I've been getting in shape, lost 20 pounds, feeling so much better about myself. I had one of those 'I feel cute today' kind of days, which hasn't happened in so long. A pair of pants I haven't worn in forever finally fit and I even got a compliment or two from co-workers.
All that being said, I have a problem with my libido taking a nosedive when I start to get into shape. I don't know if it's a concentration/effort issue...I'm just more concerned with getting to bed early so I can get a full night of sleep and then wake up early for a workout. Keeping the focus on getting healthy becomes my whole world. It even starts to make me irritable at things that I might have had no problem brushing off before. I'm just more intense, in general, as though I have to be in control and focused all the time or I'll wind up back at an unhealthy place.
But...I also know that the body is an incredible machine and big changes in diet and exercise really can alter chemical/hormonal balances in the body. So while I might be a total control freak, I think there's probably also some biochemical stuff going on that contributes to my lackluster enthusiasm for sex these days. This happen to anyone else? I don't know if I'm really looking for solutions...assuming it will resolve itself if I can just relax a little, but maybe a little comfort and support. I miss the fun, sexy me that loves her body and wants to be intimate.
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When I am working hard to exercise and watch what I eat and get enough sleep, I put myself under a lot of stress! Feeling stressed is the opposite of sexy. I try to meditate, or at least have an extra long stretch/cooldown session in the evening or after working out. This period where I force myself to relax and think about my real goals and focus has really helped me not get caught up in the sticky business.
So far the only thing that ever interferes with my libido is being really sick. lol. I'm a horndog. But I would guess that due to dieting and exercise your body may be saying "conserve resources!" and your body doesn't know that sex doesn't have to result in pregnancy. If your body thinks there is too little food to support a pregnancy, that may be why the libido shuts down.
This is interesting. Fat actually is the holder of testosterone, so losing fat often increases sex drive by releasing the hormone into your system. It may be, that now that food is not acting as a drug (producing dopamine and pleasure) you may be confronting negative emotions that had been neglected. Losing weight can also make one feel very vulnerable physically. That can really kill the sex drive.
I stopped taking antidepressants 2 months a go and since my sex drive has taken a serious dive - which sucks- and I assume it is because I am in a slightly darker place, and my brain does not feel up to having fun. But the body can be retrained. I would advise some talk therapy, if you can afford it.
It sounds like you work, you probably commute, you probably don't drink as much as you did before dieting (if you did), you exercise (that takes time), and you like getting your rest. Doesn't leave much time for that 'let's hang out' lifestyle where you take a lot of your clues from other people and spend your time according to whatever happens, mood-wise.
What you're doing is paying off big-time. You look better, you probably feel better. That is like having a second job. Unless you pay someone for tummy tucks and collagen to look better, you're doing what the rest of us try to do too - eat better and exercise your body.
If you were a J.K. Rowling or a Danielle Steele, you'd be coming home and sitting at your computer, typing away at something other people may or may not understand but what YOU needed to do and that took time away from other activities. I'm amazed those two aren't big as houses for all the sedentary work they did! I'd be surprised if they went off the track for any length of time and I'd be surprised if they didn't have relationships in which the other person respected their need to succeed.