chubby, I wouldn't say overweight though. Most of my weight gain happened from when I was about 10 years old. My grandfather started molesting me and that went on for about a year maybe a little less...I kind of blocked a little bit of it out. By grade 7 I was 150 lbs. In the summer before grade 8 my dad got a transfer to a different town. So there I was doing great in school, I was in french immersion and loved it and I get uprooted once again! Within a year or so I gained 80 lbs putting me at 230 by the end of grade 8. Ever since then I have yoyo dieted, always ending back up at 230, and I'm only 5'3. Back in the end of March of this year I found out my grandparents were coming to visit my parents and with me now having an 18 month old they wanted to meet him. I finally got the courage to tell my parents what my grandfather did to me and that I did not want my son around him. I have never dealt with the emotional part of being molested before, so needless to say I was going into emotional overload to the point of having multiple melt downs a day which was causing me to go home early from work. I ended up going to the doctor who put me on antidepressants and told me I need to take 8 weeks off of work and start going to therapy.
Well I have been back to work since June 14, am down 28lbs and emotionally stable. I am happy and continuing to work on losing weight!
I was actually very skinny in High School and mostly through College. Then I took a part time job at Red's Donut And Bakery Shop when I was a sophmore in College. I started eating a lot of donuts and pastries. Each night, the donuts that were left over were given to the employees who were closing. So, I took bunches of them home and ate and ate. I think this was the start of my weight gain.
Over the years, I have gained and lost weight over and over. Then, I hurt my lower back and it slowed down my activity level and the weight continued to add. Now I am very obese and am trying to make a huge effort to lose it. I know it will take time and it will be a very difficult thing for me to do.
So, there it is. I hope everyone is having success today!
I was extremely depressed in 6th and 7th grades and started gaining weight then. A lot of my weight gain since was also emotional-related eating. Eating food that tastes good, is satisfying, etc. felt like caring for myself, like doing something nice for myself and treating myself well when others haven't always done so. The bad thing is that this isn't really the case, it's actually harmful to myself to do that. So I'm trying to care for myself and be nice to myself by eating healthier, lower calorie foods now and doing my best to get healthier.