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Old 12-22-2012, 01:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default So frustrated?!

Hi! First off I dont want to be on of those people who are constantly whining about themselves, but I really need so help right now. I used to be slightly overweight. I've lost 20 pounds so far, got to what I though was my ideal weight, and I'm proud of myself. But there's just one problem...I still look fat! Or chubby to put it nicer! But seriously, I feel like my shoulder belong on a boys, my waist is very thick width wise and my legs just look terrible! I have zero confidence, ad everywhere I go I feel so insecure and think that people are constantly judging me? This isn't just in my head tho, a look two or three times bigger than all my friends, but I have the ideal body weight?? Thanks for any advice, and is anyone out there feeling the samew ay?
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Old 12-27-2012, 08:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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If you have reached your ideal weight then you know you're healthy. Every body has a different shape and it sounds like yours is thick. There's nothing wrong with that, and it is not going to change. You can, of course, do some exercise to slim your waist, for instance. You can polish your body if you work hard, but you're not going to become petite, that's something you need to accept. Personally, I'm on the thick side (besides of being overweight) and MY ideal weight is far above the ideal weight I'm supposed to be, because my bones are far too big for me to carry a small size and still look good.
But don't worry, if you go to a gym you can ask one of the trainers there, or you can get a personal trainer, or even look up exercises on the internet, that might help you slim those specific areas you mentioned.
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Old 12-27-2012, 10:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Absentha View Post
If you have reached your ideal weight then you know you're healthy. Every body has a different shape and it sounds like yours is thick. There's nothing wrong with that, and it is not going to change. You can, of course, do some exercise to slim your waist, for instance. You can polish your body if you work hard, but you're not going to become petite, that's something you need to accept. Personally, I'm on the thick side (besides of being overweight) and MY ideal weight is far above the ideal weight I'm supposed to be, because my bones are far too big for me to carry a small size and still look good.
But don't worry, if you go to a gym you can ask one of the trainers there, or you can get a personal trainer, or even look up exercises on the internet, that might help you slim those specific areas you mentioned.
Completely agree with the point here.
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Old 12-31-2012, 02:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I agree with what was said above. I think we have a hard time accepting our bodies because many of us have been so ingrained with what the "real image" of beauty is--even though that image is totally unrealistic for most of us. I once hurt my back and had to have x-rays. I kid you not, the technician exclaimed something like "Oh, wow!" I thought he saw something terribly wrong like a broken tail bone...when I asked what was up he said. "Oh, no, it's just that I've never seen lower ribs so large before..." Great! I could lose all the weight I want but unless I am insane and remove my lower ribs, I'll never have that "trim" waist. Also, what I realize now is the importance of the kind of clothes we wear. I have many friends who are "heavy set" yet I think they look absolutely beautiful because they dress in ways that are flattering to their body type. (I'm more of a jeans and sweatshirt person myself). I recently went to a bridal shower of a friends daughter. This young woman by no means has a "skinny shape". She is larger framed and "full figured" yet she is stunningly beautiful because of the way she dresses and carries herself.
That all being said, I am back on this forum because I have been really bad these last few months and have also gained back much of the weight I had once lost. It's more than what the scale says, but rather, now my clothes fit me tight again and I'm getting flabby again. It's because I haven't eaten well and I stopped exercising. So I've reset my goals...essentially I'm starting over, close to where I was two years ago but I'm not overwhelmed yet. I know I did it before by doing a good job exercising and eating healthy. I just need to get motivated again by focusing on the lifestyle changes. Good Luck and try to stay positive.
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Start Date: December 31, 2012
Start Weight: 136

Weekly Weights:
136.0 (Dec 31, 2012)
135.0 (Jan 7, 2013)

Current Weight:134.0 (Jan 14, 2013)


Height:5'2"
Goal Weight: 110.0

Goal Date: Jun 22, 2013
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Old 02-12-2013, 02:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm gonna do the whole, "only you can judge yourself" shit. People judge, yes. People can influence you and pressure you into doing things, yes. But only if you know them.
What I mean is, the media has a lot of stuff to do with how every woman in america feels about the way they look.
Except super shut-in Omish folk I guess.
Try not to mistake the media with your social life. I got caught up in it and was freaking out for a good three years.
The media is a huge influence daily, but the truth is, it is not only fake, like photo shop erasing and painting, or people don't find it attractive. It is like an abstract art fad. It is amusing, but most men like a woman that looks like a woman, not a woman that looks like an anorexic minor with stilts surgically attached.
I honestly don't know if I have helped, just sharing my experience.

This guy reminds me of Keroro
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Old 02-12-2013, 02:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Is it possible that your friends just happen to share a certain body type? Such as: thin, narrow-hipped, narrow shoulders, etc.?

I always feel large, but then, I am large. If I am around larger people than myself, I suddenly feel thinner - like magic. But, then, you don't pick your friends by their size... just be aware of that effect.
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Old 02-13-2013, 02:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Gointto, I feel your pain...

I've been stuck 2 pounds from goal since end of October, and all the little tricks to fool my body to lose the final 2 doesnt seem to be helping me hit goal. Having to inject insulin hasnt made my journey any easier. BUT... I made a recent decision that the number is just a target, its not my end all, be all. I now have focused from being all about hitting an exact calorie number and scale number, to a more fitness approach. Working out specific body parts and stuff, to change areas in my body shape that I think workouts can help with. I will ALWAYS be a pear. I will always have big hips. I was a pear even when I was a younger, thinner me, and my thighs will always look like I am a speedskater, I cant change that. Look at any of my female relatives, we all look the same! But I can work at losing inches in my arms, and tighten up my calves and hopefully finally get rid of the flab around my stomach. That stuff is fat on me, but its not part of my body shape. And maybe, just maybe a few more pounds will come off in the process. Probably will. But I cant obsess about it any more, its counterproductive for me.

Its taken me 44 years to have this epifany. I've been on this latest journey for 14 months. I feel better now than I have since elementary school, despite not yet reaching my goal number. My highs have been high, and I've also struggled with some lows. But
at the end of the day, I am better than I was in November 2011. Better physically, mentally, spiritually. Some damn little metal scale is not going to define me anymore.

Acceptance is like a lifted burden for me. I hope in your journey you can soon find that too. We are all here to support you, because we all know how you feel.
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