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mia21594 03-19-2010 03:19 AM

Feeling awful...really need some advice and support
 
Alright, so I'm 23, and I'm about 15-20 pounds overweight. I have been self concious ever since I was a young child. I've always been trying to lose weight. In high school, I would bounce back so much...lose 15 pounds, gain 20, lose 5 pounds, gain 10...I'd always end up weighing more each time. I am just so sick and tired of being and feeling fat and ugly. My main problem is snacking. I'm great with working out, but I seriously love food way to much. It seems as though I eat just for fun and have no self-control whatsoever. I'll start really well on a Monday, lose a few pounds by Friday, eat bad on Saturday, give up, Start on Monday, and it just repeats itself. I haven't lost weight and kept it off in a few years now and it's really taking a toll. I've always had a depression problem and it just makes me sick looking at myself now. I cry every night and I just want to feel good about myself (for once). I feel like losing weight could finally make me a happy person. So sorry this is so long...I never really talk about this to anyone, so it's a relief to get it out. Any advice on how NOT to snack after a workout (i do this a lot...), success stories, any motivation would be REALLY appreciated, and anyone going through the same thing...I just feel like I finally have to start this journey because I'm in a really bad place right now.

cjohnson728 03-19-2010 03:47 AM

Hi Mia, you could be telling my story. I have always been a little overweight (10 to 15 lbs more than I wanted) and have lost and gained more times than I can count. Snacking at night is my worst habit and once I blew it on weekends I would throw in the towel and go whole hog. Then I found the quote that is in my signature and I try to live by that and forgive myself and move on from the slipups.

A couple things. First, just losing weight is not enough to make you a happy person. Sure, it will help, but you may also need to take a look at other things that stress you and / or things that made you eat in the first place. If your depression is chronic you might want to talk to your doctor and/or a therapist. That is another way you can take care of yourself.

Second, keep in mind that you have taken the first step here. That's a really good thing! Also, logging everything in FitDay helps decrease snacking, knowing you have to put it in. You probably should snack after a workout, but make it something healthy. I usually try to go for some protein (yogurt, cheese) or sometimes fruit...a cold orange is one of my fave post-workout snacks, depending on how my food is balancing out for the day.

Finally, this is also a good place to get it out. A lot of us eat for emotional reasons and for me personally, if I'm on here posting, I'm NOT EATING :). So don't worry about a post being too long or a downer or whatever. That's what this is for. There is a thread on ways to cope with emotional eating in the Women's Support Corner that might be helpful.

One step at a time.

Lizzycritter 03-19-2010 04:05 AM

Depending on my schedule, my workouts fall either immediately before breakfast or immediately before lunch, I know I'm going to be hungry so I plan accordingly. I agree, the other problems in life aren't going to magically disappear once you reach your goal weight. Looking into WHY you overeat in the first place is essential. Start a journal, write down what you are feeling each day. Over time you'll be able to compare it to your food log and patterns will emerge. Keep your house stocked with healthy snacks and banish the junk food, so if you do go on a binge the damage is limited (how much damage can you do with baby carrots? lol). Take baby steps. Eliminate pop this week, doritos the next. If you snack at night while watching TV, turn it off and start reading, or crafting. You can't eat if your hands are already busy. You're learning new patterns and a new way of life. It takes time. My quote is something I kept hearing myself say. It's finally starting to stick, after 4+ years lol.

almeeker 03-19-2010 07:22 PM

I'm with lizzycritter and cjohnson on this one. The first thing I do in the morning is eat a banana and then I workout. After my workout, I shower and then eat breakfast. Eating after a workout is not only normal, but important. I always try and get in some protein at breakfast, not only does it fill me up, but it helps rebuild the muscles that got beat up during the workout. So if possible move your workout to a time of day that's immediately before a meal. If that's not something you can do, then maybe you should have a healthy snack right before the workout and something like a protein shake afterward.

Also get rid of the bad snacks in your house. I know that's easier said than done, but I'm working on it at my house. Believe me the homeless shelter is always glad to take food of any kind.

DeathArrow 03-20-2010 02:02 AM

Don't feel bad. I have the EXACT same problem. When I screw up, I just feel like I blew my ENTIRE diet and gained back everything..I still need to lose about 30 more pounds and I feel like I'm doing just enough to maintain. I remember, I saw a user say...either on this forum or on another forum that "to maintain is as much a victory as a loss at this point" (talking about her weight). And I tell you, I really am happy just to eat enough to maintain because that is what I am doing rather than eating less. But I'm working on it. Of course, if you can eat enough to maintain also, that would be a victory for you too. It helps me to know that I'm not a "failure" because if I am, then so is many many other people roaming this forum because I know they're all where I am at or at least have been there. So don't feel like you have failed, you're definitely not the only one.
I even posted a thread about messing up my diet, everyone had very encouraging words. I think you should check it out, really it helps me to read it when I need some encouragement.

Also, I can identify with the feeling sick and ugly part. I know you have completed highschool, but I am in highschool. And it's not any easier than from when you were here. I just thought this the other day when I overate (accident or not? hmm) I just looked, and thought "You really hate yourself don't you" to myself. I am learning by watching someone else that no one will love you if you don't love yourself. I see this at school with a particular girl..I won't go into the story..but she tries very hard to be friends with girls that are mean to hear. And I see now that, she is surrendering herself and not loving herself, and because of it...no one else will and I find myself thinking how unattractive it is. And then I realize, it's true..no one will love you if you don't. I know you didn't say that your problem is that no one loves you, but my point is that you need to start loving yourself and stop hating you. Just really think how silly it is for human beings to hate themselves. It's counterproductive. When people see you hating yourself, it really looks silly. So you seriously need to stop, and start looking at yourself and thinking about how all the people that have existed in history from the beginning until now, there has never been anyone exactly like you. That's a quote from somewhere...but you understand.

In any case, I mostly snack because I love food and I'm bored. I'm not gonna say "find a hobby" because, well..you can still eat food while doing that hobby. All I can say is, eat the little that you need at one point and then do something else and try not to think about the food. I don't have much advice for that, I'm sorry..I'm working on it myself, I'm trying to keep myself busy and just not think about it.

I hope your diet goes well for you in the long run. And you always have this place to lean on when you can't stand up by yourself!!

RunbikeSki 03-20-2010 02:47 AM

Hey Mia,
15 to 20 pounds may seem like a lot, but we have all known women who were 50 to 60 pounds over weight and looked great - it's all in the attitude. One of my best friends is that way. She is so well groomed, so self confident, and pretty darned smart to boot that people don't even see, let alone think, about her weight. I know she does from time to time, but her philosophy is change what you can, and let the rest go.

Sometimes you just have to wait until the right time to take control over the weight. That has been the case with me. I am research scientist with lots of pressure and responsibility, and before that I was a PhD student, and before that I put myself through college. I just didn't have the time or energy to focus on my weight problems until quite recently. At the moment the career is on auto pilot, so I can focus on losing the pounds for a few months, it has been a wonderful diversion!

Like all of the women who have replied, I am more concerned about how you feel about yourself than about how much weight you are carrying. Be kind to yourself. You are only human. Have a good cry if that makes you feel better, then take a step forward. Imagine a bright future and keep your eye on it and do your very best not to dwell on the past.

Most of us have been where you are at one time or another, as you can see from how many wrote to tell you their story. Seeking help is a sure sign of strength - build from it.

---Pam


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