taubele

Sorry I'm jumping in late everyone. Last week entirely got away from me ("busy" isn't even the word for it) and I'm fairly certain I'm going through a mild depression at the moment. I'm actually starting to suspect the BC pills I've been on for a few months... when I'm going through TOTM on them I get some bad symptoms (in white):

constant diarrhea
bad headaches
depression/anxiety spikes
very, very tired
moody

I actually suffer from panic attacks. I have consulted a doc about them before and they're usually fairly rare (maybe 1/2 per year -- not enough to consider me having Panic Disorder) but since I've been on these pills (for about 6 months now, maybe 7) I've had four of them. Almost always right around TOTM. Panic attacks are absolutely no fun and I'm not sure if the lower estrogen is worth it.

It's like PMS in reverse. I went on these pills a few months ago after losing weight because I needed to lower my estrogen dose (I had been on high-estrogen pills for my fat body, haha). When I am ON the pills I actually feel great, better than I had before, but those few days when I'm off are a nightmare. I haven't actually sat down and recorded the symptoms as always happening during the days off pills - it's just a hunch of mine, something I've noticed. I may start keeping a diary of it to see if my hunch is right. On top of it all, I'm still stressed about finding a job AND trying to keep my head in the game for my current workload. I know I can do it, I'm just having trouble finding motivation. I feel really lost.

The motivation is trickling into my weight loss regimen and I am being lackluster at best. I see old habits coming back (i.e. "sneaking" food) and I'm disappointing myself. I am unsure what will snap me out of this funk. Finding a job would sure help, as would me feeling like I just can't be good enough, no matter what I do (that's my depression talking, I know, but it's still there, darnit!). My weight has been hovering right around 160 for weeks now and it's frustrating.

I am going to try to keep up with goals this week. Here they are!

Weekly Goals

Food/Exercise/Lifestyle Goals

1) Calories between 1200-1500
2) Exercise 3 times this week, high intensity
3) Calorie deficit of 4,000-5,000
4) In bed by 11:30 every night
5) Protein between 25-30% on average for the week
6) 80 oz. of water daily
7) Take my multivitamin!!
8) Weigh in daily and post here T: 158.6

Other Goals

1) Turn in 5 job applications this week
2) Prepare for exam review by Thursday
3) Take some "me" time every day
4) Don't sweat the small stuff

dar n

Tori Thanks for sharing your pictures.

Luv Sorry to hear you are sick, get well soon.

Amy I hope your brother fully recovered how scary for you and your parents to have someone you love injured and far away. Sorry your middle dd is giving you grief in the morning you are making me want to phone my mom and say sorry. I am still not a morning person I don’t like it when my family talks to me before my coffee and I am certainly not hungry until at least an hour after I wake up. I went to school without breakfast a lot much to my mothers frustration but she always had an extra snack in my bag for recess and I was hungry by then so it probably didn’t hurt me to have breakfast at 10:30. I have no great advice because I don’t think my mom was ever able to have a wonderful morning with me but I am glad she held her ground and fought the fight because I get up and do what I need to on time everyday even though I dislike mornings.

Mern I am glad you are ok did your sinus headache pass?

Kim Thanks for the info, how long have you been diving?

Quinn Have a great day.

Mike Enjoy your day at mardi gras.

Lizzie Thanks!

Mea Your job does sound fun.

Terri Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, have you been back to share these symptoms with your Dr?

I am off to hike. I hope you all have a great day.

Mern

Just flying by.

Thanks, y'all for the welcome back.

So much to do today. Blood test tomorrow--I had been thinking the test was Friday and haven't been drinking enough water so I'll have to suggest to them to try to try to take it out of the top of my hand again. It takes longer to fill the tube but they've always been able to get enough. After I pick up the kids I'll try to drink as much as possible for the rest of the day.

On older ladies and swearing: I love telling this story. In the 20+ years I knew my mother-in-law, I heard her swear only one time. She was almost 80 and father-in-law about 83. He was grumbling about one son who had recently gotten divorced. He said the trouble in that marriage was that the wife always told the HUSBAND what to do and the husband should be telling the WIFE what to do. I told him my DH NEVER has to tell ME what to do because I'm not STUPID. So I asked my mother-in-law right in front of him whether he tells HER what to do. She got a devilish grin on her face and said, "Oh yeah! He tells me what to do all the time--but then I turn around and do whatever I damned well please!" At that, my father-in-law left the room in a huff and mumbling to himself. LOL

Terri, I hope you get used to those pills or get some different ones and get rid of all those TOTM problems. Certainly is a load to carry! I was never on the pill and never took estrogen or any other hormones, so I'm sure I have no idea what you must be going through. Huge hugs to ya.

Mern

Darlene, yes, my headache finally and totally passed after 2 1/2 days of relief only when I was sleeping. Thanks. Luckily it was just a lingering headache from my allergy, and not a sinus infection.

I'll be back later--gotta run.

almeeker

Sister, jump on the wagon there is always room for one more. I should warn you though that I'm going to give Mike a really hard time for at least a week if he can't keep up. And don't worry about stepping on my toes, the kids do that constantly and it never seems to get old, well to them it never gets old.

almeeker

Bahahahaha, that's a good story, and an even better philosophy.

canary52

Tori, I knew a woman who went to NOLA and said I aint pulling up my shirt for no plastic beads. If they want to see me topless, they better be throwing down a Rolex or a diamond bracelet!!! Just saying.

almeeker

That story about my brother was from 1999, he's fully recovered, except for one little section of his lower lip no longer has feeling in it. In spite of all the trauma to his head, he isn't any dumber than he was when he willingly jumped on the back of a wild bull with a cinch around it's junk. And to make matters worse, my already beautiful brother actually came out better looking in the end, it's soooo not fair. You see the surgeon had to fix his nose, which had been broken I don't know how many times prior to the rodeo accident, it was crooked and bent funny in at least 3 places, and it had a rather large lump in the middle of it (genetic). Anyway they only had a driver's license picture to work from, so the doc asked me if I had any opinions about what it should look like, did I have a favorite actor or some such. I should have said Barbara Striessand, but instead I said that I always thought Mel Gibson had a good looking nose. And I kid you not, the surgeon called me right after the procedure and said, "we couldn't give him the "Gibson", he didn't have the base for it, so we went with the "Costner, I hope that's okay".

I really wish you had better advice on raising a "non-morning-person" child. I've packed snacks for years, but it doesn't occur to her to eat them, so they just end up smashed in the bottom of her backpack. If she weren't such a meanie butt when she's low on calories I probably wouldn't worry about it, but HOLY COW she'd get herself kicked out of public school if I let her go to school like that every day.

And WHOOOO HOOOOO HOOOOO on the new job. You go girl!!!

almeeker

Terri, I have no advice on the birth control front, I'm playing anti-baby pill roulette right along with you (they look sort of like a roulette wheel don't they, which has always struck me as just a bit ironic). I usually give myself 6 months to get used to them, because it does take time. I've had some really weird symptoms over the years too. Did your old ones bother you? If not you might just want to go back to them. Although I will caution that I did exactly that a while back and the old ones had a bunch of new symptoms that they never had before.

almeeker

It all depends on whether or not you're a convert. Bahahaha!!! My relatives who were born into Catholic households give up something for Lent every year, but go right back to it Easter morning. My SIL who is a converted Catholic takes her commitments more seriously. She gives up the same all the same things she gave up last year, plus a new one (she says it helps her remember how long she's been Catholic), then she tries to go longer than 40 days. So now through Lent she doesn't:

eat sweets
eat chocolate
drink alcohol
buy anything frivolous
swear out loud
swear with sign language
take the Lord's name in vain
yell at her husband
fight with her husband
give her kids the evil eye
eat white flour
eat white sugar
skip working out

I don't know what she's adding this year, it's always interesting and funny, well watching my brother suffer through it is funny anyway. She makes him give up stuff too. Back in the olden days you were supposed to give up meat, wine and um, relations... I will die laughing if she gives up sex for Lent though. The funniest part is that in their house you have to put money in the rice bowl (church charity) for infractions and they keep it smack dab in the middle of the kitchen table as a reminder. One time during Lent she got really mad at my brother, but was trying not to say anything. So he says to her, just go get a dollar and get it over with. She came back with a $20, and unfurled it all over him.