Again in the Land of Chocolate and Cheese
So I don't really know how to begin this first post of my new diary... I have done a first post of a new diary about three times since my last, successful diary, and each time I've had to stop and never followed through - after less than a week. I was incredibly motivated at the time, and it seems I am always incredibly motivated in the evening, when the food guilt hits me as I go to bed, saying that the next day will be different... but it never is. I have been using my little boy, who is now just over a year old, as an excuse to eat badly and to not have the time to write here. It is true that it is more difficult for me now, particularly because it means I'll be having to make a bunch of different meals, also because I am so exhausted physically and emotionally all of the time (I did not give birth to a baby who enjoys sleep in any sense of the word), but this is not a new problem to mankind, so I have to suck it up and get with the programme.
Here is my current state - I'm now around 89kg... fluctuating between 88.5 and 89.5, but oh my god I will not allow myself to reach 90. I was this weight lose before and after
I decided to get all healthy before my pregnancy, and I managed it then, getting down to 80.7 and feeling sOOOO fabulous! I am really tall, so a healthy BMI for me is 84.5. I currently have a major shoulder injury and am having a lot of girly reproductive issues that means that all my professional people are telling me to stop my exercise, which is really getting me down. I know this is the point where I can get depressed and sit on the couch, eat corn chips and cheese and biscuits and croissants and chocolate, and let myself not so slowly reach my pinacle weight of 106kg again. It would be easy, I would be unhappy and embarrassed and humiliated, and I'd continue to eat. I know this. OR I can instead use this as a time to focus all my energy on eating healthily, being smart, being a good example to my boy, and becoming happier in the process.
I want to do a crash diet
for the first week to get me out of my bad habits (eating huge amounts in front of the computer or TV for the 90 minutes that my boy sleeps during the day; eating too much cheese and butter; eating too much (I don't need anything!) after dinner), and while the 'crash diet' phrase has a lot of bad reputations, if I said 'detox', it'd be fine, right? So... let's just say that. This has worked well for me in the past, though I am scared to cut out everything I love... so I'm making my own rules.
My Own Rules
1. Cut out the following: Cheese, butter, white flour, sugar (except for regulation 3 below), alcohol.
2. Small potions of everything, except steamed veggies. I know that portion size is a big problem for me.
3. Only 70% or over dark chocolate (then I know I'll only want one square and will be satisfied), and only once a day.
4. No carbs with dinner.
Tactics I'm going to use:
1. Think like this: If I wouldn't want my boy to eat it (he gets only the best, most healthy food from me!), I won't eat it!
2. I've recently discovered and love quinoa. I'm going to use this to get myself feeling full.
3. Spend money to make things easy - buy the fresh pre-chopped veg ready for steaming, for example.
4. Try to up my meat and egg intake a little (though I don't like eating a lot of meat) to reduce my desire for cheese.
5. When my boy has his daily nap, instead of going straight to the fridge and getting food then sitting down on the couch, open the computer and write in here.
I've chatted to my man, and he's ready to lose 5kg or so himself and gets a full amaaaazing cooked lunch at work every day, so he is very happy to have a light, carb free dinner too. We will support each other!
Enough typing... Onwards and downwards!