Go Back   FitDay Discussion Boards > WOMEN’S ONLY CORNER > Support group for just women
Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-12-2012, 11:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
almeeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Absentha View Post
Omg, I hate when people say that. As if being thinner makes your facial features any better. If you're pretty, you're pretty, regardless of your weight.
Actually I'm not sure that's completely true. When Oprah is thin, her eyes look too far apart and too large for her face, when she's heavier her eyes look fabulous. Seriously I think my own face looks better when I'm a little heavy, at my lowest weight I looked like I'd been in chemo.

As for "stuff my mom says", I think the hardest backhanded compliments were when she told me "you're too thin already and need put a few pounds back on" and "what was I going to do about all those new wrinkles?". My mother is actually very supportive, but her own habits are abysmal, so I forgive her. She's not an expert on everything, I would go to her for advice and/or help on lots of different things, but I've accepted that she's not a brain surgeon, a mechanic, a dietician or a personal trainer.
__________________
Starting weight: 244.6 lbs. 10/01/09
Pounds lost: 80.6 lbs
Current weight: 164 lbs
Goal weight: 120 lbs
Weight to go: 44 lbs
Goal Date: 1/1/13

Last edited by almeeker; 03-12-2012 at 11:21 AM.
almeeker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
Super Moderator
 
taubele's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 933
Default

I think the weirdest thing said to me was something said by both BF *and* my father in the same day - I had been discussing my weight goal of 140 (at the time, it's now 130-ish) and they both said something to the tune of "Oh, you should/could go way lower than that. Don't sell yourself short." It was a weird compliment but at the same time very offensive to the hard thought I'd put into a goal! BF suggested "You should go for 105."

At 105 I would probably look like someone who had been through starvation. I'm 5'4.5" and built fairly "sturdy" - I've got wide shoulders and hips and at 160-ish currently, my hipbones are RIGHT THERE and easy to feel, even though they're not quite poking out (they do show when I'm laying down). I think I'd look awful at 105. I think it's just a weird number stuck in his head about a perfect weight and I want to smack it out of there.

I've otherwise been fairly lucky with the compliments I've gotten. Once I started to lost 25+ lbs. it seemed that my friends and coworkers started to notice, and I tentatively got asked "Hey...uh, have you been losing weight?" And I responded really positively and they all seemed relived, because they hadn't wanted to imply that I was fat (I was) but rather that they noticed the effort, and they told me so. My sister, mother, and grandmother have all just asked me once in awhile "So, how's the diet going?" without prying, though I'm not near them as I live 1,000 miles away.

When I went home to visit for a party and for Christmas I got a lot of "looking great, you must be working hard!" comments. I like those better. I think I agree with others here that comments which speak only to the present ("You look grea!t" "Hey, those jeans look great on you!" etc.) are the best.
__________________
Terri
Female, 30 years old, 5'4 1/2" tall
Starting weight 1/4/11 = 215.2 lbs.
Weight 5/19/14 = 179.6 (net: -35.6)
Current mini-goal: 175 lbs.
Lowest weight: 156.7 lbs.
150.2 lbs. <--- Official "Healthy BMI" weight
Estimated final goal: 130-140 lbs.
"You don't have to change your life today. You only need to change your day today."
taubele is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 364
Default

Well something the originator of this post said rung true. When people see me say, "Oh my gosh you have lost a TON of weight!" No, not really a TON (2000 pounds?!?) 40 pounds. Geeze how fat was I?

And yes the "Well don't get too thin..." that one really makes me steam, and the other one I just loathe, is when someone sees me and says, "Ohhh your FAaaaaceeee!?!?" Yes, I work out and eat right so my face looks different... really? and for some reason the term "Skinny" is very offensive to me. "You are so SKINNY!!!" defined skinny: adj: unattractively thin.

Best compliment ever is just when people smile. Men say it best, they just smile... Gotta love those men!
__________________
Weight loss of 52 pounds
frenchhen3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:55 PM   #14 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
Absentha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 67
Default

Actually my boyfriend lost a lot of weight about a couple years ago and he always gets pissed when someone tell him he's too thin, like my own mother, who keeps commenting on how bony his shoulders are. I get it, he spent most of his life getting crap for being fat and now those same people who gave him a hard time tell him he's gone too far. What the heck?
Absentha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 04:49 PM   #15 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
wildbeanerz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,517
Default

I think for me right now the best comments are the ones where others who need to lose weight are asking for my advice. It lets me know that they notice that I must be doing something right but not that they are pointing out that I was extremely obese before ( I was!).

I always hated the comments about how you could be so pretty if you would just lose some weight. I dont' happen to think I am a beauty but I don't think I am ugly either, not even at my highest weight. I was sloppy and wore frumpy clothes and didn't do my hair up nicely or wear makeup for a few years and that is probably when I felt the worst about me.

I really love when my hubby picks something specific out to comment on like, "Your eyes are really sexy today." It doesn't have anything to do with the nearly 70lbs that I have lost and I love that!
__________________
April - 35yr 5'10" mom of two teen boys

331.2 lbs 02.21.11 (start) size 28W-30W jeans
229.2 lbs 08.06.12 (best so far) size 16W
263.4 lbs 03.03.14 (current)

Progress 67.8 lbs - 20% of my original weight

Pictures...
New Collage April 2012

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a newdream. ... CS Lewis
wildbeanerz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 06:36 PM   #16 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 435
Default

I hate when they say...

Ok, you need to STOP now
Now you like you're on drugs
__________________
Start wt * 2/28/12 - 178.2
Current wt * 7/25/14 -153.2
beccafries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 06:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
lisamargaret's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2
Default

"You've come so far, and you still have so much further to go!" Yes, these were the words of encouragement from my most dedicated work out buddy after I broke the -50lbs mark. We started the journey together and he was beaming with pride when he said them.That quickly changed when I burst into tears and ran into the ladies' room.

What I heard: You were fat. Now you're less fat, but you're still fat.

What he meant (he explained once I returned from the restroom): You are awesome and I'm so proud of you! You're one of the most driven and amazing women I know and one of these days you're going to take over the world!

At the time I thought he meant well...and just screwed it up horribly. Looking back, I'm not sure how much he screwed it up and how much my being SUPER self-conscious influenced what I "heard".
lisamargaret is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 02:55 PM   #18 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
Freshman30's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 80
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazigerl View Post
My MIL said after I lost 30 pounds "you actually have a cute face" Thanks.

My husband noticed I had smaller wrists????

My sister says I have more wrinkles.

My family is so "special"
I'm sorry. I honestly feel for you, but I laughed so hard at this. Smaller wrists? More wrinkles? Oh, dear.

Something MY mom said: "If you keep losing weight, with your thick legs you're going to look like a pear." (She meant thick as in muscular. I think)
Freshman30 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 04:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 426
Default Wait untill you hear this

A couple of years ago, I went to my friend's wedding. Before that I try to lose weight of course. I lost about 10 pounds. I got to the wedding and said "Hi" to my friend's father. He looked at me and said "You are fatter!". I like "humm". Then I kind of walking away. Next month, I will attend her brother's wedding, and I am afraid to see her father again. Because I know how he greet me.
Mai
lastri is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 07:15 PM   #20 (permalink)
FitDay Member
 
wildbeanerz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,517
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lastri View Post
A couple of years ago, I went to my friend's wedding. Before that I try to lose weight of course. I lost about 10 pounds. I got to the wedding and said "Hi" to my friend's father. He looked at me and said "You are fatter!". I like "humm". Then I kind of walking away. Next month, I will attend her brother's wedding, and I am afraid to see her father again. Because I know how he greet me.
Mai
That is just rude. Some people need to filter their mouth!
__________________
April - 35yr 5'10" mom of two teen boys

331.2 lbs 02.21.11 (start) size 28W-30W jeans
229.2 lbs 08.06.12 (best so far) size 16W
263.4 lbs 03.03.14 (current)

Progress 67.8 lbs - 20% of my original weight

Pictures...
New Collage April 2012

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a newdream. ... CS Lewis
wildbeanerz is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2