7-Day Motivational Thread starting 2/6/12
02-12-2012, 12:15 PM
#282
FitDay Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Chesnee, SC
Posts: 1,303
Cassie-I say eat the chicken and mashed potatoes!!!
Mike-don't brag about parades. it's not fair to the rest of us who have to wait a week
Mern-I'm taking some time to reevaluate where my head and heart lie. I've made a pact with myself to not even CONSIDER dating anyone for the next 2 months. After that, I'll see how it goes.
Rant in white:
So, a little bit of back story. I was living in my grandparents' house with my cousin and one of her friends. Six months later the friend's boyfriend moved in (we all agreed on it). No big, split the bills 4 ways, everything was dandy. THEN the friend gets pregnant. It happens. I had been contemplating getting a place of my own anyway, so I figured that this was the perfect time. I moved, they made my room into a nusery and everything has been okay. I had already had most of my stuff in a storage unit because there wasn't enough room in the house for 4 people's furniture, and quite frankly I didn't want them destroying my things. We had been using a refrigerator that had been given to me by my SIL's little brother when he moved across state. The fridge worked like a CHAMP! It wasn't pretty, but it kept everything cold and was FREE! It could have been pink with purple polka dots and I wouldn't have cared. Anyway, when I decided to move they wanted a new fridge. My cousin's sister was getting rid of a fairly new, black side by side, so the cousin and friend jumped on it. It matched the other appliances in the kitchen AND the thing that pushed it over the edge for them, it had an ice maker!! Cause it's ssssooooo hard to fill up ice trays and then dump the cubes in a bucket!!! But whatever! We put my fridge in the basement because my storage unit wasn't big enough to hold it and the rest of my furniture. I told them that just as soon as I could get it out, I would. Well, now that I'm moving AGAIN, this time to Momma and Deddy's, I had to get a bigger storage unit to house all the rest of my house full of crap. I was going to let my cousin know that I could come get the fridge to put in the bigger unit, just haven't had the chance. I had to run by the cousin's house this afternoon to pick up my softball glove (she had borrowed and never returned it) because my oldest niece has JV tryouts starting tomorrow and wanted me to work with her some this afternoon. I called, and the friend's BF answered and said that he and friend were home, to come on by. I went down to the basement to find my glove and noticed one particular large rectangular box shaped appliance missing!! YUP, my refrigerator is no where to be seen. I politely (seriously I was polite) asked what happened to it and the BF said "I dunno". So, whatever, I got my glove and was gonna be on my way. The BF comes out, motions for me to roll the window down on the car and says "oh yea, I forgot. K (my cousin) had me help her load it in the back of her Pop's pickup. I think she took it to the salvage yard to be scrapped." I thanked him for the info and left.
So here's where I'm mad. I had told them before they switched the fridges out, that if their new one didn't work great, they were welcome to use mine. (the newer black ice making one didn't keep things cold very well) I had no problems with them using it if need be. I still don't. HOWEVER! I do have a problem with them/her scrapping it for the money. It wasn't her's to scrap!!! I probably wouldn't have kept it when I find a new place anyway. It's old and if I'm buying a house I want new appliances. THEN I would have probably scrapped it. But, as it stands, I'm now out a refrigerator AND didn't get the money out of it. If K had needed money, she could have asked. I most likely would have told her to go scrap it. But I wasn't asked. Also, she makes more money than I do!!! I can afford all the bills there on what I make, so why can't she? Where the fuck is her money going??? I know for a fact that the rent they're paying isn't breaking her. OR her car payment/insurance. OR the utilities! She's had substance abuse problems in the past, and the ONLY time she's had money problems is when she was using. I hate hate hate that it's the first thing I think of, but it is. I know her too well, I know when she's strapped for money it's usually because she's using again. If it had been just any other roommate I would probably have already called and cussed her for all she's worth. But because she's family, and our extended family is tight I don't know what to do.......
And then about an hour or so later, K calls and asks for my help sewing some patches on her work uniforms because it's 8 bucks every time she has someone sew them for her, and she's broke. It took all I had in me to play it cool until I figure out how to handle the situation. SO CONFUSED!!!
Ideas????
Mike-don't brag about parades. it's not fair to the rest of us who have to wait a week
Mern-I'm taking some time to reevaluate where my head and heart lie. I've made a pact with myself to not even CONSIDER dating anyone for the next 2 months. After that, I'll see how it goes.
Rant in white:
So, a little bit of back story. I was living in my grandparents' house with my cousin and one of her friends. Six months later the friend's boyfriend moved in (we all agreed on it). No big, split the bills 4 ways, everything was dandy. THEN the friend gets pregnant. It happens. I had been contemplating getting a place of my own anyway, so I figured that this was the perfect time. I moved, they made my room into a nusery and everything has been okay. I had already had most of my stuff in a storage unit because there wasn't enough room in the house for 4 people's furniture, and quite frankly I didn't want them destroying my things. We had been using a refrigerator that had been given to me by my SIL's little brother when he moved across state. The fridge worked like a CHAMP! It wasn't pretty, but it kept everything cold and was FREE! It could have been pink with purple polka dots and I wouldn't have cared. Anyway, when I decided to move they wanted a new fridge. My cousin's sister was getting rid of a fairly new, black side by side, so the cousin and friend jumped on it. It matched the other appliances in the kitchen AND the thing that pushed it over the edge for them, it had an ice maker!! Cause it's ssssooooo hard to fill up ice trays and then dump the cubes in a bucket!!! But whatever! We put my fridge in the basement because my storage unit wasn't big enough to hold it and the rest of my furniture. I told them that just as soon as I could get it out, I would. Well, now that I'm moving AGAIN, this time to Momma and Deddy's, I had to get a bigger storage unit to house all the rest of my house full of crap. I was going to let my cousin know that I could come get the fridge to put in the bigger unit, just haven't had the chance. I had to run by the cousin's house this afternoon to pick up my softball glove (she had borrowed and never returned it) because my oldest niece has JV tryouts starting tomorrow and wanted me to work with her some this afternoon. I called, and the friend's BF answered and said that he and friend were home, to come on by. I went down to the basement to find my glove and noticed one particular large rectangular box shaped appliance missing!! YUP, my refrigerator is no where to be seen. I politely (seriously I was polite) asked what happened to it and the BF said "I dunno". So, whatever, I got my glove and was gonna be on my way. The BF comes out, motions for me to roll the window down on the car and says "oh yea, I forgot. K (my cousin) had me help her load it in the back of her Pop's pickup. I think she took it to the salvage yard to be scrapped." I thanked him for the info and left.
So here's where I'm mad. I had told them before they switched the fridges out, that if their new one didn't work great, they were welcome to use mine. (the newer black ice making one didn't keep things cold very well) I had no problems with them using it if need be. I still don't. HOWEVER! I do have a problem with them/her scrapping it for the money. It wasn't her's to scrap!!! I probably wouldn't have kept it when I find a new place anyway. It's old and if I'm buying a house I want new appliances. THEN I would have probably scrapped it. But, as it stands, I'm now out a refrigerator AND didn't get the money out of it. If K had needed money, she could have asked. I most likely would have told her to go scrap it. But I wasn't asked. Also, she makes more money than I do!!! I can afford all the bills there on what I make, so why can't she? Where the fuck is her money going??? I know for a fact that the rent they're paying isn't breaking her. OR her car payment/insurance. OR the utilities! She's had substance abuse problems in the past, and the ONLY time she's had money problems is when she was using. I hate hate hate that it's the first thing I think of, but it is. I know her too well, I know when she's strapped for money it's usually because she's using again. If it had been just any other roommate I would probably have already called and cussed her for all she's worth. But because she's family, and our extended family is tight I don't know what to do.......
And then about an hour or so later, K calls and asks for my help sewing some patches on her work uniforms because it's 8 bucks every time she has someone sew them for her, and she's broke. It took all I had in me to play it cool until I figure out how to handle the situation. SO CONFUSED!!!
Ideas????
Last edited by ToriD1012; 02-12-2012 at 12:26 PM.
02-12-2012, 12:40 PM
#284
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,083
Sheesh, Tori, I'd be upset, too. Have you spoken with K directly about the fridge? Could you open with being very direct and saying, "I know that you're asking me for help, but I'm really upset with you right now"? That may lead to a discussion in which you can state your point of view, and/or she can offer to make right.
Or you could say that you'll do her damn patches for $6 each, because you have to save up for a new fridge
.
If she's using, that's on her...it's not your job to ride in and do a rescue, but you know that. And when that's in the history, it's a price you pay that people remember it, so no apologies necessary for that one.
I know it's frustrating when it's family and folks are close. I've been in a similar situation, though when push came to shove the person realized they were wrong and didn't have a choice about bringing my thing back. I just tried to lay out my case logically and not emotionally, and that was helpful.
Mike may have some nice, blunt suggestions for you, though!
Or you could say that you'll do her damn patches for $6 each, because you have to save up for a new fridge
.If she's using, that's on her...it's not your job to ride in and do a rescue, but you know that. And when that's in the history, it's a price you pay that people remember it, so no apologies necessary for that one.
I know it's frustrating when it's family and folks are close. I've been in a similar situation, though when push came to shove the person realized they were wrong and didn't have a choice about bringing my thing back. I just tried to lay out my case logically and not emotionally, and that was helpful.
Mike may have some nice, blunt suggestions for you, though!
02-12-2012, 12:45 PM
#285
FitDay Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 532
Tori ~ I really don't have lots of advice here. The first thing that comes to mind (something that you already are aware of) is that it seems as if you are the "grown up" in this relationship and are the one to set up loving/clear boundaries. I know this isn't much help. I'd be upset too. Hugs to you.
ETA: I like what Cassie said.
ETA: I like what Cassie said.
02-12-2012, 01:00 PM
#286
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Slidell, Louisiana
Posts: 8,232
Yes I do. In white. (NSFW) 
Tori, you just need to suck it up and make amends with her. Tell her that you'll sew the patches on her uniform. Just tell her to drop the uniform and patches off and you'll let her know when it's done. Don't forget that when you sew them on to sew completely through both sides of her uniform. Sew that damn thing shut. Then I'd sew the uniform in a nice little ball and when she freaks out tell her that you did that so it would be easier for her to stick it up her ass. Then politely tell her to fuck off and the next time her crack feigning ass tries to pawn your shit to put money in her pockets you're going to sew her shut. Easy enough? 
Tori, you just need to suck it up and make amends with her. Tell her that you'll sew the patches on her uniform. Just tell her to drop the uniform and patches off and you'll let her know when it's done. Don't forget that when you sew them on to sew completely through both sides of her uniform. Sew that damn thing shut. Then I'd sew the uniform in a nice little ball and when she freaks out tell her that you did that so it would be easier for her to stick it up her ass. Then politely tell her to fuck off and the next time her crack feigning ass tries to pawn your shit to put money in her pockets you're going to sew her shut. Easy enough? Last edited by 01gt4.6; 02-12-2012 at 01:05 PM.
02-12-2012, 01:10 PM
#287
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,083
Yes I do. In white. (NSFW) Tori, you just need to suck it up and make amends with her. Tell her that you'll sew the patches on her uniform. Just tell her to drop the uniform and patches off and you'll let her know when it's done. Don't forget that when you sew them on to sew completely through both sides of her uniform. Sew that damn thing shut. Then I'd sew the uniform in a nice little ball and when she freaks out tell her that you did that so it would be easier for her to stick it up her ass. Then politely tell her to fuck off and the next time her crack feigning ass tries to pawn your shit to put money in her pockets you're going to sew her shut. Easy enough?
Tori, you just need to suck it up and make amends with her. Tell her that you'll sew the patches on her uniform. Just tell her to drop the uniform and patches off and you'll let her know when it's done. Don't forget that when you sew them on to sew completely through both sides of her uniform. Sew that damn thing shut. Then I'd sew the uniform in a nice little ball and when she freaks out tell her that you did that so it would be easier for her to stick it up her ass. Then politely tell her to fuck off and the next time her crack feigning ass tries to pawn your shit to put money in her pockets you're going to sew her shut. Easy enough? 
Not Safe For Work.
