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clbencemunns 10-29-2012 05:22 AM

What to do when skinny husband gets skinnier?
 
Sigh.....I was making so much progress! I lost 25# in the first couple of months, but I'm stalled. I've been very reasonable and it actually wasn't that difficult until I started feeling bad for my family. My husband is 6ft 3in, and has always been thin (around 180-185). I have 2 daughters, the eldest of which is already 5ft 2in and just turned 11. My husband and both my daughters play basketball and practice 2-3 times a week (and they burn the calories!). They're all very thin, and don't have to waste a brain cell thinking about what they can or can't eat.

So, on this journey, I switched everything in the house to low or non-fat, and we really started eating the fruits and veggies rather than snacks and pasta for dinner. My entire family is on board with me losing weight, and everyone has been gladly learning more about eating healthy. We've talked about how even though they're all skinny and can eat whatever they want, that they should still eat healthy. We've been shopping, cooking, and discussing these things together, with everyone all in.

Last month, my husband guiltily told me he'd dropped to 168 pounds.....at 6ft 3in! And my daughters are seriously at that age where they are growing, growing, growing (Up!). Husband's BMI is in the normal range, but he's too skinny for my tastes. Both daughters are right at about 18-19bmi, so I can't have them getting any skinnier. So, I bought them regular milk, gave them back their favorite breakfast cereals, started buying them boxed snacks again, etc, etc. I am not kidding when I say my 11 year old daughter is often eating more calories than I am.

My husband still hasn't gained any of his weight back, and now I've been totally stalled since that stuff came back into the house. I find myself feeling guilty and cooking more pasta and cheesy casseroles for dinner again. I try to eat less of it, or throw in an extra salad for myself, but my willpower is only so strong.

Does anyone have any ideas for how I can keep my family's weight/calories up, while still managing to lose myself? My biggest problem is 1) Having their snacks and bad stuff in the house and 2) Feeling like I really need to be feeding them more caloric-heavy foodstuffs. and 3) I don't want my daughters to end up like me, no matter how healthy they are right now, so I feel like they need to learn how to eat healthy, even if they do end up with their father's genes in long term.

Ugh! This is the big reason I got fat in the first place!

Ideas greatly appreciated!

cjohnson728 10-29-2012 12:00 PM

Hi there, welcome to FitDay.

I have a couple of ideas. First, figure out what your trigger foods are...those that set you off and you know you will eat too much of. Try to eliminate those or avoid having them around as much as possible. Maybe it's something your husband can take your kids out for as a treat. Second, if you buy stuff for them that is not something you would want to be eating, try to get things you don't like, or flavors you don't like. I've also been known to ask my husband and son to hide their snacks if I don't feel I can keep out of them. You sound like you have a great family who would be willing to help, so maybe this is something they can do.

About meals, I don't think it really works to fix two separate things, one for you, one for them. It's too tempting to dive into the mac and cheese when you are sitting there looking at a salad. Instead, could you try eating what the family eats, with some modifications? For example, I make my guys tacos, but I eat the meat on a salad instead of shells or tortillas. If I make them mashed potatoes, I bake a sweet potato instead for me, but the rest of the meal is the same. To an extent, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, as one of our longtimers here used to say, so having them eat healthier is okay, but I understand it's hard to yank everyone's favorites away because you are wanting to lose weight. So moderation is the key. Also making healthier substitutes for things helps, like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, whole wheat bread.

They may also be able to gain a little bit by eating high calorie snacks...nuts, dried fruit, peanut butter, cheese.

Just one more thought...you mentioned that you bought everything low fat. In my opinion, that always backfires (and I say that from years of doing so myself). Low fat foods replace the fat with more sugar, more carbs, or chemicals, all of which cause weight gain. Your body needs fat...preferably healthy fat. It also needs protein and fiber.

At any rate, those are my thoughts. Hope some of them help, and I hope to see you around the boards!

clbencemunns 10-29-2012 04:06 PM

Thank you, I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one!

Carbs are definitely my triggers. If I stick to whole grains and lots of fiber, and eat as much lean protein as I can manage to get in, I do well. I try to hit 30% Protein, 30% fat, and 40% carbs. Usually, if I can hit 25% protein in a day, I'm successful. Any carb that isn't a whole grain, and not eating enough lean protein are my triggers, as then I seem to just keep eating the carbs and the rest of the day. I know it's been discussed here, but any suggestions for lean proteins would also help me. I do eggs, beef jerky, chicken breast, tuna, and I even found a low-cal coffee flavored protein drink I like (which I try to drink when I have a sugary or carb snack craving).

I also need to start exercising again. I did well the first month, but hurt my back pretty badly and completely stopped. My back eventually got back to normal quite awhile ago, but I was still losing weight pretty quickly, so I didn't restart the exercising. My husband thinks that may be the biggest factor for my stall, and he may be right. I still have a calorie deficit most days, just not as big of a deficit as I had before. As we lose weight, does our breakeven calorie requirement decline? Fit day still shows the same calorie requirement for me, but I've been stuck at the same weight for 3 weeks, even with a 300-500 calorie deficit per day (I used to regularly hit a 800 calorie deficit).

haquegiftshop 10-30-2012 07:41 AM

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yauncin 11-02-2012 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cjohnson728 (Post 91184)
Just one more thought...you mentioned that you bought everything low fat. In my opinion, that always backfires (and I say that from years of doing so myself). Low fat foods replace the fat with more sugar, more carbs, or chemicals, all of which cause weight gain. Your body needs fat...preferably healthy fat. It also needs protein and fiber.

Yes I agree with this. I stay away from things that say low fat. And I don't worry about my cholesterol. For example, I eat 4 to 5 eggs every morning. ;) But I've virtually removed all extra added sugar from my diet. Sugar is bad mmmm-kay. My blood panels always come back fine.

And people talk about the good fats, which I assume are EFAs and monounstaturated fats, but your body also needs saturated fat for proper immunity, brain health, calcium absorption, and liver health.

yauncin 11-02-2012 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clbencemunns (Post 91210)
Carbs are definitely my triggers. If I stick to whole grains and lots of fiber, and eat as much lean protein as I can manage to get in, I do well. I try to hit 30% Protein, 30% fat, and 40% carbs. Usually, if I can hit 25% protein in a day, I'm successful. Any carb that isn't a whole grain, and not eating enough lean protein are my triggers, as then I seem to just keep eating the carbs and the rest of the day. I know it's been discussed here, but any suggestions for lean proteins would also help me. I do eggs, beef jerky, chicken breast, tuna, and I even found a low-cal coffee flavored protein drink I like (which I try to drink when I have a sugary or carb snack craving).

I keep my protein at about 35-40% of my calories with fat and carbs at an even split. This seems to keep me full must of the day though I do start to get hungry about an hour or half hour before my next meal which is what I'm aiming for anyway. My largest meal calorie wise is breakfast except on days I'm working out or running, which right now is pretty much everyday, then my breakfast and supper are about equal. But I run and workout in the morning. I do take a protein supplement to reach my target protein intake. But my diet is such that it only supplements about 20 to 40 grams in a day.

You should definitely start back with your workouts it will help speed up your metabolism.

Sorry I just noticed that this thread was in the woman's only section. :( Hope no one gets offended.

cjohnson728 11-02-2012 06:14 PM

yauncin, guys crash this thread all the time. Welcome anytime :). Just avoid the ones that have TMI and someone will let you know if they are uncomfortable, but it's never happened AFAIK.

yauncin 11-03-2012 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cjohnson728 (Post 91428)
yauncin, guys crash this thread all the time. Welcome anytime :). Just avoid the ones that have TMI and someone will let you know if they are uncomfortable, but it's never happened AFAIK.

:D Great. I'll look out for the TMI tag.

clbencemunns 11-04-2012 04:46 PM

How the heck are you guys hitting 35-40% proteins? I literally have to consciously eat extra tuna, eggs, and snack on lunch meat all the time just to get close to 30%!

I did discover prepackaged hard boiled eggs at Walmart, yay! It helps to have a quick and easy, ready to go snack when the family is grabbing boxed snacks and Halloween candy. I do have a pretty low cal, coffee flavored protein supplement, may have to start doing that again.

And I do get plenty of fats from eggs, meats, cheese, 1% milk, reduced fat margarine and mayo, regular olive oil, etc. It was one of those things that really stuck out at me when I first started logging my foods-how many calories I "spent" on that stuff. Switching to some reduced fat products just helped me bring my caloric and fat% intake back down to more normal. I did also cut my sugar intake drastically-before I began this journey I was drinking 2-3 mountain dews and 3-4 cups of coffee with full sugar creamer every day! Now I drink 1 cup of coffee with sugar free creamer, tea sometimes with a tiny bit of honey, and maybe one or two reduced calorie sodas per WEEK.

I finally budged the scale this week by 2 pounds, but went out to lunch with a friend on Friday, ate a bacon burger and fries, and the scale added a whole pound! What is that?? I saved up for that cheeseburger and was still at a small calorie deficit for the day! If prior history holds, that 1# should just disappear in the next day or two. I'm really starting to think that my caloric requirements are less than what they were a couple months and 20# ago. I'm working on the exercise and hope that helps. If I have to cut my calories, I may be in trouble: I think I've been so successful because I don't feel deprived at all, more that I just have to pay attention.

So frustrating when you were having such GREAT luck, and it just kind of stops working!

cjohnson728 11-04-2012 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clbencemunns (Post 91493)
How the heck are you guys hitting 35-40% proteins? I literally have to consciously eat extra tuna, eggs, and snack on lunch meat all the time just to get close to 30%!

I don't. I am usually more in the 25% - 30% range.

Quote:

Originally Posted by clbencemunns (Post 91493)
I finally budged the scale this week by 2 pounds, but went out to lunch with a friend on Friday, ate a bacon burger and fries, and the scale added a whole pound! What is that??

That is most likely salt/water weight. Restaurant foods have huge amounts of sodium. Give it time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by clbencemunns (Post 91493)
I'm really starting to think that my caloric requirements are less than what they were a couple months and 20# ago.

Yes, your caloric requirements do go down after you've lost 20 lbs.; there is not as much mass to move, so it takes less energy, and calories are energy. If you are updating your weight in FitDay, it should reflect a lower calories burned number now than it did 20 lbs. ago. One way to counterbalance this a bit is to include weight training...muscle burns more calories pound for pound than non-muscle tissue.


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